My mind raced and, for the first time in years, I felt giddy about the new year. I've signed up for Terrie Silverman's Creative Rites classes, which begin January 10, and plan to start work on that one-woman show, "Big C, Little C." I'm ready to take on some marketing projects in the energy/water efficiency field. I've got some freelance writing projects in the works.
And after nearly a year of being the grateful recipient of abundant love, support and friendship that's been demonstrated in a thousand thoughtful ways, I'm giddy about the prospect of being able to give more than I receive this year.
The possibility of feeling good, doing good work and accomplishing good things is enough to make anyone feel giddy.
But every so often the giddiness is replaced with nervous butterflies in my stomach - the ones that flutter around and whisper, "What if you relapse?" "What if you eventually need a donor stem cell transplant?" "What if you develop myelodysplasia (the chemo-induced cancer that was a concern)?" Even writing about these "What ifs" makes me want to throw up, because, yes, they are in the realm of possibility.
I figure that two can play at the "what if" game. "What if I find an agent and a publisher for one of my book proposals?" "What if I publish an article in Dwell Magazine?" "What if I spend the entire year in remission?" "What if my blood counts continue to rise to normal levels?" These are also in the strong realm of possibility. (And instead of nervous butterflies, I get giddy thinking about these things.)
So what's it gonna' be? What if we ALL have a happy, healthy New Year?! I'll drink to that!
No comments:
Post a Comment