After one week, no fewer than 12 phone calls, escalation to managers, 12.5 hours on hold and four broken promises to "call right back," my AT&T DSL service was finally restored last Thursday. (If my doctors and I had been this inept at diagnosing and treating my mantle cell lymphoma, I'd be pushing up daisies now.)
AT&T promised me Thursday morning that the DSL would be working by 8 pm. Like magic, it was up and running at 7:45. Of course, the "magic" involved 2.5 hours of my time on the phone with three different reps. My mantra, repeated at least 23 times, was, "My service was disconnected in error. I will stay on this line until it is fixed."
But do you want to hear the most painful part of this entire process? Saying goodbye to the reps. After I've been on hold with someone for an hour or two, I don't need a long, drawn-out goodbye. I just wanna' hang up. But, in the name of good customer service, AT&T has to keep me on the line for an additional five minutes.
AT&T: I will transfer you now to a customer specialist who will be able to help you.
Me: Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it.
AT&T: Thank you for choosing AT&T. We appreciate your business. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Me: No thank you.
AT&T: Do you have any questions?
Me: Just one. When are you going to transfer me?
AT&T: It's been a pleasure doing business with you.
Me: Yea, yea, yea
AT&T: You may receive a phone call asking you to rate your service experience. I hope that I have done everything possible to serve you.
Me: (Under breath - I do not have anything good to say about you or anyone at AT&T because you disconnected my service in error and can't get it reconnected and now could you PLEASE let me go.) Yes, thank you.
AT&T: Thank you for being a valued AT&T customer. Have a great day!
You say goodbye, I say hell(o).
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