I was able to celebrate Shabbat again after weeks of practically no Jewish content in my life. Shabbat for us has always been about spending time with friends and family. We may go out to "play" sometimes (i.e. see a movie or a theatrical performance) but we have only missed spending Shabbat dinner with each other on a handful of occasions in the 14 years we have been married.
Because I am still not 100% on my feet, Rik offered to take me to shul for Shabbat morning services. I wanted to atttend only briefly, because the kiddush (light lunch) after services is such a lovely social moment. So we went for what one rabbi calls "kaddish and kiddush" -- showing up at the end of services, just in time to socialize.
We arrived in time to hear the second half of the guest speaker's talk on Israel - very powerful. Then we slipped into my usual spot and tried not to make too much of a fuss being greeted by others. I was able to sing full out, I stood for portions of the musaf service but not the whole thing, and I was able to say the final kaddish for my father.
It meant so much to me to be able to remember my dad in the context of my community. I had missed the end of the eleven months of saying kaddish for a parent while in the hospital, and knowing that I could mark the moment with my synagogue community was fulfilling. I started to cry a bit and realized that I had to focus on saying the words of the kaddish as well as remembering Dad.
Then after serivces Rik escorted me to a table and brought me a plate of egg salad, part of a bagel nd a small brownie, all I could eat. People came up to visit with me for at least an hour. All in all, going to shul was a tonic for my soul!
In the afternoon I visited with K while Rik took the first nap of the spring/summer in his hammock. Then I took a snooze, we ate some leftovers for dinner and went to the grocery store for a few things. What an exciting Saturday night! I was thrilled to be able to go out twice in one day.
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