Is this chemo combo making me stupid?

Okay, maybe I've overdone it the past few days. I had evening activities Tuesday and Wednesday (and more on Thursday and Friday). I'm trying to live my life -- stay connected, run errands, meet a friend for lunch. But I feel as though this Abraxane/Avastin combo makes me both stupid and tired, as though I am running at 50% of normal.

Stupidity

At last night's meeting I had some trouble making coherent sentences. My typing has been a little incoherent, so I've had to redo most of my computer interactions. At rehearsal tonight, I had difficulty concentrating on song words, even for the songs I know by heart.

Fatigue

It seems like I am tired all the time. Not necessarily sleepy at bedtime, but constantly run down. Last night I was so tired I stumbled around the house, trying to get ready for bed, but I couldn't fall asleep. (And then I had massive foot cramps every hour, all night long. Okay, maybe lack of sleep is affecting me too.) I hit a wall this afternoon at 3 PM and fell sound asleep on the sofa.

And Monday's was only the first dose of this chemo combo.

Chronic insomnia

This not-sleeping business is for the birds. I get into bed around 11:30 PM and invariably fall asleep around 2:30 AM. How do I know this? It's the last time I look at the clock until 5:30 or 6 when Rik and Bobka the dog get up. Then I wake up again once an hour, every hour, until I give up and get out of bed around 9 AM.

Is it due to chemo? I have no answer for this one, but I haven't had treatment since April 11.

Is it due to tapering off the sertaline (anti-depressant)? I've only got a week more until I am off it completely, so we'll see what happens next week.

Is it due to not enough exercise? Even when I take the dog on a really long walk for 20 blocks, I still have trouble falling asleep at night.

Is it due to napping in the afternoon? Well, this is a no-brainer. But if I don't sleep at night, and I'm tired during the day plus fatigued from chemo, a nap seems inevitable.

Just grousing here -- I don't really want advice. But I am tired of being tired.

The day after

Yesterday's Gemzar chemo resulted in some serious fatigue today and a couple of mouth sores. Luckily the pain in my mouth is kept at bay by vicodin and gargling with salt water helps the sores heal. The fatigue is harder to deal with.

I went back to the Swedish Cancer Institute for a shot of Neulasta today to bring up my white blood cell count. Then I had a meeting at the synagogue. By the time I got home around 2 PM I was hungry and pooped. After a quick bowl of soup, I headed straight to the couch and crashed hard.

I've taken to bringing my cell phone, the home phone, a book and a cup of water with me to the sofa before I crash. This time the book slid off my lap almost before I drew the quilt over my legs. I slept hard for almost three hours. I did wake up a couple of times as I bit down on my tongue and hit a sore spot, but went right back to snoozing.

What this seems to mean is that I have about two - three good hours every day in which to see doctors, attend meetings, deal with email etc. and run whatever household errands need to be done. That's limiting, but I will find a way to make it work.

Now it's back to the sofa....

Slowing down on Gemzar?

Last night I ran 0.3 degrees of fever. It was enough for me to notice that I felt weird, take my temperature, down some Tylenol, and hide under the blanket while watching TV. After only a few minutes I began to feel better.

I made it to both meetings today, but came home and CRASHED on the sofa. I didn't think I was that tired, but after quickly eating some lunch, the sofa started calling my name. I slept hard for a couple of hours. I think this is what they mean when they say fatigue is a side effect. I just "hit the wall" and literally could not move any further until I had slept.

Maybe this Gemzar is hitting me harder than I thought. It's possible that I didn't rebound quite as far back to normal after the last dose of Navelbine as I'd hoped. And I'm sure that today's combo of driving rain, high winds, sunshine and cold didn't help either.