After spending more than 12 hours in bed, I awoke today to sunshine and warmer temperatures. Given that I'm a basically balanced person, this should help me return to some equilibrium after yesterday's news about brain mets.
I cried myself to sleep yesterday (after taking some Ativan so I wouldn't stress too much). But in my grief and fear, I remembered that one of the women in my cancer support group has had metastatic breast cancer almost as long as I have, and she's had brain mets almost all that time. I need to talk with C and find out what treatments she's had.
The other thing Dr G did yesterday was administer a longer gross neurological test. He always does the same things: close your eyes and hold your arms out palm up, push against me, pull me toward you. Yesterday he added touch your finger to my finger, then to your nose, then to my finger again (both hands); stand up and hold your arms out palm up; etc. At the end he said my cerebellum appears fine. So my worries of immediate brain difficulties were eased.
For today, I am going to walk the dog, run some errands, get caught up on email, write a talk for this Sunday's synagogue annual meeting, and finish some ironing. Maybe watch a little TV while I iron. I plan to go to rehearsal tonight and basically live as normal a life as I can while we figure out what to do next.
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