Sunday, November 23, 2008

Portrait-oholism

Jay, WCK, and I got family photos taken at Portrait Innovations last week. Portrait Innovations is a very dangerous place for me. After your photos have been taken, you sit down in front of a huge computer screen with the Photo Lady and pick out the poses you like the best. This process takes a while, so Jay usually takes WCK home while I pick the photos. I'm left all alone with the Photo Lady. This is not good.

I always end up ordering way, way more photos than anyone could possibly need. The thing is, while you're sitting there at Portrait Innovations, you think you are actually making good choices. They must pump some Unwise Photo-Selection Drug through the air vents. You absolutely believe that all of your relatives are going to want to own five eight-by-ten photos of your child. You're convinced that every single person you know is going to want to receive a photo of the whole family wearing Santa hats. You think that if you don't order enough pictures to get the free CD, you will die. And so you place your unwise order.

When you return home, your order seems a little bit excessive, but you don't necessarily feel bad about yourself.

When the photo drug wears off about a week later, you examine your photos and realize you truly have a problem.

Yesterday, I got out my giant packet of photos and laid them out on the dining room table, trying to figure out which relatives would get which photos. (Attention, relatives: I hope you like looking at photos of my child, because you will soon be able to wallpaper your homes with them.) Jay walked by and stared at my piles of photos in disbelief.

"I know!" I said. "I don't know why I ordered these!"

"It's a disease!" shrieked Jay.

Anyone know a good place to go for Portrait Innovations rehab?

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