Cancer makes you brave

Is it true that cancer makes you brave, even after treatment is over?

Maybe it's because of all of those "You are so brave and courageous" notes I received during treatment. Like a fledgling Hollywood actress, I may have fallen into the trap of believing my own press.

Maybe, but I think that illness and cancer force many of us to ask, "What's the worst thing that can happen?" When the answer is humiliation, heartbreak or failure and not death, well, shucks, anything seems doable.

BC (before cancer) would I have enrolled in an improv class? Hell, no. But when I "won" a class, donated by Bobbi Oliver, at the Hillsides Volunteer League's annual silent auction at Pasadena's Ice House, I signed up. And then I actually went to class.

One of the first lessons by our instructor, veteran improv teacher John Fontaine, was, "Don't worry about doing it well. Just do it." It's surprisingly liberating to hear these words. When I fail to follow them and try to be funny, I flounder, flop or freeze. When I pull a Nike and just do it, it somehow works. Sometimes.

I've gone from having hives to having fun. And there's nothing like the little high I get after I realize I've nailed a scene.

I'm still working on that one-woman show (Big C, Little C) and hope that this class will help my stage presence, confidence and timing. I'm even thinking about signing up for Bobbie's stand-up comedy class. Now that scares me. But not to death.