Dear Future Karen

A letter to my future self, to be read in November 2010.

Dear Future Karen,

Remember your obsession with not preparing for Christmas before the actual Christmas season?

Well, it's stupid.

Think back to November 2009, Future Karen. Remember the week before Thanksgiving, when you spotted one of the toys WCK wanted for Christmas at Target? Remember how Target had tons and tons and tons of these toys? Remember how you had the opportunity to buy one, but you did not, simply because it was before Thanksgiving and it violated your policy of not buying Christmas stuff before Thanksgiving?

Now remember how you went back to Target on the Monday after Thanksgiving. That's right, Future Karen. Not one of these toys remained. You had to run around to three Targets, and finally ended up having to venture inside -- gulp -- Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart, Future Karen! Wal-Mart! The toy was there, but you stood in the "express line" for what seemed like an hour, only to have the cashier mock your choice of gift for your child. (Note to others: It was a set of doll furniture, so I don't know why she was mocking it, other than the fact that she's a Wal-Mart cashier and probably unhappy with having to spend hours inside that God-forsaken place.)

I'm writing this, Future Karen, because this happens to you every year, but you always forget. Every year, you revert to your stubborn, no-shopping-before-Thanksgiving ways. If you don't want to drink eggnog or listen to carols before Thanksgiving, fine. Fine. I know I'm not going to change your mind. But start your shopping earlier, for the love of God! We were mocked by a Wal-Mart cashier today!

Help me, Future Karen. You're my only hope.

Love,
Present Karen