Time to parler that Frainch

The New York Times says that we're better organized and more focused if we speak two languages. There’s a system in your brain, the executive control system. It’s a general manager. Its job is to keep you focused on what is relevant, while ignoring distractions. It’s what makes it possible for you to hold two different things in your mind at one time and switch between them, cognitive neuroscientist Ellen Bialystok told the Times.

--illustration from here

The catch is you must be truly bilingual--and not just put in a mot here and there. Bilinguals staved off Alzheimer's for four or five years, and they were better able to multi-task. You can argue that multi-tasking is our problem, that we need to breathe, slow down and do one thing at a time, rather than two things a la fois. I am so happy when I'm speaking French. Should I strive to become truly bilingual? And in French rather than Spanish, which more of my fellow Americans speak? But for those of you who are thinking of speaking another language more often or studying another language--vas-y!

I had trouble finding a good bilingual image. Let me know if you have some better ones.

Pain relief

I finally got adequate pain relief today. While waiting to get Avastin and Abraxane, the current chemo combo, I spoke on the telephone with Dr G. He decided to treat me with Lidoderm (lidocaine trasndermal5% topical patches. These are patches that distribute medication directly through your skin. The fentanyl patches are similar.

The wonderful pharmacist at the Cancer Institute, Lanny (I don't know how to spell his name), walked over to deliver the box of 30 patches to me. Our insurance coverage through Premera charged only $20 for this medication. I put one on in the middle of treatment at Dr G's request to see how well it might work while I was still in the chemo chair. Evidently the Lidoderm works extremely well, because Rik and I had a busy afternoon.

We went to the new Skillet Diner for lunch. It was not as good as I had hoped. My hamburger, ordered medium with a specific request for pink on the inside, not red, arrived overcooked and dry. There are few chances to eat poutine in Seattle, and I always jump at the chance (and am usually disappointed). Poutine is three things: fried potatoes, gravy and fresh squeaky cheese curds. The fries were terrific! The gravy, made with chicken stock, had plenty of herbs. But given that the local Beecher's makes really good cheese curds, I was disappointed to find melted cheddar cheese on Skillet's poutine. Maybe they think Seattleites don't know or care about authentic poutine?

Here's a shot of my poutine.
At least it came as a side to the burger and so wasn't an enormous helping.

After lunch, we picked up some bagels at Eltana. A tragedy was averted just in time -- we had run out of bagels this morning!

Nordstrom was having their half-yearly sale for women, and I really wanted to stop by while I had Rik to drive me. I did find a cute pair of black flats at a really good price. They might be a half-size too big, though, and I'd have to go to Alderwood Mall to find the smaller size. I will wait and see. Of course, while we were at the mall, I shlepped Rik into Macy's where there was also a sale, and I picked up a summer belt patterned in small squares of colors and a new purse, again in multiple colors patchworked together. It was a lot of shopping, but Rik was gracious about taking me, and I found such lovely things at good prices. Rik is the one who found the purse, and it is truly a keeper!

We came home and I watered the garden (we had two days of sunshine in a row!) while Rik mowed the lawn. Then I made us dinner of spinach and mushroom enchiladas suizas, rice and sliced fresh mango.

It's now after 9 PM and I am done for the night. I just took off the 12 mcg Fentanyl patch (it had been on for 72 hours) and removed today's Lidoderm patches. It hurt to remove them!, but we will see if I maintain good pain control overnight with the bedtime doses of valacyclovir and gabapentin. I will report to Dr G that I removed the small dose Fentanyl patch.

It felt totally terrific to be this busy for the first time in a week. I haven't cooked a meal in more than five days, ran an errand or driven the car in more than a week, or even been off the sofa this much in ten days. I know I may have overdone things (that's the trouble with pain patches, you feel good so you don't realize you do still have pain and it's easy to do too much). I may pay the price tomorrow, but there is only one item on my agenda, and I can do it from home if need be.

Time for a good night's sleep!

Sunday Folklife update

I hada wonderful time at Folklife today. As I read in this morning's Seattle Times, one of the highlights to look for today was Radost. (Too bad for Radost fans that the newspaper got the time wrong, but it was not printed correctly in the Folklife schedule, and I assume that's where they got the information.)

Although we arrived 90 minutes before the set began, there was no time allocated for a sound check for Orkestar RTW and Dunava (I guess we weren't as important as some of the other groups). We did our own rehearsing, dancers, singers and musicians together, in the large amphitheatre-type room we were  assigned to for a dressing room. Then as we were called to places, waiting in the stage right wing, someone said, "This is what it's supposed to be like." It was a perfectly true sentiment, and sadly, only those of us who had performed in large ensembles could relate to it.

Our first number went off without a hitch, despite no sound check. Dunava actually opened the entire all-Bulgarian concert with our powerful rendition of Zheni me mamo and Sevedelino malaj mome. In the hour between our first and second sets, I went outside for a late lunch with two other Dunavites. The concert had already begun, and there were more than 100 people standing in line.

After an hour or so we performed our second set. This piece had even more resonance of "the way it's supposed to be." The dancers flew around the stage, we sang with great verve, and the musicians were whisking us all away. I simply couldn't resist the impulse to yip throughout the piece. Yipping with excitement was a signature part of my performance experience. The full house was very dark, but I could see the reflection of the dancers in the light booth's glass windows.

It was an emotional moment for me. I teared up over the excitement of sharing the stage with all of Radost, remembering when it was me flying through the air, and yet still performing this ethnic material I love.

All in all it was a long day, and I hit the "wall" and had to go home to crash. Much as I wanted to go to the big Balkan dance tonight, I was too pooped to do so. Remember, I asked to be able to perform at Folklike, not participate in all its other aspects. And perform I did, and well too, I hope.

Photos coming soon, I promise. Tomorrow is chemo day, and if I am feeling well enough, I will download the images Rik took and post a few pics.

Hair

Just a really quick note to say that I still have hair. Indeed, I still have all, if not most, of my newly curly hair. Every day in the shower as I rub shampoo or conditioner around my head, I notice that a more hairs appear on my hands than usual -- maybe 20 hairs each time I rub my scalp. All the popular sites (i.e. not medical ones) say that the average person loses up to 100 hairs per day. Still, I do not appear to be losing much hair to the Abraxane and hope that if anything hair-oriented has to happen, my hair will thin but I won't lose it all.

This popular eHow site says this about hair loss for the average person:


How Much Hair Does the Average Person Lose a Day?

By Lexa W. Lee, eHow Contributor

As your hair grows, you routinely shed it. The average person loses up to to 100 hairs a day. Normally, new hair grows to replace what you lose.

Growth and Loss 

A single hair typically grows less than half an inch each month, for a total period of a few years. Then it falls out, and new hair replaces it.

Hair Loss Factors 

How much hair you lose each day depends on factors such as how many active hair follicles your scalp has and how fast your hair grows. The more follicles you have and the faster it grows, the more hair you will lose.

Other Factors 

Genetics play a role in hair loss, as does your nutrition, health and stress level.

Reasons for Excess Hair Loss

You may lose more hair than normal (telogen effluvium) due to serious illness, major surgery, inadequate protein intake, childbirth, and medications including antidepressants, retinoids, beta blockers. You may also notice more hair loss from other areas of your body.

Excess Loss Not Permanent 

Excess hair loss usually decreases gradually after the problem is corrected. The amount you lose declines during a six- to eight-month period.

Lexa W. Lee, a writer based in New Orleans, has freelanced for 20 years. Her clients have included WebMD, EverydayHealth.com, "Self", "Central Nervous System News", "Journal of Naturopathic Medicine," and TennisDiary.com. She has a Bachelor of Science in Biology from Reed College, a naturopathic medical degree from National College of Naturopathic Medicine, and was a postdoctoral researcher in immunology.

More on Folklife Saturday

I was sorry not to attend Dunava's special workshop with Tzvetanka yesterday, but my afternoon dose of painkillers (even taken early, at 330 PM) did NOTHING to address my pain. I would not have been able to sit down, much less concentrate on singing, just like my experience on Friday night at our rehearsal with Tzvwtanka, and those were songs I knew ALREADY!

I remember I said to Dr G my goal was to perform at Folklife. He said the same. I never mentioned the workshop, the big concert that continues for several hours after we perform, or Sunday night's  Balkan dance. In my experience, you get what you put out to the universe. I probably should have mentioned the other things, but I didn't want to overload my requests to the system.

I basically got into my pajamas Saturday afternoon and tried to ignore my pain. I have to come up with a better daytime pain management plan. I slept well last night (of course I took a dose of gabapentin at bedtime), but there was a big gap of pain coverage yesterday between 3 and 11 PM. Maybe I should call my doc today at home instead of waiting for when I talk to him during Monday's chemo.

I would like to be able to stay for the rest of this afternoon's Bulgarian concert, and I would like to dance at the big Balkan dance tonight. .... sigh ....

Folklife!

We had a great time at the NW Folklife Festival this afternoon. I woke up at 7 AM feeling fine, took some gebapentin for pain control and some valacyclovir, then went back to sleep. We got up for real at 9:00. After a big waffle breakfast, Rik walked the dog for his usual Saturday two miles while I got ready for the Dunava performance.

We had a quick run-through in the Center House lobby and were in place back stage early. Our guest artist was late and so even though we thought we could start our set early, we ended up beginning right on time and had so much material that we ended up cutting one song. (Folklife is sticky about starting and ending on time.) The audience was very responsive and I think it was a good performance. I will try to post some video Rik shot.

After our set, I was very hungry for lunch. We met up with friends and decided everyone should get their own favorite food and gather on the International Fountain to eat. Rik and I ended up with Indian food from a restaurant we often go to (but we're not sure it's the same place, so I don't want to say the name). I had chicken masala over rice and salad with plenty of  extra sauce on the side. Rik enjoyed a chicken kebab over rice. Prices at the food booths have definitely gone up over the years - each plate came to $8, and Rik's mango lemonade was $3.

We caught up with friends in the sunshine, talking about shingles, gamma knife treatment, and other and sundry physical health issues. Then the women decided to shop before getting dessert.

We browsed through most of the market. C bought shoes; Rik and C bought a Folklife t-shirt; G looked for a cool pair of earrings but no dice. As we parted company (some to stay and dance, others to crash), Rik and I noticed three hatters in one general area. I bought a terrific rusty brown raffia hat which is size adjustable. I think it will be prefect for shul this summer. My dessert was a chocolate mousse crepe with caramel sauce and whipped cream; Rik got a friut smoothie.

I had taken the next dose of pain meds and antivirals at 3 PM. Even so, I was completely steeped in pain and cancelled on the 4-6 PM workshop we had with our guest artist from Bulgaria. There is no way I could have learned new music while feeling uncontrolled pain.

Perhaps I am being overly sympathetic to my doctor, but I don't feel that this is enough of an issue to disturb his Shabbat rest. I will take the third doses of everything at bedtime,  which should give me a good night's sleep. If Sunday's pain is again unmanageable around 3 PM, I can call Dr G's answering service. Plus I will speak with him on Monday when I go in for treatment. You can be sure I will report these afternoon tough spots and ask for an increase in the gabapentin (neurological pain med).

Tomorrow's schedule includes showing up on time for the Radost concert sound check and being ready to sing at 3 PM. Dunava opens the show with two very short Bulgarian songs; then we accompany the Radost dancers for one number. About an hour later, we accompany the dancers for a second number. Given how I feel this afternoon, I think I will end up at home Sunday afternoon; maybe call Dr G to get his take on pain; and if I feel better, come back for the big Balkan dance Sunday night. This is a perpetual favorite dance and I will forward to seeing friends from all over at it. Hopefully I will see them tomorrow!

in translation

The cancer centre has implemented something new. When patients check in for treatment, we're asked to fill out a questionnaire related to our well-being (it has some acronym but I can't remember it). We're given the option of filling it in on a central computer but I'm really squeamish about germy public terminals. I always ask to fill the thing in manually (furthering my feeling that I am more of a Luddite than some of my seniors).

Filling out the form involves reading statements such as "I am in pain" and then circling a number between 1 (no pain) and 7 (excruciating pain - or something like that). Most of my numbers were very low except for the ones about my emotional well being and sleep habits. My answers resulted in the following conversation with the well-meaning nurse who checked me in for treatment:

Nurse: 

"You're depressed. Why?"

Me: 

"I'm just a little blue. Five years of doing this is a long time." (Translation: "I'm pissed off and fed up and I have survivors' guilt.") 

"I'm seeing someone at the psychosocial oncology centre." (Translation: "I don't want to talk about it with you, in front of the all the strangers in the room"). 

"The crisis is over and now it's all hitting me." (Translation: "I think I have PTSD. Did I mention that I'm pissed off and fed up?")

Next time, I'm stuffing the damn form into the bottom of my purse.

New and In Stock: St. Feuillien and Green Flash Collaboration

New in stock: St. Feuillien and Green Flash Biere De L'Amitie Collaboration Ale

Back in stock: The Bruery Trade Winds and Orchard White, Grand Teton Lost Continent, Allagash Victor and Victoria

kitchen conversation (he's so, so right)

My spouse (after listening to lengthy rant #342 yesterday): "Not to excuse that person's bad behaviour, but a lot of things piss you off these days."

Me: "True."

Spouse: "Oh! We forgot to put the compost out!"

Me: (String of expletives, unprintable in a blog my children might read).

Spouse (Meaningful silence)

Then we both burst out laughing.

I need to get some perspective.

But at least I can still laugh at myself.

Gilda's Club Fashion Show

I will model at the Gilda's Club fashion show next week. I've been active at Gilda's Club Seattle for about eight years and am a Friday yoga regular. Please consider attending or supporting this very worthy cause with a donation. 

Having trouble viewing all the details below? Click here to go straight to online registration.

DON'T MISS OUT ON THE BEST SHOW IN TOWN!  IT WILL INSPIRE YOU AND TOUCH YOUR HEART. Tables of 10 are $1,500... single tickets are $150.  Put a group together for an afternoon to remember!      14th Annual Fashion Show & Luncheon DATE:June 3, 2011 TIME:11:30am - 1:30pm LOCATION: The Westin Seattle ::MAP MORE:Visit our website for more information or to purchase tickets    Featured Models Magarita Andrijic :: Judi Best :: Kathy Burdick :: Delaney Clark :: Jill Cohen :: Sara Cottrell :: Louisa Cryan :: Stacy Eckert :: Jaymee Espinueva :: Steffanie Fain :: Carol Gaouette :: Doneen Jasman :: Jesse Jones :: Victoria Kemery :: Amy Lanum :: Joanie Mass :: Camari Olson :: Norma Phillips :: Mario Prieto :: Pete & Jill Robertson :: Sherrill Slichter :: Lucho Singh :: Mike Walter :: Reba Weiss :: Jenni Whitney Boutiques Scheduled to Appear Alexandra's :: Barneys New York :: Betty Lin :: Brooks Brothers :: Catherine's Plus Sizes :: Champagne Taste :: Eileen Fisher :: Endless Knot :: Jack Straw :: Karan Dannenberg :: La Belle  Elaine's Bridal :: Mario's :: Opal :: Papillon :: Piazza Sempione :: Ragamoffyn's Road :: Rottles :: Sears :: Tatters :: THE FINERIE :: Via Lago

book club

I'm blogging more because I have no one to talk to here.

spending my nights in quiet solitude, which is so refreshing after living at the beach house and never having a minute to myself.

finished Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther and collected poems

now starting the Bell Jar again... this is perhaps the 5th or 6th time I've read it (typical, right?). I figure it's fitting for a lonely summer in New York. The only other book I've read as many times (once a year practically) is Jens Peter Jacobson's "Neils Lyhne", although I think I've grown out of his idealism.

I didn't have the energy or concentration to read during treatment, which is partially why we wanted to make a comic book. It's easy on the chemo-brain :)

have you read anything good lately?


oh yeah... my birthday is in 2 days; I will be the ripe old age of 26.

generation gap

On Tuesday, as I waited at the Heart Institute for my regular echocardiogram, I had the following brief conversation with the older gentleman sitting beside me.

Me: Is that a Playbook?

Him: I don't play! This is an ipad!

Me: Oh. I was just curious about the Blackberry version of the tablet.

Him  (scornfully): Do you have a Blackberry?

Me: I do.

I didn't bother explaining that I don't find touch screens to be intuitive and that I prefer an actual keyboard for sending emails and texting. Instead, I pulled out my knitting, thus eradicating all doubt that I was the Luddite in our conversation.

Shingles

Believe it or not, this is good news!

I called Dr G this morning about a rash that appeared overnight on my leg and he said to come in before the MRI scheduled for this afternoon. One look, that's all it took -- shingles!

When combined with the kind and spread of pain I'd been complaining about all week, the appearance of red vesicles (rash) enabled him to out all the pieces together. He immediately cancelled the MRI and started me on valacyclovir and gabapentin.

It will take quite a few days for the infection to clear up and perhaps longer for the pain to reduce. Gabapentin will also make me tired and I shouldn't operate machinery (i.e. drive a car) while taking it. I will stay on the fentanyl patches also, since one is supposed to increase the gabapentin slowly to a maximum of three per day.

I had chicken pox as a child and the odds favor that I have carried it around in my body ever since. There's little doubt low immune counts from the chemo caused me to be more susceptible to a flare up. That's also why I couldn't have the shingles vaccination. It's a live virus vaccine and would have put me at risk to develop shingles, which I did anyway.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website says,

Shingles cannot be passed from one person to another. However, the virus that causes shingles, the varicella zoster virus, can be spread from a person with active shingles to a person who has never had chickenpox. In such cases, the person exposed to the virus might develop chickenpox, but they would not develop shingles. The virus is spread through direct contact with fluid from the rash blisters, not through sneezing, coughing or casual contact.

A person with shingles can spread the virus when the rash is in the blister-phase. A person is not infectious before blisters appear. Once the rash has developed crusts, the person is no longer contagious.

Shingles is less contagious than chickenpox and the risk of a person with shingles spreading the virus is low if the rash is covered.

So I will cover my rash, swallow the huge valacyclovir pills (1 gram, the size of my thumb!), and hope the gabapentin controls the pain soonest, plus remember that shingles is NOT MORE CANCER.

New oddities

Bobka the dog perched on my right leg for about 20 minutes last night while I was relaxing before heading off to choir rehearsal. When he got up, the skin felt numb and it's stayed so throughout the day today. In addition, I noticed some small, red dots in a circular pattern in two locations on my right thigh. I called Dr G's office this morning and he is going to squeeze me in for a physical exam before today's scheduled MRI.

Again, we can't do anything to address brain mets until we get the pain under control.

This really sucks.

A Tornado Story

If you grow up in the Midwest, sooner or later you earn your own "tornado story." Here's my tornado story: When I was exactly one month old, a tornado hit Omaha. My parents lived in a trailer park at the time, so my mom threw me into the car (probably literally, because nobody knew about car seats in the Olden Times) and we raced to my great-grandmother's house and hid in her basement.

Here's Jay's tornado story: He and his dad went to see "Return of the Jedi" at the movie theater. The tornado sirens went off, so the theater owners stopped the movie, and everyone had to walk across the street to a bar and go down to the basement. I don't know if any of the adults took advantage of being in a bar. I would've.

And now, here's WCK's very own tornado story, recorded here for endless re-tellings: Today was the kindergarten field trip to the Kansas City Zoo. It started raining a little bit, so our group went into the lion building to eat our sack lunches. By the time we were done, it was raining a little more. And thundering. And then the tornado sirens went off. A zoo official came by and told us we couldn't stay in the lion building, because it wasn't safe. I guess that makes sense, because one wall was made entirely of glass, and there were, well, two lions on the other side. He told us we needed to get to the "boathouse", and he made it sound like it was just around the corner. It was not. Like everything in the Kansas City Zoo, it was far, far away. (Official Kansas City Zoo Motto: "You'll walk five miles between each animal, or your money back!") So we went out into the rain, and we ran. I'm glad I'm in halfway decent shape, because we ran and ran and ran, through the rain and the thunder and the lightning, with kindergartners screaming the entire way. Finally we made it to the shelter, which was crammed with people, and we waited out the storm for about 45 minutes. When we got the all-clear, we emerged into the sunshine, and everything was fine.

There is is. WCK's own tornado story. I'm glad she has one now, but I hope she never gets another one.

my heart soars on the streets of Brooklyn

(via josh derr flickr)

So, I am here, fucking finally, after 2 years of failed planning, doubt, and illness getting in my way. I mean, it's still in my way, but from now on I'm going to be that rude bitch on the street that just elbows past it, never even looking back or apologizing, because I HAVE SOMEWHERE I NEED TO BE. So there.

(It's taken me a very long time to get to this point.)

I've had a lot going on lately. A documentary crew, which I am forbidden to speak of, has been following me since late April. They even filmed my flight here with iceman. It's incredibly surreal and exhausting to be "on" 24/7. I'm doing this because I hope people will benefit from it in the same way as this blog; here is a girl you can relate to, whose had struggle and suffering and pain and is somehow stubborn enough to keep pursuing a dream, and most importantly, willing to let you into her life. Seriously, everyone is welcome. I invite you all to share my life with me. I feel it would be a waste if I didn't share it.

My health is stable right now. I'm currently on an oxycontin/codone regimen that works well enough. I'm not pain free, but I can get out of bed in the mornings. It does make me drowsy & I'm trying to get an rx for Nuvigil, which my doc said would combat the fatigue. Has anyone tried this? I worry that I won't have the stamina to work the normal 8-12 hour days required in the fashion industry. We'll see... I need to secure a JOB first, a task I am finding heartbreakingly difficult so far.

Keep trying, keep working, keep moving. Keep your chin up, kid. Many, many artists and writers that I admire struggled with countless rejections and few published works during their lifetime. The shared human experience is surprisingly consistent.

The comic is going well, I have left Jon with all of the final illustrations and we are preparing to finally send out backer prizes, yay! We are planning to release the 1st issue in conjunction with the airing of this "documentary series" who's name we dare not mention.

What else? I'm enjoying the beautiful weather and my working body, walking right foot, left foot, cognizant that I might not have the chance someday. Happy despite great faults. Hopeful to nurture new friendships and meet kindred spirits. and stuff.

that pretty much sums it up.

Pain update

Yesterday Dr G put me on 50 mcg fentanyl patch and 10 mg Torodol every 6 hours. This did not control my pain well enough and I call his office several times throughout the day, asking for suggestions on better pain management. Finally at about 6:30 PM he called me and changed the dosages to 100 mcg fentanyl patch, 10 mg Torodol every 3 hours and added 1 mg Ativan every 6 hours. Other than making me woozy, we hope this will control the breakthrough pain. It's been 45 minutes since I made the changes and am still waiting for pain relief. However, the Ativan is giving me a nice buzz.

I had to write down the dosing schedule to be sure I get it right this evening. My goal is to get the pain under control so I can sing with my choir this weekend at our two performances. That's Dr G's goal too. It's always good to be on the same page with your doc.

For those who live in the greater Seattle area, check out my choir Dunava at the NW Folklife Festival:

Saturday 5/28 at 12:50 PM in the Center House Theatre. Get there early to find seats, it's a small venue and we are the second or third group in the set.

Sunday 5/29 at 3 PM. We open the all Bulgarian concert with the Radost Folk Ensemble and Orkestar RTW. Again, arrive early to get good seats.

You can also hear Dunava on last year's limited edition CD, Roots and Branches: Live from the 2010 Folklife Festival. Copies will be for sale at the Folklife Store, in the Fidalgo Room at the corner of Republican Street and First Ave N, by the Key Arena.

Traveling for Breast Reconstruction - Help with Travel and Accommodation Costs

A growing number of breast cancer patients are now choosing to travel for their care, particularly for some of the more advanced breast reconstruction procedures. Insurance may cover the health care expenses but the cost of the hotel and air fare falls on the patient.

Now, some patients may qualify for financial assistance to cover these extra expenses thanks to two special programs:

Assistance with Air Travel Expenses

The American Cancer Society (ACS) Air Miles program is a joint effort between Mercy Medical Airlift (MMA)/National Patient Travel Helpline (NPATH) and the American Cancer Society. The program is designed to help patients with the cost of air fare when traveling for cancer-related treatment. Please call the ACS at (800) 227-2345 to find out if you are eligible for help with air travel. More information regarding the Air Miles program can be found here.

American Cancer Society (ACS) Accommodation Program

San Antonio hotels have partnered with the American Cancer Society to offer breast cancer patients accommodation at either low or no charge on a space-available basis. This program is for patients who receive treatment at least 50 miles from their place of residence. One caregiver is welcome to travel with the patient At least two weeks advance notice is usually required. The program only applies to lodging Monday through Thursday. We encourage patients living more than 50 miles from San Antonio to call the American Cancer Society on (877) 227-1618 for more information and to take advantage of this opportunity.

Hope that helps!

Dr C

*****

PRMA Plastic Surgery specializes in advanced breast reconstruction procedures that use the patient's own tissue. Procedures offered include the DIEP flap, SIEA flap, GAP flap, and TUG flap reconstruction. We are In-Network for most US insurance plans. Patients are routinely welcomed from across and outside the USA. Connect with other breast cancer reconstruction patients at www.facebook.com/PRMAplasticsurgery.

*****

Abraxane #3 plus comedy of errors

I was scheduled to have the third dose of Abraxane yesterday. I'd been complaining of low back pain and pain in my right leg all weekend, so on Monday I didn't feel dafe driving myself. What if I had more mets and was in danger of a fracture? I'd already been lucky the first time that I experienced the pathological fracture while at home and not walking the dog, driving the car, or out and about elsewhere.

So Rik drove me and I arrived extra early at 8 AM (for my 9:30 lab appointment). The lab saw me pretty quickly, but again there was a computer problem with the orders Dr G wrote and "signed" electronically while I was sitting in the room with him. The SCI nurse called his office more than a few times; his staff paged him but he didn't answer; and in the end it was almost 1 PM before they could start any of the treatment. Thankfully my friend T was there to keep me company the whole time. We got some lovely borscht and pieroshkies for lunch and eventually I got everything: Decadron the steroid, Zofran for nausea and Abraxane.

In the middle of all this I was of course still in pain. On Sunday I had taken the maximum permitted amount of Vicodin with really limited pain relief. On Monday to took two Vicodin at 8:30 Am and two more at 1:30 PM but the pain only got worse. Dr G wrote orders for morphine but I recalled that morphiine didn't help too much with pain last summer. So I ended up taking intravenous Dilaudid. Between that and a hot compress, my back pain soon eased.

The Dilaudid made feel both loopy and me nauseous and I vomited several times by the time I finished the Abraxane. So I got some Ativan for the nausea. T gave me a ride to Dr G, who wanted to see me about the pain issue. (Thankfully no vomiting in the car.) Rik met us there.

I explained all the Dr G and he sent me off for immediate spinal xrays. Given that it was 5 PM by this point and he couldn't reach an in-house radiologist, he viewed the films himself. There is an ambivalent area in my sacraum (where we already know I have mets). My pain was radiating from the lower right to the right leg and even making the skin tender to the touch, much in the way that pain from the sciatic nerve behaves. So it might be sciatica or it might be mets. Dr G wrote prescriptions for Fentanyl patches and for ketorolac (Toradol), a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory, and we went into the Minor and James pharmacy to get them.

While we were waiting, in runs Dr G. He'd reached a radiologist at Swedish hospital who confirmed that there was no danger of an immediate fracture (which would have been the reason not to send me home). He'd placed a call to my orthopedist, Daniel Flugstad, and promised to contact me today with Flugstad's take on things.

We had a mutual hug fest right there in the pharmacy -- Dr G hugs Rik, Rik hugs me, Dr G and I look tearfully into each other's eyes. No hugging, it's not frumkeit for unrelated men and women to touch outside of the doctor-patient examination. For him, not for me. But the tearful glances of relief more than make up for any lack of hugs.

Rik and I finally arrived home around 6:30 PM. I stuck the first Fentanyl patch on my arm, got undressed, ate a snack and went to bed. With Dilaudid, Ativan, and now Fentanyl in my system, I could barely stand upright. I slept well all night and woke up rested this morning.

And now for the latest news. I still have back pain. I wasn't sure at first, as it's been creeping up on me slowly all morning. I felt fine in the shower, eating breakfast, even walking the dog for a few blocks. But sitting at the computer typing and talking with the health insurance companies about bills, I've notived an increased in pain, even through the FEntanyl. So I took one of the ketorolac pills and will hope that takes care of any breakthrough pain.

I still don't have any more news about an appointment re gamma knife, but Dr G said his staff would take care of it. I learned this morning that Dr G has spoken with Dr Flugstad and am waiting for a call back from him with an update. I will, of course, report this morning's breakthrough pain. I called my primary care physican to keep her posted on all of the hoohah. And I will keep all of you posted as this comedy of errors continues.

The wonders of jagua

Jagua is a fruit-based temporary dye. It is not black henna, which is henna mixed with black hair dye, and can cause all sorts of nasty blistering and infection. No, jagua is no such animal. With a tube of jagua gel (and without using the little pointer tip until the end, because I was too lazy to go upstairs and look for it), I created a medusa on the top of N's new chemo-head. N is getting chemo, then surgery, then radiation. Then more surgery. I mention the lack of pointer tip, because without it, the gel came out too quickly and I think I wasted some jagua. In any case, it took a whole tube to form the medusa and snakes. This is how it looked when I finished:
I was copying freehand from a design and I think I made the medusa too friendly-looking. Here is how N looks from the front:

The pictures were taken when the ink was still wet. When the jagua dries, you peel it off and underneath it's like dark gray paint. It can last up to two weeks. When N sends me a photo of it after it's peeled off, I'll post it here.

Back Home

We are back from Washington DC....it was a busy vacation!  I had a list of things I wanted my family to see...the monuments, Union Station, Ebeneezer's Coffee shop, the National Zoo and botanical gardens adjacent to the Capitol....the last two are things I wanted to see on previous trips to DC but didn't have the time for.  Ebeneezer's coffee house is like a really nice Starbucks with a big basement that is used as a church.  It was formerly a crack house. Mark Batterson is the lead pastor there, and I've read most of his books.  I went to church in the basement on a previous visit.  Our current church is using his a s a model.  We saw the monuments twice; first on a 6 hour daytime tour that included lots of time at the monuments and an hour boat tour of the Potomic River.  We also went on a night tour when the monuments were lit up. 

I love DC trivia...there are no skyscrapers as there is a limit to the height of buildings (no new building may be more than 20 feet taller than the width of the street in front of it, or greater than 130 feet tall).  Because of that, many buildings have multiple levels of basements.  The Pentagon is the largest office building (I believe in the world).  It has 15 stories UNDER the building!  When I worked on Capitol Hill, many buildings had at least 5 underground floors.  Because they can't build up,space in DC is at a premium.  I haven't yet been at a hotel that has a pool.  An acre lot in DC goes for 10 million.  Union station is a train depot that used to be a mecca for the homeless and drug users.  The city remodeled it and now it's akin to a combination mall/train station with many restaurants and shops.  At Union Station there is a replica of the Liberty Bell...it was replicated to include a typo on the original Liberty Bell...Pennsylvania is spelled with only one N.

We had a bit of time the last day...I had no more that I had wanted my family to see, so I left it up to them to do what they wanted our last half day.  My daughter wanted to go to the National Archive...I'd never thought to go there.  It turned out it was amazing.  We saw the original hand-written Declaration  of Independence.  No computers or typewriters used then.  Pen (feather quill pens) on sheepskin parchment.  We also saw  the original Constitution and Bill of Rights.  I actually saw George Washington and Abraham Lincoln's signatures....Abraham Lincoln had beautiful handwriting! So many signatures of people I've learned of in history classes and books.  It made them seem real, history came to life.

And now I am officially 10 years cancer-free!

Dunava at Folklife

My choir, Dunava, hasn't been singing much in public lately, but we want you to know that yes, Dunava will be part of the 40th annual Northwest Folklife Festival in Seattle next weekend. This year, Folklife has a special focus on Bulgarian music and culture, and since that is right up our alley, we will present a mostly-Bulgarian program this year.

You can see us twice!

Saturday, May 28, from 12:50 - 1:15 p.m., in the Center House Theater (downstairs of the main stage/food court, by the Children's Museum). It's the same venue we've sung in in the past two years, and it gets packed! We definitely recommend coming early to get a seat. We're third in a line-up of four fabulous choirs; the first starts at 11:40 p.m. 

The amazing Bulgarian singer Tzvetanka Varimezova will join us on a couple of songs next weekend at Folklife. She's visiting from L.A. as a special guest of the festival, and as far as I know this is her first time performing in Seattle. We are very excited to have her share the stage with us!

And then, Sunday, May 29, from 3 - 6 p.m., is the "big Bulgarian concert" in Bagley Wright Theater, featuring artists from here and afar: Ruth Hunter, Mary Sherhart, Ethel Raim, Eva & Aurelia ("Ash"), the Radost Folk Ensemble, and Tzvetanka Varimezova and her family. Dunava will sing with Orkestar RTW to accompany the Radost dancers. Radost goes on first, so arrive early to get a seat for the 3 p.m. start.

What a great weekend ahead!

Remember: Folklife is free, but very much relies on the contributions of festival goers. So be sure to drop them a little (or big) contribution when you go, and ensure the longevity and fabulousness of this big event.

Dunava is Dina, Christi, Hila, Jill, Jody, Meg, Meredith, Ramona, Tedy, and Valerie.

Komen Race for the Cure

Okay, I registered for the Komen Race for the Cure. Despite the sea of pink and my issues with Komen's lower of support of research (25% of dollars raised locally) vs. focus on early detection (75%), Rik and I will walk with the Hadassah Heelers on June 5.

You can make a donation on my personal page by clicking here. 

Almost as soon as I posted the news to Facebook, I got a notice that I had already received one donation! Thank you M for your support. All others: I do really believe that there are better places to donate that fund larger dollar amounts and percentages to breast cancer research for a cure. (See my post Pinktober.) But Komen is the 600 pound gorilla of breast cancer advocacy, and they are worth supporting if indeed they can find a cure.

Especially in time for me to benefit from it.

has anybody seen my boob?

As anyone who has ever been to my house can attest, the place tends to be a total disaster pretty cluttered. We lose stuff all the time, only to find it months or even years later, after it's already been replaced.

But I have to admit that never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd find myself typing this sentence: 

I can't find my prosthetic breast.

We've actually been making some inroads in terms of beating back the clutter. But some rooms are getting worse before they get better. And our bedroom is complete tip.

Now admittedly, I don't wear my prosthesis all that often. But there are days when I want to fly below the radar. There are clothes that just look better when they're symmetrical. And I haven't seen my fake breast for weeks.

Could I have absent-mindedly stuck it in a drawer that I haven't checked?

Could it have become mixed up in the bags of clothing destined for donation?

Could it be under the mounds of clothes yet to be sorted?

Could I have left it somewhere?

It's a mystery.

If you find it, please let me know. 

Or just leave it in my mail box.



Update May 26: We found it! It was in a suitcase. In our bedroom. From a trip on which neither I nor the boob were in attendance. I think I took it off one night and too lazy tired to put it away, popped my bra with the boob still in it, in the open suitcase. Then, the suitcase was closed and left. Three weeks later, when my love finally unpacked - he found my prosthesis. Mystery solved.

Healthy Spirits: High Water Brewing Company

We are very happy to announce the arrival of two new beers from the High Water Brewing Company! We are one of the only two places in the city carrying this beer for the next week or two, so come and get it!

1. Hop Riot IPA

2. Retribution Imperial IPA

cheers,

dave hauslein

beer manager

415-255-0610

It is time for a change regarding LC

Random thoughts...


I need to publish post that only I can see

The different groups supporting LC need to pool shared resources while focusing on the unique areas

It is good for LC survivors together from time to time

BC (breast cancer) is not the enemy. I LOVE THE BOOBIES, THEY'RE NICE

Dissolving the stigma around LC is key to improving the survivability of a LC diagnosis

END OF THE WORLD SALE!

In celebration of the coming Judgment Day, the following beers are $1 off. This sale is good until May 21 at 11PM, or whenever the sun explodes.

1. Lost Abbey Inferno

2. Lost Abbey Judgment Day

3. Unibroue La Fin Du Monde

4. Midnight Sun Fallen Angel

5. Avery The Beast

6. Avery Mephistopheles

7. Avery Samaels

8. Old Mephisto Barleywine

9. Gudelos Imperial Stout

Hope everyone enjoys the apocalypse!

dave hauslein

beer manager

415-255-0610

Middle of the night reflections

I was so tired last night but found it hard to relax and fall asleep. I took a Vicodin for back pain and Ativan for stress reduction, and while I was waiting for everything to kick in, my mind wandered over many topics.


I remembered the day we lost Pumpkin, how stressed we were that we didn't help him faster and so he had to suffer, because I had to go to chemo early in the morning before we could take him to the vet. I imagined Pumpkin and the Kitzel and even Dunky my childhood dog all running to greet me as I crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

I thought of my dear friend Charisse z"l, whose yahrzeit is coming up in a couple of weeks, and how much I miss her company and would have benefited from her wisdom while going through cancer treatment all these years. The night Charisse died, her husband told me he was cuddled in the hospital bed with her. At one point she sat straight up and said out loud, "I have faith!" When he awoke the next time, she had died. She knew she was dying (we had spoken only days before to say goodbye).  I wish I knew what Charisse meant, what she had faith in.

I recalled the Red Queen from Lewis Carroll's "Through the Looking Glass," who raced so fast just to stay in place. It's like dancing with cancer. You have to keep moving as fast as you can just to stay on  top of it.

"Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else — if you run very fast for a long time, as we've been doing."

"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"

To those of you who say to me that I always seem so on top of things, I always reply that's because you don't see me when I get the middle of the night heebie-jeebies. Well, this is what the middle of the night is like. Even Rik and Bobka the dog, who were sound asleep next to me, didn't know what was going on.

Eventually I relaxed from all the drugs and fell asleep. I hope to get to yoga today, and will focus on the relaxation pieces. The sun is shining yet again (three days in a row!), I have a few more plants to put into the garden, and I hope a nap is also in my future.

Brain mets update

I ran into Dr G while dropping off a form at his office, just long enough to say hello. His wonderful nurse Jacque told me that Dr G had spoken with Dr Stephen Eulau, my radiation oncologist. I called Dr Eulau and he said that he thought I'd be a good candidate for gamma knife.

Why gamma knife? Because it's supposed to be more effective at pinpoint treatment inside the brain. (Evidently cyber knife is better for other lesions in the body, such as in the liver.) I asked Dr Eulau what he thought about treating my liver mets with gamma or cyber knife and he recommended I speak to the specialists when I see them.

So hopefully I will set up an appointment soon, ask my questions, and be considered a good candidate for this very high tech treatment.

On another front, when I got home and let Bobka out, he limped back inside, favoring his left front paw. Many of you remember when Pumpkin's leg broke last June, the day before I was scheduled for chemo. The poor dog lay in his bed all day Monday until we got home from the Cancer Institute and once the vet diagnosed a pathological fracture, likely related to a metastasized sarcoma, we had to decide to euthanize him immediately. It was a terrible day.

I was so freaked out by Bob's limping that I called the vet, got an immediate appointment, carried him to the car and drove over. The vet examined him carefully and said he might have torced his leg while romping outside or even been stung by a bee, causing him to favor the leg. At any rate, she said there was no reason to suspect a fracture or anything more serious, gave Bob all the treats he could munch on, and sent us home with some doggy anti-inflammatories and the suggestion to keep him quiet for a day or so, monitor the limp, and if it doesn't improve, call her again.

This one incident caused my anxiety level to rise dramatically. I'm not normally anxious, but my heart was racing and I felt extremely stressed and barely able to cope. I've taken some Ativan and will try to get a nap, or at least try to relax. While I may feel as though I am handling the brain mets news, clearly at some level it bugs me tremendously and that came through in my concern over Bobka.

Grownup games

Jay and I have a stack of old board games that I keep on the top shelf in WCK's closet because I don't know where else to put them. WCK has been fascinated with these games, but she doesn't want to play them or even look at them close up, because she can see that they're only for "grownups." Most of them have labels on the side that clearly say "Ages 9 and up" or "Ages 7 and up." Grownups.

A few of them, however, are labeled "Ages 6 and up", and in the days leading up to her sixth birthday, WCK could not stop talking about how she was finally going to be old enough to play some of the "grownup games." She proclaimed that this would happen on her sixth birthday, and not one day before.

WCK turned six on Tuesday. Sure enough, the second she opened her eyes in the morning, she asked me to get the grownup games down from the shelf. I got down "Aggravation" and another game called "Ghost" that Jay had as a kid. A good time was had by all.

Only two more years until she'll allow herself to play Monopoly. I can't wait!

"none of us knows when we are going to die"

On April 25th, Alaina Giordano lost custody of her children. A North Carolina judge ruled that her two kids need to move to Chicago to live with Giordano's ex-husband. She based this decision, in large part, on the fact that Giordano has Stage 4 breast cancer.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I can't be articulate about this story, except to say that I work very hard to make sure that my kids will be all right- no matter what happens. I wish I could protect them and all those who love me from the realities of cancer. But do I think that cancer makes me a less fit parent?

Not on your life.

Want to read more?

I first read about this on BlogHer, where Jenna argued very articulately that anyone who has ever been ill or ever might be should care about this story and the frightening precedent it has set.

My friend Judy (from Mothers With Cancer) wrote a beautiful response called "We Are All Terminal." 

You can read Alaina's own words on her blog, Beauty in Truth.

I couldn't find a single post or comment by anyone who agreed with the judge's ruling.

For that, I'm grateful.

Healthy Spirits: New Arrivals

1. Brew Dog Punk IPA 4 packs

2. Anderson Valley Summer Solstice Cans

3. New Belgium "Lips of Faith" Super Cru

4. Uerige Sticke Altbier

5. Yoho Aooni IPA cans (Japan)

6. Yoho Tokyo Black Porter cans (Japan)

7. Yoho Yona Yona Pale Ale cans (Japan)

8. Fullers 1845 Ale

9. St. Peter's India Pale Ale

10. Moosbacher Kellerbier

11. New Hitachino Nest Glassware

12. John Henry 3 Lick Spiker Ale (American Strong Ale aged with bourbon soaked oak chips)

13. Baladin Nora

14. Luficer Glassware

15. Reissdorf Kolsch Glassware

cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

Check out this website

My sister turned me on to this website on brain metastases related to breast cancer. It feels kind of technical but appears to have good information.

A sunny morning helps

After spending more than 12 hours in bed, I awoke today to sunshine and warmer temperatures. Given that I'm a basically balanced person, this should help me return to some equilibrium after yesterday's news about brain mets.

I cried myself to sleep yesterday (after taking some Ativan so I wouldn't stress too much). But in my grief and fear, I remembered that one of the women in my cancer support group has had metastatic breast cancer almost as long as I have, and she's had brain mets almost all that time. I need to talk with C and find out what treatments she's had.

The other thing Dr G did yesterday was administer a longer gross neurological test. He always does the same things: close your eyes and hold your arms out palm up, push against me, pull me toward you. Yesterday he added touch your finger to my finger, then to your nose, then to my finger again (both hands); stand up and hold your arms out palm up; etc. At the end he said my cerebellum appears fine. So my worries of immediate brain difficulties were eased.

For today, I am going to walk the dog, run some errands, get caught up on email, write a talk for this Sunday's synagogue annual meeting, and finish some ironing. Maybe watch a little TV while I iron. I plan to go to rehearsal tonight and basically live as normal a life as I can while we figure out what to do next.

selfish (dear loved one)

I'm sorry that my fear becomes yours.

I regret that you get pulled into my panic.

I feel ill when my every cough, ache or bump twists your insides the way it does mine.

I would prefer to protect you.

I want to watch you smile, hear your laugh, feel your heart thump with joy when you pull me to your chest.

I don't want to make you scared, or sad or worried.

But I can't wish you weren't ever scared or sad or worried.

Because I need to share.

Because I need not to feel alone.

Because I need you.

Brain mets

Possibly one of the scariest things a patient can hear (after "You have cancer" and before "There's nothing else we can do for you") are the words brain metastases.

Last week's brain MRI showed three lesions in my right cerebellum. They don't behave definitively like cancer, but as the radiologist who read the scan said to Dr G, what else could they be?

So the feeling stupid, making typos and feeling not-quite-vertigo were worth reporting and not related solely to starting the new chemo combo or tapering off the antidepressant (which it looks like I will need to start again anyway).

It's going to take me some time to wrap my head around this news. Here are the brief things I know so far:

1) I will see my radiation oncologist, Stephen Eulau, to get his opinion on whether or not I should have cyber knife or gamma knife treatments. Since these are about $80,000 per lesion, and I have three lesions, the insurance company may not cover the procedure, which Swedish does perform (cyber knife).

2) Dr G is against whole brain radiation, which he says will leave me feeling much more stupid, and prone to make many more typing errors, than I feel now.

3) I will continue on the Abraxane for one more week, and next week's labs will also test a sample of CA 27.29, my tumor marker. If the tumor marker shows a decline, then we might continue the Abraxane/Avastin combo. If it continues to go up, then Dr G will consider changing to Xeloda, an oral chemotherapy which he believes is more proven to cross the blood/brain barrier.

The active drug in Xeloda, 5 FU, is the one that put me in the hospital in 2009 with severe infections. However, if I'm monitored more closely, and given a lower oral dose, instead of a larger intravenous dose, it might not prove so toxic.

Like I said, this is a lot to digest. I'm going to bed now and will write more tomorrow. Those of you who live nearby and want to talk, I'm just not up for it now, but Rik might be.

Abraxane 2/ Avastin 2

Yesterday was another six-hour-long day at the Cancer Institute. One of the doctors was back from a week's vacation and so the lab was hugely busy, even at 9:30 in the morning. After waiting more than an hour, I finally had my port accessed and labs drawn. More than an hour after that, I was called back to the infusion chair, where eventually the nurse confirmed with Dr G that my counts, although a smidge low, still permitted me to receive treatment.

My friend G had been visiting with me until this point, and then another friend came by. We shmoozed while waiting for the pharmacy to prepare my drugs. I ordered us some luch from Mediterranean Kitchen, which J was happy to pick up.

I started the Avastin infusion around 1 PM, and it ended around 2:15 PM. (Next time the Avastin will shorten to only 30 minutes, which is where it will stay.) Then we changed over to the Abraxane (the actual chemo), which only takes 30 minutes. I was unbuckled from the chair around 3:15 and went home to crash.

I slept for three hours on the sofa, at which point I decided to just get into bed. I thought this cocktail was being given with Decadron (a steroid) AND Zofran (an anti-nausea drug), but evidently I didn't get the Zofran the first time, and there were no orders for it this time. So I toughed it out, but I was nauseous by 6 PM. I took some of the oral Zofran I have at home, and will be sure to ask Dr G today about including it in future orders.

I got up again at 9:30 and ate a piece of pizza and drank some water, then went back to bed. I was really woozy walking around the house last night, which was likely due to all the drugs floating in my bloodstream. I experienced a little abdominal pain, which is associated with the Avastin, but nothing else.

I slept until 7:45 this morning and feel better today. I took the dog for a walk and am about to head off to see Dr G and get last week's the brain MRI results. Will post more when I have info.

Pregnant and diagnosed with cancer--not the end of the world?

CNN
reported this morning about women who survived chemo while pregnant and gave birth to healthy babies. Usually, it's simply a terrible accident of timing: The pregnancy has nothing to do with the cancer's emergence.

You might be thinking that higher hormone levels are causing cancer at this time, but CNN reports that studies show that pregnant women are more likely to have hormone-receptor negative tumors than hormone-receptor positive tumors--meaning they are not fed by pregnancy's higher levels of estrogen and progesterone.

Sam is risen!

Our poor betta fish, Sam, passed away unexpectedly on Friday evening. He was fine all day, but when we got home from WCK's drama club play he was swimming funny. Not "Ha Ha" funny -- more like, "Oh, crap" funny. It was pretty obvious that a host of fish angels were beckoning him toward The Light. When the end came, we wrapped him in a paper-towel shroud and buried him in the back yard next to our first ill-fated betta fish, Jimmy John. WCK found a rock to mark the grave.

I do appreciate Sam choosing such a convenient time to die, as I won't have to find fish sitters all summer, but I will miss the little guy. He was the crankiest fish I've ever seen. Whenever you looked at him, he'd puff up his gills and try to attack you. He was like a grumpy old man fish. He was awesome.

Sunday morning, I stepped outside onto our deck for a second to check on our bird feeder, and I saw a horrible/miraculous sight in the yard. Sam's grave was empty. The paper towel shroud lay on the grass. The rock had been pushed away.

Was this the work of a neighborhood cat or some kind of a fish miracle? I would like to point out that he did die on a Friday night.

Whatever the cause of the open grave, I knew I had to run out there and fix it before WCK found out, not necessarily because I didn't think she could handle the truth, but more because I didn't want to spend the next day/weeks/months re-explaining and re-explaining and re-explaining what had probably happened to Sam. (Those of you with five-year-olds know exactly what I mean.)

I ran across the yard in my church clothes, snatched up the paper-towel shroud, and fixed the grave as well as I could. I threw the shroud in the garbage, and I'm not 100 percent sure that his little carcass was gone from the inside of the shroud. I didn't check, because I was a little creeped out. WCK was none the wiser. Now we can officially add "Covering up defiled graves" to my long list of Mom Duties.

Vacation!

We are leaving for Washington DC tomorrow, our latest family vacation.  I'm glad we do that,we have a tradition of taking a week every year to go somewhere else as a family.  My kids are adults now, but still like our family time.  Lots of adventures!

Washington DC was my idea.  I've been there twice...once for an AACR conference and once to work on Capitol Hill with the PEW Foundation.  I'd never wanted to go to DC...no interest in politics or history, but the first time I went for the AACR conference, I fell in love with the city.  There are so many stories and so much trivia about the city that is fascinating. Twenty Smithsonian museums, all free.  It's a beautiful and clean city, with sculpture gardens and works of art everywhere.  I decided my husband and kids need to see DC at least once in their lifetime!  The last two times I missed the U.S. Horticultural Gardens and the Nation Zoo...we'll see them this trip...giant pandas!  I love that you can almost cross the streets and be in a different state.

We fly out tomorrow.  Another cool thing is that my ten year cancer-free anniversary will be while we are there...on the 16th.  Best way to celebrate it with the people who mean the most to me!  Can you believe I'm almost  decade past a terminal diagnosis???