Navelbine Round 2

I am just back from getting my second dose of Navelbine. I'm a bit tired, so plan to take a nap, but otherwise feel fine. I also got Zometa, the bone strengthener, today, so I spent a little longer at the Cancer Institute but had lots of good company.

Now it's time to snooze!

When spiders attack

A couple of weeks ago, when WCK had the day off of school for Martin Luther King Day, I thought it would be fun to take her to Chuck E. Cheese with some friends from our stay-at-home moms' group. Apparently, every parent in the Kansas City metro area had this same idea, because CEC was about five times more insane than the most insane I've ever seen it. Shortly before noon, they ran out of ice and Diet Coke, which is the magic elixir my brain requires to stay alive. This non-alive brain is probably why I remained at Chuck E. Cheese throughout the afternoon instead of running into the parking lot screaming, like a person with a working brain would do. Somehow, though, we managed to survive, and WCK earned 90 tickets, which was enough to cash in for the greatest prize ever -- a giant plastic spider:



After we got home, WCK thought it would be hilarious -- and I agreed -- if we tried to scare Daddy with the giant plastic spider. We decided to set the spider on top of the peanut butter jar, and then we lay in wait until Jay came home from work.

WCK met him at the door with an evil grin.

"Daddy, don't you want some ... peanut butter?"

Jay was confused and said that he did not want some peanut butter, but I finally convinced him to at least go look at the peanut butter, because it was important.

Jay saw the spider and let out a really good fake blood-curdling scream, which was everything WCK had dreamed of when she'd set the spider upon the peanut butter. Later that night, when WCK wasn't looking, Jay put the spider on her pillow.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" fake-shrieked WCK, and she ran to put the spider on his pillow.

And so began the Spider Game, which is still going on to this day. The only rules are that you have to fake scream when you see the spider, and then you have to go revenge-hide it for the family member you believe hid it for you. It's been on my hair dryer and Jay's contact case. It's been inside one of my running shoes and in WCK's pajama drawer. One day, WCK came home from school, and her favorite stuffed frog was sitting calmly at the kitchen table, holding the spider.

Where will the spider end up next? I have no ide .... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

The Bitch Ponders

Part I.
I am going to a conference and I am pretty sure I will run into The One Who Does Not Want to Friend Me, On Facebook or Otherwise, and I find myself obsessing about this every so often. We were best friends the first quarter of freshman year of college and I came across a very lovely card she sent me over Thanksgiving that year, about how she felt so different from high school friends she talked to, because they were not feminist or interested in careers and she was. She was so very interested in careers. We were both in journalism but she had done more Out in the World than I had. As a high schooler, she'd interned at a real daily newspaper, while I had worked at an amusement park for two summers. I had worked on the newsletter for employees of the park. She had also won or placed in a national creative writing contest sponsored by Seventeen Magazine. (Maybe international, if you count Canada.) I had sent in to a Seventeen contest, but I was so ignorant I didn't know I was supposed to send a copy of a high school newspaper article I'd written, I mean I sent a clean, typed copy of the article, and *not* a photocopy of the newspaper that contained the article. I try to remember that, when students ask me questions that seem to show they have not one iota of common sense. I wouldn't say that I competed with The One; it was a given that she had achieved more; I may have considered her to be in a quite separate realm.

I remember I was an Honorable Mention in a contest, but I don't remember for what. And I had two trophies--one from a citywide journalism contest and the other from a Jewish organization that sponsored a writing award. I remember it as the Seymour Cussworm Award, but that sounds like a made-up name. In many ways I peaked in high school. In college and graduate school I was average or below. I would like to think that I am still on my way to my peak. As Nora Ephron wrote once, in the essay "On Having Never Been a Prom Queen": I am, in fact, at this very moment gaining my looks.

I just googled again and found the Sidney G. Kusworm award, but it is for community service. He was head of Americanization for the B'nai B'rith and served on Truman's civil rights commission. All of this giving Seymour an intractable inferiority complex, of course.

I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, was it my fault that I broke up with my boyfriend freshman year, and then got back together with him a few weeks or month later? It may have been sophomore year. I assume that was my transgression, according to The One Who Will Not... because she went out with him after we broke up, and I guess he broke up with her in order to get back together with me. But shouldn't she blame him and not me? And shouldn't I have forgotten this in the decades since?

I do emphasize the negative; I think of The One... instead of A, whom I have not seen in about 20 years, and with whom I will have lunch a week from Monday. A is a lovely and intense person, with blond hair, blue eyes, a cherubic face and soft voice, who brought down a corrupt mayor with her reporting. You may remember Coleman Young and the krugerrands. (Which was not a singing group.) I will also see D, who was my boss and taught me the little bit I learned early on about structuring a longer piece of writing.

It could be, of course, that along the way, The One decided she did not like me. How could that be? I ask L. How could someone not like me? We are both baffled.
[Artist credit: Henry Wallis]

Can we quote you on that?

Passing along an email from Maureen Alter Tiedeman:
I am the founder of Wings for Injured Athletes Inc. We are putting together a 365 daily calendar for 2012 called "Caring For Cancer one day At a time" with inspiring quotes from cancer patients and survivors.

I would like to recognize those individuals who have overcome adversity.

Would you know any individuals that would like to submit a quote?

I came up with the idea this November when my mother in law was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia and was told she only had 2 months to live unless she started chemo right away. So far she is having chemo in Fargo ND, being positive and is scheduled to go the Mayo Clinic in MN, February 9, 2011 to get a bone marrow transplant.
This is my way of giving back. A percentage of the proceeds will go towards cancer research.

Thank you for your time and I hope to hear from you

Wings for Injured Athletes is a 501 c3 organization.

To contribute a quote, go to
www.wingsforinjuredathletes.com
and click on "Cancer Care."


"Because Life's Too Short Not To Enjoy The Things You Love"

Daria’s Funeral Service

Yesterday was Daria’s funeral service. At the funeral home, the family gathered around in the eating area an hour before the start of her service. We spoke softly to each other and shed a few tears for Daria and for each other. The funeral director then took me to the chapel area to show me Daria’s urn, her large framed picture and flower arrangement.  I silently said oh Daria to her picture and cried and stayed a while. 

I didn’t notice walking in, I thought the place was empty, but there were two young ladies sitting in one of the pews. When I turned to leave, they both got up and tearfully introduced themselves and offered their condolences. I told them that I knew who they were. Daria had given both of them their start in their HR careers. Daria talked about them often, followed their progress and after leaving that job for another, they continued met regularly for dinner.

That was my Daria. Thank you to all those that came to Daria's service and offered their condolences to the family and myself.

Don

Below is the link to the picture montage that was shown at her service. When you get there, click on Daria’s picture to start the series rolling.

http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Daria-Maluta&lc=3721&pid=148065092&mid=4526284&locale=en-CA

or Google, Memories Funeral Home Edmonton AB

Daria’s Eulogy by her brother-in-law Peter

   Daria Maluta passed away January 22, 2011 at the age of forty-nine, two days before her fiftieth birthday. She will be sadly missed, but lovingly remembered by her husband Donald, her mother Jennie, her sisters Maria, Anne, Olga, Diane, and her brother Steve.  Daria had been predeceased by her father Roman Maluta in 2001.

    Daria was born on January 24, 1961, and grew up on the family farm near Glendon Alberta, where she attended school. Upon graduation from high school, Daria moved to Edmonton where she was employed by Canada Safeway for approximately twenty years. It was during this period she became interested in business management and human resource development. In 1995 she studied Front End Management offered by Cornell University, and in 1998 she studied Management Development offered by the Faculty of Extension at the University of Alberta.  

  During this period, Daria was also a member of Toastmasters International and regularly volunteered at the Youth Emergency Shelter in Edmonton. In 2003 after having been diagnosed with breast cancer, Daria continued her volunteer work and participated in a Cure for Cancer marathon held in Seattle Washington.

  In 2004, she began her studies towards a Human Resources Certificate, offered by the Faculty of Extension, at the University of Alberta. At this time Daria also decided to make a career change, and she was able to obtain employment with Edmonton Northlands with their Human Resources department. In 2007, Daria was hired by the Eveready Income Fund and employed as a Human Resources Generalist, she remained in this position until her illness caused her to retire.  

  However Daria refused to totally give up her studies in Human Resources and was able to obtain a Human Resources Management Diploma from Grant McEwan University in 2010, despite only being able to attend on a part-time basis while undergoing chemotherapy treatments for her illness.

    In 2000, Daria at the age of thirty-nine, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She endured radiation, chemotherapy, and surgery and was cancer free for eight years, at which point the cancer returned. After her chemotherapy treatments to try to force the cancer into remission, Daria volunteered to participate in the phase 1 clinical trials for the new experimental drug Brivanib, which it was hoped could help future cancer patients. 

  She became a spokesman and activist for those also suffering  from metastatic cancer, and traveled to our nation’s capital to speak to members of parliament about the need for greater cancer awareness and treatment. In this capacity, she set up her internet blog, ( Daria-Living with cancer.)  which allowed her to chronicle her treatment, share her feelings and inspire and encourage others around the world, suffering from this disease. 

 Closer to home Daria continued to volunteer and help others, through the Breast Cancer Network she provided counseling to others on a daily basis. Daria not only shared her busy life with her beloved husband Don  and her dog Daisy, she developed a worldwide network of friends through her blog and Facebook entries, who she continued to inspire daily.

welcome to my life

Earlier this week, my friend K. sent me an article from the New York Times that was the best piece of journalistic writing on metastatic breast cancer I've ever read. And I've read a lot on this subject.

I cried when I read it (but as I told K., in a good way) because it resonated so deeply with me, juxtaposing the facts and the experiences of women living with cancer that can never be considered cured. I started to highlight the best bits to share with you here but ended up cutting and pasting more than two thirds of the article.

I've decided that it's best not violate copyright or my own ethics and just post the link and ask you to please go read this article:

A Pink Ribbon Race, Years Long.

Finding me on the web

There was a good article in the recent Costco Connection about how to get your website noticed. I took advantage of several of their tips and submitted my blog site to Google, Yahoo!, Bing and dmoz.org (the Open Directory Project). Then I tried to "meta tag" my blog but I am afraid html code is way above my current level of understanding. Then I took advantage of the new fonts available through Blogger. Last, I messed around with key words but didn't really get anywhere.

If any of you have suggestions on how to improve my blog's visibility, I'd be open to hearing them. What do you think of the new fonts?

least horrified by the worms

"Alabama governor touches off controversy with Christian comments."

Newly elected Alabama Republican Gov. Robert Bentley, speaking on Martin Luther King Day:

"Now I will have to say that, if we don't have the same daddy, we're not brothers and sisters," he told parishioners at a Baptist church in Montgomery Monday shortly after being sworn in. "So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're not my brother and you're not my sister, and I want to be your brother."

"CNN's Erick Erickson suggests "mass bloodshed" may be necessary if Roe isn't overturned."

From the conservative blog Red State, of which Erickson is editor in chief:

"...once before, our nation was forced to repudiate the Supreme Court with mass bloodshed. We remain steadfast in our belief that this will not be necessary again, but only if those committed to justice do not waiver or compromise, and send a clear and unmistakable signal to their elected officials of what must be necessary to earn our support."

"How much would you pay to eat this man's worms?"

Zoom wrote a post about a guy named Jasper Lawrence "who sells hookworms which he harvests from his own poop." It's really gross but also extremely fascinating.

And I think I'd be more comfortable with Jasper Lawrence than either Robert Bentley or Erick Erickson.

Healthy Spirits: New Stuff

1. Dieu Du Ciel Peche Mortel
2. Castelain Blonde Biere De Garde
3. Sierra Nevada Glissade
4. Maui Coconut Porter
5. Widmer Deadlift IPA
6. Ninkasi Oatis


cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

Stylin'!

WCK told me that all of the kids in her kindergarten class really like my purse. Finally, for the first time in my life, I've made a fashion choice that is the envy of all!

Or at least the envy of all five-year-olds:

Must have these....

I saw these amazing shoes in an ad in Vogue Magazine. (I know, you wouldn't think I'd read Vogue, but it was a free subscription from expiring airline miles.)

I could never afford them, but aren't they gorgeous?! From Prada's spring/summer 2011 collection.

The latest

I just realized I haven't posted in a few days. I've been well, just busy. Here's the skinny:

On Friday I woke up with some back pain, so didn't go to yoga. We enjoyed a great Shabbat dinner with friends. I went to bed with a slightly queasy tummy, perhaps related to the second dose of Navelbine.

By Saturday my back was much better so I went to shul. I felt a bit faint in the morning but fresh air helped. After a two-hour afternoon nap, we got a last minute dinner invitation from friends. Even though I wasn't hungry, it sure beat cooking! And I have to eat, to keep my weight stable while on chemo, especially if I have little appetite.

Friends joined us for Sunday brunch (Eltana bagels, lox and cream cheese; artichoke-mushroom-cheese strata; coffee and OJ and delicious fruit tarts from a small bakery in Bellevue). We shmoozed our way into the afternoon, and then I pooped out.

I was late to my Monday morning meeting. Still feeling tired, I also had my blood drawn in preparation for today's appointment with Dr G.

Today it was even harder to get started. My usual 30 minute walk with the dog took 40 minutes and I was out of breath going up hill. When I saw Dr G, he told me that the Navelbine's effectiveness is unclear: my tumor markers had continued to rise. But still, it's much too soon to make any treatment changes. I will continue onto the second cycle of Navelbine, with two doses one week apart and then a week off. Then I'll have another blood test to check my tumor markers and we will re-evaluate.

In the meanwhile, I am slightly anemic. That would explain my fatigue and shortness of breath. It's either from the Navelbine or from the Neulasta shot I had last week. I plan to increase my consumption of iron-rich foods such as spinach, red meat, dried fruit, etc. I also see the naturopath next week and he may have other recommendations.

I am still hoping for this treatment to be highly effective, well-tolerated and with minimal side effects.

Quickly approaching the 5 year mark

Quickly coming' up on the 5year mark of my stage 4diagnosis of BAC lung cancer. I never should have made it but I did so, suck egg conservative members of the medical community who felt obligated to still my joy and try and take away my hope. 2/1/2011 is gonna be a good and better night even though I have a pending surgery weighing on me.

Is Breast Cancer Caused by a Virus?

Anton and I saw these short films on YouTube a couple months ago, and they blew us away. To think of the possibility that breast cancer could be caused by a virus (like HPV causes cervical cancer), and that if so, there could be a vaccination and a cure!...And to wonder why the medical field hasn't encouraged research into this--these ideas nag at us. But please watch these videos, spread the word, and think of ways that you could possibly play a role in increasing research into a breast cancer virus.

(If you're having problems viewing the videos here, just click on the YouTube icon on the bottom righthand corner of each frame.)

Somebody wants a spankin'

I found out last week that my M-spike, quite unexpectedly, decided to freak out. It pretty much went crazy, stripped off all of its clothes, and went running naked through the neighborhood, hooting at passers by while chugging beer. In other words, it went up to 3.3.

Yeah. What the fudge?*

*"Fudge" is not the actual word I used.

I spent the whole weekend psyching myself up for the dexamethasone prescription that I knew I'd get today. Honestly, I wanted some dex. I can't allow my M-spike to run around naked.

This afternoon, Dr. GPO called me himself. (Himself! I got in to see the wizard!) He said that all of my other numbers are perfect -- things like albumin, beta-2, kidney function, and so on -- so this is not an emergency, and we still have some room to mess around with the Revlimid dose. We've been messing with the dose and the medication schedule the past two cycles because of low white counts. Apparently 25 mg is too high, because it lowers my white count, and 15 mg is too low, because it raises my M-spike, and taking an extra week off per cycle doesn't help matters at all. Dr. GPO gave me two choices: Take dex, or move the Rev up to 20 mg for one cycle to see what happens. I selected the 20 mg of Rev option.

If that doesn't work, I'll take dex after this cycle. And that's fine. Dex is not my friend, but letting my myeloma careen out of control is less of my friend.

Dr. GPO was not at all worried, though. "Your myeloma is just talking to us," he said. "It's talking, and it's saying, 'You just need to spank me a little harder!'"

I'm going to be laughing about that for days, if not for the rest of my life. M-spike, get ready for a spankin'.

On the up side, at least we all get to look at this again for a while:

coldest January 24th in recorded history

It was -30C (-22F) or -38C (-37F) with the wind chill when I got up this morning. It was that cold yesterday too. I did go out yesterday but I didn't take a picture.

Zoom did, though.

It had warmed up to a balmy -21C (-6F) by the time I went for my run this afternoon. See the frost on my coat?

This is a very boring post. I wish I had something more interesting to say.

Daria's funeral service at Memories Funeral Home

If you are able, please attend Daria's funeral service at Memories Funeral Home 13403 St. Albert Trail, Edmonton AB Canada, Thursday January 27 at 1:00PM. Refreshments will be served afterwards.

If you can’t make it, I will post the eulogy and the picture montage shown during the eulogy so you will have a better sense of Daria’s personality and the things she accomplished in her life.

Thank you,

Don

Daria Maluta has Passed

Daria Maluta passed away last night at 04:34 on Jan 22, 2011 at the Royal Alexandra Hospital here in Edmonton AB. I was by her side and was able to kiss her goodbye several times during the night and then watched her slip away quietly in her sleep.

I’m a little too emotional to talk about anything else right now. Meeting right away with family at her mother's place and I’ll post more later.

Don

Healthy Spirits: The New Stuff: Midnight Sun and More!

1. Midnight Sun Obliteration (Hoppy Imperial Stout)
2. Midnight Sun XXX Black Double IPA
3. He'Brew Rejewvenator (Blend of Dubbel and Doppelbock with grape juice)
4. Unibroue Quelque Chose
5. Lost Abbey Witch's Wit

cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

Little girl has breast cancer

I read about this very young girl who was diagnosed with breast cancer at age two. At three she had a mastectomy. She's now four years old, and her doctors say her prognosis is good. She will have reconstructive surgery at some time in the future. Aleisha Hunter was on the Today show yesterday with her mom.

How can such a small child have breast cancer? An article in Canada's Globe and Mail reported that Aleisha has juvenile secretory breast carcinoma, and that there is no support for a trend of increased cases of breast cancer among children.

Snow Day Number Three

Some progress has been made. Give me a couple more blizzards, and I'll finish it up:

Daria Rests Comfortably

Daria is resting comfortably but is slowly losing touch. We are waiting for an opening at hospice care about a block away from the hospital. The caregivers say that should happen around Wednesday of next week.

Don

someone pour me a drink

A couple of months ago, I bought a sports watch at Zellers.* The clerk at the store convinced me to get an in store credit card, so that I could get a twenty-five per cent discount.

Against my better judgment, I agreed.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, when the bill arrives. Knowing that store credit cards have usurious interest rates, I pay off the balance in full immediately.

Fast forward to a few weeks after that, when I get another credit card bill, showing that I still owe the full amount plus interest.

Annoyed, I call the credit card company to complain. The woman on the other end of the phone was polite and helpful. She quickly identified the error, fixed it and told me to have a nice day.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks later when I start getting calls phone calls from “credit services.”

Now I'm downright irate. I call the credit card company again. The person with whom I speak this time has no record of my previous phone conversation. When I ask to have my card credited with the amount that I have already paid. He informs that's “not how things work.”

This is how Zellers proposes to resolve the problem:

They will send me a cheque covering the amount that I have paid them. And I will send them a cheque to cover my bill.

Allow me to restate this – Zellers is sending me a cheque for sixty dollars. And I'm expected to mail them a cheque for sixty dollars.

They can't just credit me with the money I've paid. I can't pay them online or over the phone.

Zellers and I have to send each other cheques for the exact same amount, so that they can cross in the mail.

At this point, I inform the agent on the other end of the phone that I want to cancel my card. He says that I have to call another number to do that and that he can't transfer me.

I place that call, cancel my card (“No, I say firmly, I do not want to give the company another chance”) and am then told that I have to call a third number to cancel the insurance on the card.

Nearing hysterics, I call the insurance people and am bluntly told (after being on hold for a while) that the insurance is cancelled automatically when you cancel the card.

My spouse will tell you that I am extremely tolerant (to the point of ridiculousness) of bad service, generally speaking. But this experience left me feeling that someone at Zellers needs to give some thought to getting it's act together.

*For readers out side Canada: Zellers is a large chain (like Walmart or Kmart). The Hudson's Bay Company just sold it to Target.

Healthy Spirits: Sink the Bismarck and Tactical Nuclear Penguin!!!

Very limited quantities. Only Beer of the Month Club members may reserve bottles. To reserve, call us at 415-255-0610. Please do not reserve by e-mail, as we may not be able to respond in time to guarantee you a bottle. These are expected to go fast.

1. Tactical Nuclear Penguin
-32%ABV Imperial Stout

2.Sink The Bismarck!
-41% ABV Imperial IPA

cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

Tu B'Shvat

Perhaps one of our least widely-celebrated holidays, Tu B'Shvat is the Jewish Arbor Day. It's the time (in Israel) when sap begins to flow in the trees and you know spring is on its way. Check out this article on Tu B'Shvat and environmentalism.

Yesterday I was at Costco buying dog food, among other items, and saw small trees for sale. I purchased two genetic dwarf Meteor sour cherries. The tag reads "a natural genetic-dwarf tree with medium size, bright red fruit with tart flesh that is great for pies, jellies and preserves. The tree is very hardy, productive and resistant to leaf spot. Ripens late. Self-fertile."

What does all this mean?

It's a short tree, so that when he picks the fruit, Rik won't fall out of it from too high a height. (In his tumble from our plum tree a couple of years ago, Rik fell fifteen feet from the top of the tree to the ground, and thankfully he hardly had a scratch or bruise.)

It will give sour cherries, for making cherry pie, which are so hard to find, even at farmers' markets.

I didn't have to buy two different kinds of cherries in order for them to cross-pollinate with each other. I did buy two trees because two sour cherries means we should get twice the amount of fruit!

And the two cherry trees will help replace the dead tree we had to cut down this summer and the plum tree that fell over in a recent windstorm.

Of course, we will also celebrate Tu B'Shvat by eating some of the seven fruits of the land of Israel: wheat, barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives,  and dates. I'm thinking pasta with olive oil and a glass of red wine. And I plan to bring both a pomegranate and a bar of World Market pomegranate dark chocolate to tonight's meeting for everyone to share.

Daria is no longer able to post to her blog

Don here. This is the most difficult thing I ever have had to say…. Daria is no longer able to post to her blog.

Yesterday around noon, I brought my love to the hospital by ambulance. After some tests by the ER doctors, Daria asked for medication to control pain. It’s difficult for her to speak right now but she still knows what’s going on. 

This morning and every morning, I’ll print out your comments, take them to Daria’s bedside and read …. I think tearfully … each one out loud. Your words mean a lot to both Daria and I, they will be very comforting to hear.

In the next day or so I’ll know more and post.

Don

Alive

A week after we told the kids that they were getting a new sibling, Chloe asked, "Is the baby still alive?" Her innocence and concern tugged at my heart. She's thought of Veo, the brother she and Mylo lost inexplicably. And now she's worried about her baby sister. I told her that yes, the baby is alive. She and Mylo smile, ask questions, make up stories for and about their baby sister. And yes, Chloe, the baby is alive. We are all alive.

oh come on.

Heath Care Repeal vote passes house...

It's terribly ironic that this happened the day I was being interviewed about healthcare. I grew up with the idea that my culture inherently meant well and had some sort of moral compass. I am increasingly disillusioned. We are all so detached.

ok, I'm convinced that sharing my story will help somehow. I'll do it.

Healthy Spirits: Crispin Cider and more!

1. Crispin Honey Crisp Cider
2. Crispin Lansdowne Cider
3. Crispin "The Saint" Cider
4. Dogfish Head Burton Baton
5. Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout
6. Sierra Nevada Hoptimum


cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

almost wordless wednesday: playing hookie

He said, "That was perfect."

Rabbits

It's soon going to be the Year of the Rabbit, which happens to be my year. Rabbits are creative, compassionate, and sensitive. And our baby girl will be the same. Yes, we are having a baby!

Soon after Anton and I got engaged in Maui in August, we found out that we were pregnant once again. We faced this new blessing with a lot of fear, as we had been devastated by the loss of Veo in April. But as soon as we saw all my doctors, we were reassured that we would be well taken care of. The genetics department at Women's Hospital took charge of extra screenings and tests, to see if this baby would have the same defects that Veo had. We also had more appointments with my family doctor, obstetrician, and plastic surgeon, all of whom have been keeping a close eye on me.

We kept the pregnancy mum, especially from Chloe and Mylo, because Veo's death was so hard on everyone. We wanted to make sure we would spare the kids those horrible feelings and confusion they experienced with the loss of their baby brother. And with each test that I took, each ultrasound that we waited for, we held our breath. Luckily, everything has turned out okay, and we have now just been able to share the miraculous news with all our friends and family!

Baby Girl (yes, we found out!) is kicking me full force now, and I savour each movement I can feel. But it has been a difficult challenge on my body, and today when I had a check-up with my Ob/Gyn, she said, "Yes, it's going to be a long pregnancy." There is, of course, still the issue with my TRAM-flap. If you look at me, you probably wouldn't recognize that I am over five months pregnant. I just look like I went on a carb binge. The metal mesh is not budging, and I'm not sure how or where baby is growing, but she is. It does make walking and moving and turning in bed a less than comfortable experience. But I just have to take it slow. And it seems, for whatever reason, that the epilepsy I had as a child has returned somewhat, and I've had three seizures since November. I've seen a neurologist and had two EEG's, but there's not much we can do at the moment but be careful. And then there was a kidney infection which left me hospitalized in Los Angeles for five days. Whatever. I can take it!

The doc wants me to come in every two weeks instead of once a month. She and my surgeon are closely watching my growth, to see when it will be the best time to do the surgery to take baby out. It's going to be a complicated C-section, as they will have to cut through my mesh. At the same time, I will likely get a hysterectomy because of my increased risk of getting other reproductive cancers. Am I sure I want to do this? Absolutely. I've got two beautiful children and a baby on the way, and I feel that after all that, my family will be complete. I want to be around for a long time to see them all grow up.

Yesterday, I had my six-month oncology check-up, and I am happy to say that I am still in remission. I am half-way to the five-year mark, when we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief, because at the five-year mark, my changes of recurrence go way down!

I'm finding that almost three years after having had my mastectomy, I'm finally at a point where I can move forward with more confidence, with less fear. I have to remember: I have survived so much, and I am a better person in the end. I have learned so much in the past three years that I can teach my children, and other cancer patients and survivors who feel so alone. In November, Anton and I have the privilege of attending a young adult cancer survivor conference in St. John's, Newfoundland (see my links to the right for info on Young Adult Cancer Canada). To say that the weekend was amazing and inspirational is an understatement. So many of us came together as a family, remembered those who were lost this past year to cancer, and motivated each other to be there for and to reach out to other young adults with cancer. One of the main issues for young people with cancer is the feeling of isolation: you have cancer but you're young--you're not supposed to have cancer. You're supposed to be starting a career, having kids, getting married. Now what? At this conference, we learned how to cope and thrive, and to help others do the same. It gave me and Anton a lot of hope and comfort.

Now we find ourselves in this new year, with new promise for positive energy and happiness. We have survived, we will survive, and we will be here to help others do the same. Cancer is always a curse, but it can be broken. When the curse breaks--when the patient breaks the curse--the only thing left to receive are the blessings.

One day, I was reflecting on all that has gone on over the past three years. It all seems like too much. But when I ask myself if I would do it all over again--if it meant that I had to do it all in order to get to where I am today, with my kids, with Anton, with this new baby that will complete our family--without hesitation, I say, "Absolutely. Yes."

Healthy Spirits: New Arrivals

1. Upright Brewing "Four" Saison
2. Upright Brewing "Five" Saison
3. Upright Brewing "Six" Saison
4. Upright Brewing "Seven" Saison
5. Prof. Fritz Briem 1809 Berliner Weisse
6. Prof. Fritz Briem 13th Century Grut Bier

COMING TOMORROW:

Dogfish Head Burton Baton!!!

cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

The New York Times gets it right

The New York Times ran this great article about metastatic breast cancer yesterday. In "A Pink-Ribbon Race, Years Long", journalist Roni Caryn Rabin eloquently conveys many of the fears, frustrations and concerns of women living with metastatic disease.

"Since it is metastasis that ultimately kills, some advocates want more resources devoted to its study and treatment. Even though many cancer drugs are initially tested on patients with advanced disease, Danny Welch, an expert on metastasis, says only a few hundred scientists in the world are trying to understand the process.

“It’s responsible for 90 percent of the morbidity and mortality, but gets less than 5 percent of the budget,” said Dr. Welch."

This is a great reason to tell those who count -- your Congressional representatives, Komen, American Cancer Society, etc. -- to increase NIH funding specifically for metastatic breast cancer.

The problem that won't go away

The New York Times today focuses on the difference between Stage 4 and other breast cancers, under an unfortunate headline: "A Pink-Ribbon Race, Years Long." Note to all: Editors, not reporters write the headlines.

The lead is about a woman with metastasis who went to a support group meeting and didn't have the heart to tell the rest of the women, who had stages 1-3, about herself. I was what scared them, the woman, Suzanne Hebert, said.

Let's look at the numbers: some 40,000 people in the US die of breast cancer a year. About a quarter of us who are first diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer end up with metastasis. About 150,000 are living with Stage 4.

The story quotes Dr. Eric P. Winer, director of the breast oncology center at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston: All too often, when people think about breast cancer, they think about it as a problem, it’s solved, and you lead a long and normal life.

There was CJ, who was married to my old friend A. She was diagnosed in 2001, six years before I was, with about the same stage. She had a mastectomy, no need for chemo, her doctors said, and the family traveled and she continued working in an underfunded public school library on the East Coast, coaching the Reading Olympics team. Five years later the cancer came back. When I saw her a few years ago, she was getting treatment for cancer that had moved to her spine and brain. In spring 2009, she was losing her sight but still took the Reading Olympics kids to a competition. I didn't see her on a visit around then; I saw A when he drove me to the airport. One weekend in May 2009 she accused him of not turning on the lights. She went to school on Monday and realized that she really could not see and she quit. She died at home in August 2009.

I went to a funeral yesterday of an adult student who died suddenly at 46. She was an accomplished actor, playwright and teacher, and was in our MFA program to learn more about nonfiction writing. Last week she went home after our evening class, and she and her husband had some wine and were watching some trashy TV to relax. He got up to get more wine, and when he came back, his wife wasn't breathing. Her heart stopped before the paramedics got there. A lingering illness, he said, that would have been preferable. I think both are bad, I said. My friend S, who was close to the couple, said that at least with a lingering illness you can say goodbye, you can ask for advice. I don't know what A would say about that. Both ways have their down sides. I've long been against Death, but Death doesn't seem to care.
***
Image above is Pandora [Jane Morris] by Rossetti, which doesn't really fit, except in mood

Resting at Home

I’m out of the hospital after my ERCP and resting at home, drinking fluids and going to the bathroom. The doctors placed a few stints to get bile moving from my liver.

My belly is really full of gas and I’m not feeling too good right now.

Thank you for all your comments.
D.

cluck, cluck.

The following things have occurred in my recent past. My spouse has moved his office to our house and I have acquired a smart phone and the knowledge/ability to send text messages.

 Now that we are in the same house all day, it's possible that we actually speak less. He works in the attic and when I want to talk to him, instead of picking up the phone to call him, as I used to, I'm more apt to send a text (I'm late to the texting party, I know but I'm making up for lost time with a vengeance).

The following conversation took place this morning, via text message (the blog post in question is the one directly below about last night's dream):

Me: "Can you proof my blog?"

T.: "Sure."

Me: "Thanks!"

T. (a few minutes later): "No typos, that I could see. Just weirdness."

Me: "Do you want to have me committed?"

T.: "Hardly. We need the eggs."

Me: "I don't understand."

T.: "Old joke about a man who thought he was a chicken."

Me: "SNORT."

riddle me this

I had a very vivid dream last night.

Perhaps you can help me understand it.

I was a participant in a "So You Think You Can Dance" type show and it was time for three "girls" (I know I am long past girlhood but that's how it was worded in my dream) to be voted off by the other contestants.

When it came time for the results to be read, I felt absolutely relaxed. I was very confident that I would not be cut - and yet my name was the second one read out. I was voted off the show.

While I was surprised at this, my disappointment was fleeting and almost immediately replaced by relief. Euphoria even. I wondered to myself if I'd been voted off because I was viewed as a threat but mostly I was just happy to get the hell out of there.

All of this had taken place in a doctor's office waiting room and the three of us who had been ousted were expected to leave right away. 

But it was winter and I had lots of gear to put on and then I couldn't find my mittens (this kind of thing happens to me in dreams a lot). I checked in the closet, under chairs and then finally in the bathroom. As I left, after giving up, I noticed that the show's producer (a bland, balding man with a pocket protector) was looking worried.

I quietly asked if I could help with anything and he said, "Not unless you can defuse a bomb."

To which I replied, "Well, actually I can."

When he looked skeptical, I handed him an invisible business card, which he took from me without hesitating. I told him to call the number on it to confirm that I was indeed an undercover agent.

I went to the guest room (yes, there was a guest room. It had a single bed and and a faded bed spread, carpeting and a big closet) to lie down and await the go ahead. I was visualizing defusing the bomb and mentally preparing himself.

A few minutes later, the producer came in a with a younger, heavily made up woman (as though dressed for success in a high end law firm). She was holding a set of rental car keys and said, with disgust, "The number you gave us was for a car dealership."

I was perplexed but determined to sort things out. I gestured towards the cell phone that the man was carrying and dialled the number on the car keys. The phone rang a couple of times and then an automated female voice said, "You are being connected to Leila."

The call was forwarded to Leila's voice mail and I said, "Leila it's Juno. I'm at the studio and there's a bomb here that needs defusing. I need you to get in touch and give the OK."

And then my alarm went off (in real life) and I woke up, very disappointed that I didn't get to defuse the bomb.

I told T. about the dream. He agreed that it was pretty weird. I instructed him to call me Juno all day today.

Armchair psychologists: I leave it to you. What the heck did this dream mean? What am I trying to tell myself?

more yoga for those of us who live with cancer

Do you live in Ottawa? Have you been treated for cancer or are you in treatment now? Can you get to Old Ottawa South on Wednesdays at noon? Maureen Fallis, Director of Surround Circle Yoga, Certified yogaTHRIVE© Teacher has put together what promises to be a great program. I'm excited and planning on participating. Care to join me?

YOGA THRIVE

A course specifically designed for people who have an experience with cancer.

“Peace, ease, strength and a renewed sense of being human – this was my experience. It must have been the power of yoga at work!” S.B.

yogaThrive© is a therapeutic yoga program that will help improve body mechanics, breathing, ease, flexibility and strength. This 8-week program is designed to work at a physical level providing for immense shifts physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually … which could open the door to even more profound changes throughout the psyche. What begins on one level tends to continue at multiple levels – an absolute necessity for full healing to occur. The change can be fast, even when the stimulus or the input appears slow and steady.

Discover the beauty of yoga ~ feel better-stronger, more relaxed and in more control!

Surround Circle Yoga

15 Aylmer Avenue, Old Ottawa South

Wednesdays 12:00 – 1:15pm

January 19 – March 9, 2011

March 23 – May 11, 2011

$88.00 (HST is included)

www.surroundcircleyoga.com

613-730-6649

Navelbine #2, day 2

Things took a little longer than expected yesterday. Due to the MLK holiday, there was very little parking in on the street and we drove around a while looking for a spot. My appointment was later in the morning, and so the lab and the Cancer Institute in general were busier. Still, the lab finished my blood work in relatively quick time, and I was sitting in the chemo chair only a half-hour later than my appointment. Then the pharmacy never got the fax from the lab, indicating that they should make up my drug. The nurse realized something was wrong and 45 minutes later, I was getting the Navelbine. By the time I was finished, many of the nurses were extremely busy with other patients, so I had to wait. All in all, we left the Cancer Institute at 1:45 PM and went straight to get some lunch at Mediterranean Kitchen. Then we ran one errand downtown.

It was almost 4 PM by the time we got home, and I collapsed on the sofa for a nice, two hour-plus nap. It was a good thing Rik and I had both eaten that big, late lunch, because I didn't really want any dinner. We relaxed for the rest of the evening and I woke up this morning feeling fine. My cold feels almost over!

I'll be off to the Cancer Institute today for a shot of Neulasta, a drug that will keep my white blood cell count up. Although my counts weren't especially low yesterday (right on the border for normal), Dr G doesn't want to take any chances that this second dose of Navelbine will drop the counts further.

Next week is the week off, so no chemo then. Here's hoping for highly effective, well-tolerated and with minimal side effects.

ERCP Procedure Today

Today I’m going into the hospital for an ERCP Procedure. I’m hoping the Doctors finds some bile duct obstruction that will help explain some of what is going on. And I'm hoping everything goes well and I will be home safe and sound by this evening. 

If I’m not up to blogging tomorrow, I’ll be asking D to fill in some of the details of how I’m doing.

My orchid

My orchid now has three blooms!

Navelbine + 1 week

It's been a week since my first dose of Navelbine and so far, excellent. I had only one side effect for a couple of day (constipation) and prune juice took care of that nicely.

However, I came down with a cold on Tuesday, and by Thursday it was at its worst. I spent much of that day napping, making chicken soup, and then eating the soup. Feeling better on Friday, I went to yoga, and then felt fatigued again. (More soup.) I went to shul on Saturday, relaxed for the rest of the day, but didn't sleep well. (Soup again.)

Our No-Knead Bread

This morning I was so pooped from walking the dog that I desperately needed a nap. After an hour's sleep, I felt refreshed and energetic enough to visit with a friend, make some no-knead bread, and post to my blog.

I'm assuming that my fatigue has been related to the cold, as well as the runny nose and coughing. Tomorrow's lab work will let me know if my counts are low; that could also contribute to feeling fatigued. The real reason I think this is the cold and not the chemo is that Rik has been sick also, with the same symptoms. Hopefully we are both well on the road to recovery!

Feeling Melancholy

Since Thursday’s appointment with my Onc I’ve really been doing a lot of thinking. It’s made me very melancholy. It makes me wonder how much time l have left on this earth?

When I look in the mirror not only am I gaunt but I’m looking Jaundice too. I don’t feel like I’m recovering … I feel like I’m deteriateing.

I am feeling ever so rushed to get things done knowing at any time I could be rushed to the hospital never to come home again. And then there are times I think I might have months to live.

It’s a confusing weird place to be in.

Article

Some cool things about the newspaper article....since it was published I received a card from our superintendent of schools.  She loved the "Knowledge is Power" that was in very large bold letters on the newspaper article (but not the on-line version).  Knowledge IS power for those of us diagnosed with rare diseases.  We so need to educate ourselves...many very good physicians and surgeons may know little about our disease and it's treatment, we so need educate ourselves and become our own advocates.

I also heard from someone who grew up in my neighborhood as a child. I left home at age 17, so I knew her almost 35 years ago!!!  She remembered me! I heard from the attorney who helped me found my 501(c)3 non-profit, we've not been in touch for a few years. I heard from a woman I communicated with almost 5 years ago...she had tried for many years to have a child, and on delivery of her first long-awaited child she was discovered to have appendix cancer. My heart so went out to her...can you imagine waiting almost a decade for a child, only to discover you had advanced cancer on the child's delivery? Your best and worst day being the same? She is now a four and a half year survivor, her son is 4 1/2 years old.  How cool is that??  And my web site hits have tripled as a result of the article, maybe that will help increase awareness.  Cool also that the web site redesign was completed  before the article! 

I have also been contacted by a woman with appendix cancer who lives in my town, and by another woman who will be attending college with me starting next week. She is going to school to be an RN after losing a loved one to abdominal cancer, she hopes to be a better advocate as an RN.

And thanks to those of you who have signed up to our new facebook site and blog group. We truly need to connect with each other. We can support each other in ways no one else can, however well meaning they may be.  Only those who have traveled our road can best understand us.  I appreciate all of you who have joined "the group". Way to go!!!

Well, excuuuuuuuse me, Cupid!

A few nights ago, Jay, WCK, and I were flipping channels on the TV and came across an old episode of Saturday Night Live. Steve Martin was performing a stand-up act with his banjo and an arrow through his head, and we all sat and watched for a few minutes. Yesterday, WCK came home from kindergarten and handed me this drawing:



Once I finished laughing and wiping the tears from my eyes and making plans to get this drawing professionally framed, I told her that was an awesome picture of Steve Martin. WCK got mad and insisted -- very firmly -- that it was NOT Steve Martin. It was a "Valentine angel." I guess by "Valentine angel" she means Cupid. I suppose Cupid could have an arrow through his head. That wild and crazy cupid!

Still, I have doubts about this "Valentine angel" claim. Cupid or Steve Martin? You be the judge.

Hopefully Some Good News Next Week

Friday at 8 am I was at the clinic at X-ray … in for an ultrasound of my chest and abdomen. The goal of the technician was to find large pockets of fluid that could be drained. She found one area on my back near the bra line and one was on the left front side near the groin area. They marked some areas on my body, took some pictures and then it was off to see my Onc who was going to do the two procedure … the Thoracentesis and the Paracentesis.

Eventually he took out 750mls of fluid out from around my lung area and another 850mls out from around my abdomen area. I’d have to say it went very smoothly with no pain … maybe a bit of discomfort.

Even after the procedure, my belly is still quite swollen but much of the pressure is relieved. I still cough a bit and my ears feel like I’m under water. I’m hoping it’s just some time for everything to settle in.

While doing the procedures, the Onc repeated … we are not stopping this study till we find out what’s wrong with you. Music to my hears …

The final procedure being done is an ERCP which will be done by a gastrologists. He is looking for some liver duct blockages that can be fixed. Anyways, got a call late Friday to come in on Monday. Wow I am very excited. Hopefully we finally have some solid answers.

New Arrivals: Victory Twelve, Grande Dame Oud Bruin and more

Happy Friday!

Come drown your work week sorrows with us. Got some fun new arrivals and plenty of replenishment.

-Victory Twelve
-Grande Dame Oud Bruin
-Porterhouse Wrasslers XXXX Stout
-Porterhouse Red Ale
-Batemans Mr George's Ruby Porter

Drink on...........

Nate

And the countdown begins ...

Today has been a good day so far. First, my friend Abigail and I now have our tickets to see NKOTBSB in July. It looks like we'll be a lot closer to the stage this time. All that is left to do is sit around and wait for six months and two days. Six months!! How am I going to pass the time? By posting videos, of course. Here is the video of all of them on New Year's Eve:

As soon as I ordered the tickets, I had to rush out the door for my monthly checkup with Dr. GPO. My hemoglobin is still a little too low, but it has improved a little bit, and my white count has improved a lot. Today it was 3.o, which is still too low, but last month it was 1.3. Yikes! I asked about last month's M-spike rise, and Dr. GPO said he was not the least bit concerned. Then we had a conversation that went like this:

ME: What if my M-spike goes up again?

DR. GPO: It won't.

ME: OK. But what if ...

DR. GPO: IT WON'T.

ME: But ...

DR. GPO: IT CAN'T. IT WON'T.

Finally, I got him to admit that there might exist some far-off, imaginary, fantasy universe where frogs wear tiny little hats, and maybe, my M-spike might, hypothetically, maybe, perhaps, go up again. In that case, he said I might need to adjust my dose again and/or go back on Dex (which I had been thinking about for the past month, so I was not shocked). However, he said that first we would do everything we possibly could before turning to the Dex as a last resort. In the far-off, imaginary, fantasy universe. So that's good to hear.

OK, stop reading this and watch the video. You know you want to.

Sharing Some Bad News

I guess we’ll just cut to the chase … the Trials nurse walks in and says … oh your face … I said it’s yellow … then she looks at my belly … oh it’s bigger … yes I said, trying to hold back the tears. She proceeded to tell my liver functions numbers were up once again. We looked over the numbers. Ok a tear came down. A little discussion, then I said and how many weeks can I be off Brivanib before I’m kicked off the study? She said four. More tears. Next week is considered my 4th week and there is no possible way those liver function numbers could come down in one week. So I’m off the study, I said … yes, said the nurse.

We spent some time talking as she tried to console me. I asked how long do I have … she said the Onc would come in to talk to me about that. My mind was racing now, how am I’m going to tell D, my family.

Then the Onc came me. First he said the CT scan was really good. The tumors on the liver are smaller and looking great. But the liver function numbers are not great. He said, I’m thinking the reason your liver function numbers are up is because you may have a plugged bile duct in and around your liver. And your coughing is likely because you have a swollen belly which is putting pressure on your lungs which already have fluid around your lungs and are making you cough.

So what is the plan … drain the fluid around the lungs, drain fluid from the abdomen and try and find a plugged bile duct and then unplug it.

In the end, I walked out not having much solid information except that tomorrow morning at 8:00am I have to be at the clinic for one of these procedures.

The Jewish Zodiac

This is too funny to not share. You'll find the list, complete with birth years, at the bottom of the post.

A Jew Walks Into This Chinese Restaurant
Posted on September 28, 2010 by Seth Front

People often ask me how I came up with the idea for the Jewish Zodiac and I tell them it all started at a Chinese restaurant.

I had been working on a screenplay at my office, struggling really, and it was just about noon and I had a hankering for Chinese food. So I went to my local Chinese restaurant and ordered lunch. As I waited for my Mongolian Beef to arrive I started reading the Chinese Zodiac placemat that served as my table setting. Then I looked around – most of the people in the restaurant were Jewish.

I said to myself “If they really want to cater to their audience, this should be a Jewish Zodiac placemat and not a Chinese one.” A Jewish Zodiac? What would a Jewish Zodiac be? It wouldn’t be Year of the Dragon or Year of the Ox. It would be Year of the Bagel and Year of the Lox. It would be deli food. And that’s when the light bulb went off, or should I say lightning bolt.

Now I don’t consider myself a deeply religious person, not in the traditional sense, but there have been a few times in my life when I’ve felt a connection to a higher power. And this was one of those times.

These moments – which I can count on one hand – have all occurred while in the creative process. I consider these “white light moments,” episodes when all sense of time and space dissolve and I suddenly tap into a higher source. During these times, I’ve felt like a conduit for ideas that seem to come from outside of myself and gracefully flow through me onto the page fully realized, as if from God, or a Muse, or the collective unconscious of the universe.

That’s how I felt when I came up with the Jewish Zodiac, or should I say when the Jewish Zodiac found me. Why me? Why not me! Who better than a rabbi’s son and comedy writer to create a deli food parody of the Chinese zodiac?

The creation of the Jewish Zodiac reminds me of something I learned in a Kabbalah class I once took. The teacher said, “God has already created everything in the Universe – he’s just waiting for Man (and Woman) to discover it.”

I think that’s true. And sometimes God has a way of finding us in the strangest of places, when we’re least expecting it.

Copyright 2010 The Jewish Zodiac, LLC.

Seth Front is the creator of the Jewish Zodiac®, a deli food parody of the Chinese zodiac, and a screenwriter (“Nickel and Dime”) who writes about his seriocomic Jewish life at blog.jewzo.com.

The Jewish Zodiac

The Year of:

CHICKEN SOUP
1907, 1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003
You're a healer, nourishing all whom you encounter. We feel better just being in your presence. Mothers want to bring you home to meet their children - resist this at all costs. Compatible with Bagel and Knish.

EGG CREAM
1908, 1920, 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004
You've got a devious personality since you're made with neither eggs nor cream. Friends find your pranks refreshing; others think you're too frothy. Compatible with Blintz, who also has something to hide.

CHOPPED LIVER
1909, 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005
People either love you or hate you, making you wonder "What am I, chopped liver?" But don't get a complex; you're always welcome at the holidays! Bagel's got your back.

BLINTZ
1910, 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006
Creamy and dreamy, you're rightfully cautious to travel in pairs. You play it coy but word is that, with the right topping, you turnover morning, noon and night. Compatible with Schmear.

LATKE
1911, 1923, 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007
Working class with a grating exterior, you're a real softie on the inside. Kind of plain naked, but when dressed up you're a real dish. Compatible with Schmear's cousin Sour Cream.

BAGEL
1912, 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008
You're pliable and always bounce back, although you feel something's missing in your center. If this persists, get some therapy. Compatible with Schmear and Lox...Latke and Knish, not so much.

PICKLE
1913, 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009
You're the perfect sidekick: friends love your salty wit and snappy banter, but you never overshadow them. That shows genuine seasoning from when you were a cucumber. Marry Pastrami later in life.

SCHMEAR
1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010
You blend well with others but often spread yourself too thin. A smooth operator, you could use some spicing up now and then. Compatible with Bagel and Lox. Avoid Pastrami - wouldn't be kosher.

PASTRAMI
1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011
Brisket's hipper sibling, always smokin' and ready to party. You spice up life even if you keep your parents up at night. Compatible with Pickle, who's always by your side.

BLACK AND WHITE ICE CREAM SODA
1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012
Kids love you, but make up your mind! Are you black or white? Cake or cookie? You say you're "New Age," all yin & yang. We call it "bipolar." Sweetie, you're most compatible with yourself.

KNISH
1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013
Flaky on the surface, you're actually a person of depth and substance. Consider medical or law school, but don't get too wrapped up in yourself. Compatible with Pickle. Avoid Lox, who's out of your league.

LOX
1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014
Thin and rich, you're very high maintenance: all you want to do is bask in the heat, getting some color. Consider retiring to Boca. Compatible with Bagel and Schmear, although you top them both.