I Love Latin

Don'cha just love Latin? Doctors, scientists and priests often use it to make the mundane sound high falutin'.

For example, doctors from the Dermatology Grand Rounds have concluded that I may have cutis laxa, which is Latin for loose (or lax) skin. Before you say, "DUH," keep in mind that this is an actual medical condition. Emedicine.com describes cutis laxa as a "rare, inherited or acquired [mine is acquired] connective tissue disorder in which the skin becomes inelastic and hangs loosely in folds. . . . It may be preceded by an inflammatory rash." It certainly sounds and looks like me.

I'll visit my dermatologist again next week for another biopsy that will measure the amount of elastin in my skin.

My top three questions are:

• How did I get this? (Answer: unknown)

• What, if anything, can we do to stop the spread?

• What can we do to cosmetically improve the look of the loose skin?

I asked my USC liaison resident if any of the other doctors thought that my condition was related to natural aging, loss of weight or loss of muscle tone. "Oh, no," she said. "The doctors were very impressed with your case. Everyone was in agreement that your skin is abnormal."

I don't know why that makes me happy to hear. I guess, in addition to being validated, I'm glad that none of the pros think that my skin is just naturally old and flabby.

I didn't mention it to my USC resident, but I suspect that I also have at least two other disorders: gluteus laxa (saggy butt) and mammo laxa.