Healthy Spirits: New Arrivals

1. DFH Bitches' Brew is back!
2. Alesmith Speedway Stout
3. Ballast Point Sculpin
4. Sierra Nevada Estate wet-hop ale (with the cool new green waxed tops!)


cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

So Thankful for Help Shopping for My New Outfit

I have been a bit anxious about getting a new outfit for the Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day in Ottawa. I had already been shopping a couple of times, looking at clothes but just didn’t have the energy to try anything on. So at our Sears coffee group yesterday, I was thrilled when Irm and S offered to help me pick something out.

We went into Sears and while we were grabbing at outfits, a clerk named Maria came by and said, no those colors won’t work for you … you need these colors that will pick up the color of your eyes. How wonderful … someone who really knows what they are doing. She then picked out a couple more outfits and together we went into the change room. 

I said thank you so much, I need help because I am undergoing breast cancer treatment and I have low energy. I anxiously told her I need a special outfit for a special event. She said no trouble at all, calm down and I will help you every step of the way. We will do this slow and easy.

Right off the top, I told her I’m not exactly an easy customer. My tops can’t be too low in the front because I have a breast prosthesis and a catheter scar and I want to make sure they’re well covered. Tops also need sleeves long enough to cover my PICC and wide enough fit over my lymphedema. And most importantly, I just want the whole thing to be comfortable to wear. 

Maria was amazing. I lost track but she brought in 20 or 25 pieces of clothing over ~two hours. She helped me put on and take off each and every item. As time was ticking by, I tried to rush things a little. She said slow down, I’m here to help … it’s my job. I think she ended up missing her break. She really did go ‘above and beyond’ to fit me. 

I have to thank Irm and S for being so patient with what looks good on me. I can hardly believe how blessed I am to have all this help.

I came out with an amazing outfit and can’t wait to show it off.

Healthy Spirits:Russian River Redeption

Now available in 12.7oz bottles!

cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

brief update:

In a few hours I go in to take my radioactive pill. I'll be quarentined for 48 hours.

I've been extremely hypo-thyroid since the surgery but have only felt its effects within the last week or so. At this point, it's a battle just to get my ass up to take a shower.

fatigue, random depression, foggy brain. thinking only in pieces, which are promptly forgotten anyways. can't really write or read. i wonder if this is what the onset of dementia feels like.

oh, and I CAN'T BURP. It is sooo painful, to the point that I don't even eat unless I have to. Built up gas that can't escape, constantly throughout the day, constant nausea.

all of this feels familiar.

hang in there, it'll be all better soon.

Flu Season Facts

I’ve come across a few people recently who have either had a cold or the flu. And my reaction is usually the same ... I try to put some distance between them and myself. I try to be on high alert on things that they’ve touched so I don’t touch them. I just don’t even want to consider being sick. 

So, as this flu season approaches, it’s time for some simple reminders on how to avoid getting sick. They are things we all should be doing all year long but have probably become lax on.

• Wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands ... or, if you can’t wash your hands, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.
• Refrain from touching your nose, mouth and eyes.
• Stay away from people who appear to be sick.
• If you are going to have visitors, don’t be afraid to ask them if they or any immediate family members are ill.
• Consider a flu vaccine.

And for friends and family of someone undergoing cancer treatment, please remember that people undergoing treatment are at a higher risk of infection because of their chemo weakened immune system. A simple flu to a healthy person can turn into pneumonia in a cancer patient. So be aware.

For more information on flu facts for cancer patients ... pls click here.

Hair

On Saturday it was so warm that I decided it was time to uncover my head and expose my 1/4 to 1/2 inch long hair to the world. Although there are still some skimpy patches, and my hairline starts very high on my forehead, it basically looks like I have an extremely trendy, cutting-edge 'do. I also put in my contacts for the first time in months, used some eye makeup (I now have dark eyelashes again, but my eyebrows continue to need help on a daily basis), wore a cute dress and HUGE silver hoop earrings.

Of the 30 or so people at our party, only one made a comment to Rik that he was glad I'd uncovered my head, because they all wanted to know what I looked like. Now if I'd been baby-butt-bald all this time, I don't think this person would have wanted to see my head. Nor would I have wanted to expose my head in that state.

Patrick Stewart

Nothing says cancer for young women quite like looking like Yul Brynner or Patrick Stewart. 

Yul Brynner

(As it is, I have my father's hairline and I look like a male version of myself.)
But since I never lost all my hair, and since the thinning has slowed considerably, I am comfortable going out in public without a scarf. On cooler mornings I wear a hat, but take it off when I am indoors. I did that yesterday at chemo and a woman in the waiting room commented on low cute I looked and said seeing me with hair gave her hope that her hair would come back too.

The only other person who commented on my "trendy" haircut was the four-year-old who wanted to touch my thin short hair and asked why it was like that. I told here it was a very stylish, very short haircut, and did she want one like it the next time her hair needed to be cut? (She demurred.)

Presented with a Great Opportunity

I have been invited by the Canadian Breast Cancer Network to speak and to help promote Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day on October 13. This day is recognized in Canada and in the United States. My name will be used in media alerts and press releases and they might quote me and use my photo. 

To help me out with all of this, the CBCN has sent a background information package about the CBCN to help prepare me for the press and TV interviews that I will be doing. 

Even tho I am thrilled with this opportunity to speak about my experience and get the message out about metastatic breast cancer; I’m just a bit nervous about doing a good job. I wasn’t sure I had it in me, so I asked D … do you think I can do this? He said yes, without a doubt. 

To kick off the event, the CBCN is having a breakfast rally next week on Parliament Hill in Ottawa. My flight and room are already booked … only thing left to do is to buy a new outfit.

Leaving again!

I will be leaving again in a few days for a trip to Miami to attend the American Association for Cancer Research's Cancer Disparities Conference. I will attend as part of the Scientist-Survivor Program. I was very grateful for the invitation. I'm sure I will learn a lot.

As I travel more as a cancer advocate, I've taken to extending travels one day for my own site-seeing/discovery purposes. I never traveled in my younger years, so enjoy seeing different parts of the country now. For fun I try to eat the local food wherever I go. In Florida last time, I tried alligator (tastes like chicken but with the texture of shrimp). I tried skate wings in San Diego and LOVED them; skate wings are the "wings" of a creature similar to a mantaray. In Maryland I tried a soft-shelled blue crab (you eat the shell!) and a crab cake sandwich, which they are famous for. I struggled with trying a crab cake sandwich, as a "cake" sandwich kind of sounds like bread on bread? I tried a crab cake in Chicago once, and it was like a muffin with crab meat chunks in it. But, last minute, just an hour before I left Maryland, I tried one. There is no "cake" in Maryland crab cakes, just crab. The crab cake sandwich was the best sandwich I've ever eaten! I also tried shark nuggets in Maryland, kind of like fish with the texture of chicken, just the opposite of alligator. Last year on vacation, my husband and I tried snails...they were great too (they were disguised so they didn't look like snails). Food can be fun!

One thing I've noticed since surviving cancer, I'm less intimidated or afraid of the unknown. I love to fly now (beats road trips like the 1600 mile backpacking trip I recently went on). I used to be afraid to fly...no "fender benders" in the sky. I don't worry about plane crashes anymore. Maybe I finally got it that I can't always be in control?

Kind of interesting, since I travel more, I actually have enough frequent flyer miles for one free flight. I think I will use them for next year's "Heat it to Beat It" in Maryland....and I will for sure have another crab cake sandwich when I'm there! Blue crab was good, but the crab cake sandwiches are better, even better than shark! And I will stay at the same hotel that offers unlimited free milk. I drink several glasses of milk a day and when I travel I go into milk withdrawal. I loved being in a hotel that had unlimited free milk 24/7!

I am so grateful now, as a nine year cancer-free survivor that I don't have the life I had "before cancer", but I can look into the future and make plans again. Not for the distant future, but I can again say the words "next year", which I couldn't for a long time after my diagnosis. My "next year" plans are still tentative, as I no longer assume tomorrow, but I am more comfortable in looking towards the future. I know I am blessed in that sense....for years I only lived my life between 6 month CT scans. I am finally past that now. I don't take tomorrow for granted, but I can now at least contemplate a tomorrow.

Adriamycin #4

I had such a smooth experience with the Swedish Cancer Institute this morning. Although it was hard to get up so early, I was there by 8:35 AM despite traffic, went to the lab right away and was seated in a chemo chair, ready to get hooked up, an hour later.

I was the first patient in the infusion center, and so had the undivided attention of my nurse. The pharmacy provided all the drugs quickly and the whole experience ended around 11 AM. My friend G dropped in for a chat, so I was well-entertained. The Decadron has me talking quite a bit, but I am still ready for a nap.

Here's to Adriamycin kicking some serious cancer butt!

New Mammogram Technology

This is a 3 minute video on new 3D mammograms making it easier to spot tumors.

Bulk beer

Today I was buying Jay some beer at Sam's Club. (Yes, I know the fact that Jay asked me to buy him beer in bulk raises some interesting points, but that is not the main point of my story.) I had my wallet at the ready, because I was sure the cashier would ask for I.D. He scanned the beer, and the words, "IS MEMBER OVER AGE 27?" flashed on the cash register display.

The cashier didn't even pause for a tenth of a second before he pounded his finger down on the "yes" key, or whatever it was he pounded to allow me to buy the beer. He didn't need to think. Boop! The beer went through.

OK, seriously, Sam's Club Dude? Seriously? You didn't even need to stop for two seconds to wonder if I was, maybe, 26 and a half?

Dude.

I don't usually drink beer, but now I think I need some. In bulk.

How Am I Doing?

I’d have to say I have no pain and feel pretty good but I am very nervous about what the next day might bring. A couple of my bc friends have turned jaundice recently, a sign that their livers are failing. So every morning I wake up and it’s a look in the mirror and in the toilet. Jaundiced skin and dark urine are the common signs with liver failure. 

Of course this has left me feeling agitated and very anxious. The silly part is that I’m too afraid to ask the Onc if I’m even close to needing to worry about the metastasis in my liver. 

My energy level is good but I as I tell everyone, I’m nowhere near the spunky person I once was. My appetite is very good. Regarding sleep, I nap just about every afternoon now but I’m also up a bit later in the evening. I’m thinking of trying to cut the afternoon nap out and go to bed earlier. 

So all in all I’d say my body is doing well but I need to calm my mind a bit.

Seven hours in the cinema

What question, Tony used to ask, is this the answer to?
I guess you're thinking, O, that's what they do on Jeopardy. But Tony was Anton Kaes, a Germanist at Berkeley, and this was a seminar for professors, and he would ask this about a film from the Weimar period, or advice in a German women's magazine, and we would turn our brains around to conjecture.
Today I went to the Siskel Film Center at 2:15 and left for home at nearly 11pm, with an hour break for dinner. I sat through the four parts of Hitler: A Film From Germany, and it appears that you can watch it for free here. Tony has written about the film, but I haven't read all of his interpretation and analysis. I don't know everything that I think about it. It will take time to absorb. But it seems that the question the movie is the answer to is: How do you explain what Hitler means to Germans in a way that doesn't use the expected tools: heavy voiceover, Treaty of Versailles, runaway inflation, salutes and soldiers, tanks, extermination camp images, etc.? How do you rouse the viewers out of the torpor of their expectation of the expected? By creating new images: by a young girl in a black cloak made shiny with film loops laid on it, and she is instructing an inert puppet or doll of King Ludwig. By elaborate, theatrical sets that look like they're made up of what was in the back rooms of an antique store. By repeating the speeches of Hitler and his henchmen, and repeating that we are Hitler and Hitler is Germany. By the image of a Hamlet holding a skull marked Jude. The film is a pastiche of radio broadcasts and surreal monologues by the Nazi puppets, by an actor speaking the memories of Hitler's valet as he walks in front of zoomed photos of Hitler's offices. His "project," as the academics would say, was to find Hitler's meaning in a soul-deep way, by using music and shadow and making stage-pictures to affix themselves in your brain. The movie came out in 1977 and I wonder if it would have changed me, how it would have changed me, if I'd seen it then. I spent my junior year abroad in Paris 1976-77, and I wonder if the film was showing in Paris while I was there, or if it was released later. (See video essay on the film here.) It was shown in the US, in Chicago. If I'd seen it new, would I have dismissed it, baffled and scornful, or would I have embraced it? Would it have broke open my deep melancholia, which was a result, first of all, of my temperament, and second, of my severe doubt that I would ever be able to have the life of a writer? Would it have wakened me to the possibilities of creating a personal interpretation of art and politics? Would it have shown me that I could do what I taught myself to do later--dig into the past and shape what I found there until it became one collage-story told in my voice? Would I have made a turn and sought out my destiny in political performance art? Would it, I'm wondering, have changed my life?

Healthy Spirits: Beer of the Month Club October 2010

Now ready for pick-up!

cheers,

dave hauslein

beer manager

415-255-0610

More Clinical Trial Questions

Friday afternoon the research nurse called me at home and we chatted about last Monday’s appointment with my trials Onc. We went into great detail about my health history ... did I ever have any heart problems like heart attack, stroke, chest pain, blood clots, did I ever have high blood pressure, have trouble with bleeding ... anywhere. Have I had surgery lately, how was my energy level, what medications I’m on, namely did I take daily aspirin, blood pressure meds and a few more that I just don’t remember right now. Thankfully my answer was no to all questions.

Then we scheduled my physical examination at the clinic; it’s on October 15. It will be six hours long and will include a whole series of scans and tests. The nurse also said she’ll talk to the Onc about getting my PICC line removed. I said, maybe we should hold off on that ‘till I’m approved for the trial drug before we yank that thing out. Good idea she said.

To help keep me occupied that day, I’m gonna take my smart phone with me to surf the Net and maybe even post my first remote blog. I’ll see how it all goes.

Quit Playing Games With My Heart

Last month, I heard a delightful rumor that New Kids on the Block are going back out on tour with the Backstreet Boys. I have yet to hear if the rumor is actually true, but I'm saving up my money for front-row seats, just in case.

I have to admit that I'm a little (OK, a lot) too old for the Backstreet Boys, and I don't know anything about them. I don't know the names of any of the guys. I have no idea which one is their Donnie (the bad one), their Jon (the quiet one), their Joe (the cute one), their Jordan (the relatively talented one), or their Danny (the unpopular one that everyone tolerates). In fact, if you intermingled all of the members of the Backstreet Boys with all of the members of 'N Sync, I would have absolutely no idea who was who. Justin Timberlake was in 'N Sync, right? I think I know who he is, although if he got lost in the Backstreet Boys/'N Sync crowd, I might not be able to pick him out. They all kind of look the same.

But I do have one connection to the Backstreet Boys. I've been carrying around a secret about them for 13 years, and now I'll admit it: That one song, "Quit Playing Games with My Heart"? I think it is really, really, really good. In fact, I think I love it.

This song came out in the summer of 1997, right after I had graduated from college and started working at my first Grownup Job. The song would always come on the radio as I was carpooling to The Grownup Job with a group of Fellow Grownups, who would always roll their eyes and complain bitterly about how much they hated the song, and the Backstreet Boys in general.

"Yeah!" I'd announce, hoping I sounded convincing. "How incredibly annoying!"

The real truth was that I secretly loved "Quit Playing Games With My Heart." It was catchy, and yet it made you ache for some poor guy whose heart was at the center of some sordid game. I couldn't get it out of my head. What could I do about it, though? This was 1997. You couldn't download embarrassing music from iTunes in the privacy of your own home. If I wanted to own "Quit Playing Games With My Heart", I was going to have to go to the mall and buy the CD (or the tape, if I wanted to listen to it in my car), where I risked running into someone I knew and/or a sarcastic sales clerk. I could always come up with a cover story ("It's a birthday present for my 13-year-old niece ... who lives ... far away ... in Canada"), but I'm not a very good liar, and I'd probably choke if confronted. "It's for my nephew! I mean my niece! I mean, I REALLY LOVE THE BACKSTREET BOYS! DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

No, it was just too risky.

So I carried on my forbidden love affair with "Quit Playing Games With My Heart" in secret. We were together only at fleeting moments, usually when I was alone in the car or getting ready for work and the song would happen to come on the radio at exactly the right time. We went on like this for most of the summer, and then the radio stations gradually stopped playing the song, probably to make way for the next Backstreet Boys song. (And for the record, "I Want It That Way" is a pretty awesome song, too. You know you secretly agree.) We drifted apart.

Then I heard the news last month about the Backstreet Boys teaming up with NKOTB, and all of my memories of "Quit Playing Games With My Heart" came rushing back. Now that we live in the Modern Age, I was able to immediately download the song from iTunes. Now, at long last, I can listen to "Quit Playing Games With My Heart" as much as I want. We're back together, and it's not a secret anymore.

I'm Karen. I'm 35 years old, and I really like songs by the Backstreet Boys.

I'll take it one step further: I'm Karen. I'm 35 years old, and I realize I have really, really, really crappy taste in music. All of my pre-set radio buttons in the car are to '80s lite rock stations. I've heard the John Tesh Radio Show. More than once.

And it's all OK. I am now fully at peace with my crappy taste in music. In fact, it could have some benefits. I don't think anyone would ever steal my iPod. I always picture the iPod thief checking out my playlist and then gently setting the iPod back down, realizing that he'd been about to steal from someone with serious mental and/or emotional issues.

"Dudes," he'd say, upon returning to the Den of iPod Thieves, "she actually downloaded Clay Aiken performing 'Mack the Knife'!"

The other iPod thieves would rush to hold him as he gently wept.

Healthy Spirits: New Arrivals

1. Ninkasi Sleigh'r
2. Ninkasi Oatmeal Stout
3. Ninkasi Tricerahops
4. Ninkasi Double Red
5. Ninkasi Total Domination IPA
6. Grand Teton Trout Hop Black IPA
7. La Trappe Isad'or is back!
8. Jolly Pumpkin Bam Noire is back!

cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

Insights into the stem cells of CML

Insights into the stem cells of chronic myeloid leukemia by I Sloma, X Jiang, A C Eaves and C J Eaves, Leukemia 2010(Sep 23). [Epub ahead of print][PubMed citation]. Abstract:

Chronic myeloid leukemia (CML) has long served as a paradigm for generating new insights into the cellular origin, pathogenesis and improved approaches to treating many types of human cancer. Early studies of the cellular phenotypes and genotypes represented in leukemic populations obtained from CML patients established the concept of an evolving clonal disorder originating in and initially sustained by a rare, multipotent, self-maintaining hematopoietic stem cell (HSC). More recent investigations continue to support this model, while also revealing new insights into the cellular and molecular mechanisms that explain how knowledge of CML stem cells and their early differentiating progeny can predict the differing and variable features of chronic phase and blast crisis. In particular, these emphasize the need for new agents that effectively and specifically target CML stem cells to produce non-toxic, but curative therapies that do not require lifelong treatments.

Cancer Treatment Centers of America Webinar

I’ve been asked to share a bit of info with you ...

On Wednesday, September 29, at 6:00 PM EST, Cancer Treatments Centers of America are hosting a live webinar titled, Radiation Breakthrough: New Hope in Single Dose. It is about a new and innovative technology that helps cancer patients get well sooner and essentially get back to their lives more quickly. It’s called Intraoperative Radiation Therapy (IORT) using the Novac7 technology and it allows a single dose of radiation to be administered to a tumor bed during the time of surgery, often eliminating weeks of outpatient radiation treatments.

In this one-hour webinar, you will: : 

• Hear directly from the doctors who were the first in the United States to use this technology (Steven Standiford, MD, FACS, National Director of Surgical Oncology at CTCA; and Pablo Lavagnini, MD, Director of Radiation Oncology at CTCA) ** At the end of the webinar, Dr. Standiford and Dr. Lavagnini will be taking questions live
• Learn what IORT is and how it works
• Learn who is candidate for IORT
• Hear how IORT benefits patients from both clinical and quality of life perspectives 

To register for the event please visit www.cancercenter.com/webinar. Registration will be open until one hour prior to the event.

Brought to you by the letter M

WCK has been in kindergarten for over a month now, and life is different. I'm still sort of a stay-at-home mom, but not really a stay-at-home mom. I'm sort of, a little bit of a working mom (I'm doing a bit of freelancing right now), but not really a working mom. I am busy -- really -- but I'm not quite sure where the day goes. I think I spend a lot of time talking to myself and then wondering why the house is not spotlessly clean after I spent the past five years of my life repeating to myself, nearly hourly, "As soon as she goes to kindergarten, THE HOUSE WILL BE SPOTLESSLY CLEAN!"

Yeah. I'm staring at a sink of dirty dishes right now. It didn't happen.

And here's another surprising thing: Kindergarten has changed in the past 30 years. When I went to kindergarten, it lasted three hours. We were expected to show up, color pictures of Humpty Dumpty, eat a cookie, and try not to wet our pants. It was not a tough curriculum. Now, kindergarten lasts all day. They have P.E. and music and art and Spanish and computer lab. They start reading by the second week. And now kindergartners have homework.

I clearly remember not getting official homework until fourth grade. I remember this, because in third grade, I desperately wanted to have homework like the older kids. I imagined myself, sitting peacefully at home, working on my homework like a mature adult, appearing smart and worldly. "I cannot play," I would say to my younger sister. "I have homework, something a mere child like you could never understand." I would do my math problems as slowly as possible at school, just so I'd have no choice but to finish them up at home, as my mature, intelligent homework. My teacher figured out what I was doing and told me to knock it off. And that was the end of that.

But WCK started bringing home homework this week, and she's only five years old. The first few days were painless. One day was a worksheet where she had to identify shapes and color them certain colors. The next day, she had to bring in something that started with the letter M. She picked a monkey mask, which I felt should have gotten her extra credit. The third day, she had to take an apple to school. It was a breeze!

Then, last night, she had to write 10 capital letter M's and 10 lower-case letter M's. WCK hates handwriting. Hates it, hates it, hates it. It's been her chief weakness since her first year of preschool. I haven't pushed it a whole lot, because it just wasn't very fun.

But there we were, faced with 20 letter M's for this required homework assignment. I love my child, but trying to help her write the letter M 20 times was an absolute nightmare. Couldn't we start with something simple, like O? I never knew how had it was to write the letter M. I now know why I'm not a teacher and why I do not home school my child. WCK and I make a great mother-daughter pair in nearly every other way, but we cannot write lower-case M's together. It's like how you really, really love your husband, but when you have to go grocery shopping together, you begin to wonder, somewhere around the spaghetti-sauce aisle, if you can get the marriage annulled.

After about 15 harrowing minutes, we finished the M assignment. Thank God. I'm very hopeful the teacher will not expect the kids to learn any more letters for the remainder of the year. That's totally possible, right?

OK, fine! I'm here! I'm here!

My in-box has been flooded with complaints about my non-updated blog. Well, OK, it was, like, two friends saying, "Hey, what's up with your blog lately?" but I figure that's about 99 percent of my readership, so I'd better get moving. I'm totally fine -- just lazy.

Speaking of lazy, so's my M-spike. I got my latest results last week, and it made a meager drop from 3.0 to 2.9. In other words, it just sat there on its big M-spike butt and didn't do anything. That's not necessarily a bad thing. It's not a super good thing, but not a super bad thing, either. The good news is, I'm no longer anemic! I admit that I cheated on my blood test by eating red meat for an entire week, but apparently that works. Thank you, Five Guys Burgers and Fries!

This means that Bon Jovi gets to stay at his current level of shirtlessness. Again, I suppose it depends on your point of view whether this is a good thing or a bad thing:



And I promise to go back to blogging more. I have a couple of things to write about, but I invite you to send me topics so that I never suffer from blogger's block again. Like Michael Scott on The Office, I'm a wizard at improv.

Using the cancer card

I was riding my bike to the Belmont L and had stopped at the light at Belmont and Sheffield. I felt someone bump against my basket. Some guy who was maybe in his 40s with blondish hair and a t-shirt wearing a belligerent attitude. You're in the crosswalk, he said, rather heatedly. I was. I hadn't meant to be. And I hadn't expected people to walk across the street without looking. He was irate. I said, Peace on earth. He was already at the curb. What did you say? What did you say? Peace on earth, I said. Peace on earth? He walked back toward me. I've got plenty of peace. You shouldn't be stopped between these lines. See this line? You're stupid. Stupid! I thought he was going to slug me. I thought I was going to slug him. He went back to the curb. Peace on earth, I said. The light changed.

I was upset. I was mad. I thought later I should have used the cancer card: You rammed into my bike and I have blood cancer! But that seemed a stretch. That night I went to my desk at Smart U, a communal desk that I'd been squatting in for about three years, and the drawers were locked. There was a vase of flowers (kind of droopy but still bright pink) and a welcome note to someone other than Cancer Bitch, who was now occupying this space. Where was all my stuff? My assiduously collected pile of scratch paper, a few books I'd meant to bring home, originals for course packets. Beyond that, I felt displaced. Because--I had been displaced. Without a note or warning.

Later I went upstairs to the office of Smart U's magazine and there was the box of my precious stuff: a cloth bag, the papers, the hot pot I never use. Some ginseng tea. At least They hadn't thrown everything away.

Today I was on my way to Smart U and thinking about what I would say to the Paper-and-Stuff-Removal Guy: I've been around here instead of the other office for the last few months because I'm getting treatment around the corner three times a week for symptoms caused by blood cancer. Of incurable blood cancer! And why didn't you email me about moving me stuff? I have incurable blood cancer! Give me back my drawer!

I was getting so worked up about the incurable part. I had never put it that way before. I do have incurable blood cancer. Polycythemia is chronic. There's no cure. Therefore, not curable. I kept getting sadder and sadder. People have leukemia and they get over it. They're cured. They're in remission. It's gone. PV is never gone. There's the joke (dead serious) about advice to med students: Become an allergist. They never get better and they never die. Except people with PV die, die early, though lately the word is that we could have a near-normal life span. Just gotta watch out for clots. That move up from your legs into your lung or brain and then--

out like a candle.










For info on ordering an actual cancer charge card (pictured at top), click here.

Healthy Spirits: New Arrivals

1. Kwak Glassware!
2. Bruton '10'
3. Bruton Stoner
4. Unibroue Terrible
5. Port Brewing Witches' Wit
6. Napa Smith "Cool Brew"
7. Val Dieu Brown
8. Val Dieu Triple
9. Val Dieu Grand Cru
10. Van Steenberge Witches' Brew

cheers,

dave hauslein
beer manager
415-255-0610

Critical molecular pathways in CSCs of CML

Critical molecular pathways in cancer stem cells of chronic myeloid leukemia by Y Chen, C Peng, C Sullivan, D Li and S Li, Leukemia 2010(Sep); 24(9): 1545-54. Epub 2010 Jun 24. [Connotea bookmark][PubMed citation][Full text]. The abstract of this OA review:

Inhibition of BCR-ABL with kinase inhibitors in the treatment of Philadelphia-positive (Ph(+)) chronic myeloid leukemia (CML) is highly effective in controlling but not curing the disease. This is largely due to the inability of these kinase inhibitors to kill leukemia stem cells (LSCs) responsible for disease relapse. This stem cell resistance is not associated with the BCR-ABL kinase domain mutations resistant to kinase inhibitors. Development of curative therapies for CML requires the identification of crucial molecular pathways responsible for the survival and self-renewal of LSCs. In this review, we will discuss our current understanding of these crucial molecular pathways in LSCs and the available therapeutic strategies for targeting these stem cells in CML.

Day 3 of Adriamycin #3

Even with the reduced dose of steroids at Monday's chemo, I have had a bounce of energy for the past few days. I also got some good sleep, with the help of Ativan. I will try to taper off it tonight so that I can start up again next Monday.

Because it was a lovely evening, we ate dinner in the sukkah last night. Today, of course, it's raining, and that might have been our last meal in the sukkah for a few days. It was just us, but I made a delicious roast chicken with zucchini strips marinated in preserved lemon, garlic, and salt, and tossed with pine nuts. We made kiddush over juice made from our very small grape harvest, barely half a glass each.

If anyone has tips on how to improve the quantity of our grapes, I am open for tips. I only know we have sweet, green grapes, not the type. The arbor is full of leaves and vines, but we got very little fruit this year. (Had a bumper crop last year.)

I did a little cooking today since I am bringing a meal to a sick family (zucchini minestrone and bread). Plus I started some cookie dough that can be frozen for a few days and baked up fresh, and made some spiced nuts.

I guess I have more energy than I realized!

Be More Positive … Arggg!

Yesterday I visited my Chiro to have my tight calves stretched and massaged. After some small talk he said, I sure can see that you are being more positive … referring to my attitude dealing with cancer … I guess.

Of course the hair on the back of my neck stood up because I’ve heard more than enough times that I should try and be more positive … so just the sound of the word makes me defensive. Anyways, I said yes I probably am but that is likely because I haven’t had chemo in a couple of months and I’m feeling more like my old self. My energy is up, the world isn’t so foggy.

I need to rant … When you are on chemo; you’re way too tired to put on a smiley face for everyone. That doesn’t mean you are a negative person. It’s just means that putting on a false front for the world is not a priority. Most times, it’s that simple.

Breast Reconstruction: New Video Discusses Latest Breast Reconstruction Options

Breast reconstruction surgery restores something that nature has provided but cancer has taken away.

Unfortunately, most American women with breast cancer do not even realize they have the option of breast reconstruction after mastectomy or lumpectomy.

Breast reconstruction is not a cosmetic procedure.... it is every woman's right: it restores something that nature has provided but cancer has taken away. It is also covered by insurance thanks to a Federal Mandate passed in 1998.

Despite this mandate, studies alarmingly show that only 30% of women facing mastectomy are even offered the option of breast reconstruction.

Women have many reconstructive options after mastectomy or lumpectomy. These range from breast implants to "autologous" techniques which use the patient's own tissue to recreate a more "natural", warm, soft breast. The nipple and areola (the darker area surrounding the nipple) can also be recreated.

Mysterious Blue Lights

[Andrew Nelles photo}

Lately I noticed that some buildings in the Loop had blue lights on top and I couldn't figure out why. It couldn't be for Halloween, and I don't associate Columbus Day (Indigenous Peoples Day in Berkeley) with any color at all except maybe those of the Italian flag. Which aren't blue. After ROW practice on Monday, as we sat on the outside patio of the nearby Gem Bar (No Sam Adams, no Goose Island, we're not the North Side--said nicely) someone mentioned that the blue lights were actually were teal, for Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month, which is September. Then today's Trib had a piece on it. There's a fundraiser Friday night. Some of our rowers have ovarian, uterine and other cancers. Some have what's called "mets," which means their cancer has metastasized. And some still row. And some don't.

Canadian Cancer Society ~ Edmonton & Area Volunteer Opportunities

As per their website, the CCS is looking for volunteers …

Get involved! Volunteer with the Canadian Cancer Society and make a difference.

The ability to help is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. And one of the most effective ways of helping people fight cancer is by volunteering your time and talents. By choosing to join forces with us in this struggle, you can make a significant difference in your community.

Jail-N-Bail - October 20 and 21, 2010

Being on the wrong side of the law for the right cause is what it's all about during the Canadian Cancer Society Jail-N-Bail. It’s all in good fun and it’s for a great cause. To maintain law and order during Jail-N-Bail, the Canadian Cancer Society is looking for volunteers.

Volunteer drivers

As a volunteer driver you will pick patients up from their home and take them to the Cross Cancer Institute for treatment appointments.

CancerConnection - Peer support volunteers

CancerConnection is a telephone peer support program that matches cancer patients and caregivers with survivors and others who have had similar cancer journeys. Volunteers are required on an ongoing basis to provide emotional support to newly diagnosed cancer patients.

For more information about volunteering opportunities with us, please contact Hayley Orton, Volunteer Resources Coordinator at (780) 437-8418 or by e-mail at hayley.orton@cancer.ab.ca.

Heat it to Beat It Update!

I read on the Heat it to Beat It web site that the event was even more successful than first thought! It turned out 500 attended (250 were initially expected), and while the goal was (I thought) to raise $50,000 for research, $90,000 was raised. How great is that!

One of Dr. Sardi's and Heat it to Beat It's goals was to raise awareness for cytoreduction surgery and HIPEC (heated intraperitoneal chemotherapy) as a proven treatment to prolong life and to potentially cure those diagnosed with cancers that have spread into the abdomen from several different primary sources including the appendix, the ovaries, colon, rectum, peritoneum and stomach. For many years, these cancers, once spread into the abdomen, have been considered terminal and untreatable, with IV chemo only used to prolong life for awhile.  When I first became a nurse, before CT, PET and MRI scans, patients had "exploratory laparotomies", abdominal surgeries to look inside their abdomens to find the problem.  When cancer was found, they were closed up, and referred to hospice when they were finally awake.  There was no attempt to treat their disease.  It was terminal.

Dr. Sardi has several long-term survivors of 10 years, 16 years etc. I met a woman on the walk who was diagnosed with advanced primary peritoneal cancer 2 1/2 years ago who is now cancer free and healthy after being treated with cytoreduction surgery and HIPEC. Her sister died of the same cancer just before she was diagnosed; she did not receive these treatments. Most of those with advanced primary peritoneal cancer survive only 3-6 months without treatment.

The sad thing is, I communicate still with many who after diagnosis are told they have no treatment options and only six months to a year to live. My goal is to convince them to self-refer to a HIPEC specialist. I know they love and trust their local doctors, but their local doctors just don't know. Much of the medical community is unaware of this treatment. Some in the medical community are vaguely aware of the procedure, but don't know much about it and think it's experimental. Many insurance companies don't see it as a "standard of care" treatment so refuse to cover it.

We all (myself included) need to be more vocal. If we have the procedure done and are doing well, we need to go back to those in the medical community who told us we were untreatable and show them that thanks to this treatment, we have survived. When we see our GPs or other doctors, we need to tell them about our procedure and survival. We need to spread the word!

My dream is that one day this will be seen as "standard of care" for our cancers. Insurance companies cover treatments that are "standard of care" for an illness. Many other cancers, like breast cancers, have a "standard of care", in a sense a recipe for treatment that is accepted by all in the medical community. If a hospital or doctor was unable to provide the accepted "standard of care" for a breast cancer patient, he or she would be obligated to send the patient to someone who was able to provide the standard of care or be legally liable for denying that care to their patient.

One cool thing, I have a stat counter on my home web site. I can see who has viewed it. I haven't checked in a really long time, but decided to look at it today. Ten medical facilities and several insurance companies viewed my www.appendix-cancer.com website just today, along with several universities. My web site is all about cytoreduction surgery and HIPEC treatments for our cancers. Maybe, just maybe, one health care facility decided to refer a patient to a HIPEC specialist. Maybe, just maybe, one insurer covered the procedure for a patient. I hope so.

But I need to "put my money where my mouth is". A surgical oncologist at large university hospital renowned for cancer treatment told me I was untreatable and terminal 9 years ago. I self-referred to a specialist and am alive 9 years later. I need to talk to him, to tell him that yes; there was treatment for me after all. That no, I didn't die, I lived to raise my kids to adulthood in spite of his predictions. There was something out there for me he didn't know about, and if he has other patients like myself, he needs to refer them to a specialist.

We all need to work towards that goal, for all who will follow us.  We need to create our own grass roots movement, to make it easier for those who will travel our path.

For those who need nipples...

[reconstructed breasts, no nipples yet, photo from smartplasticsurgery.com]
Serena Lander reports that she will be back in Chicago Oct. 15 to work on tattooing nipples for women who have had breast reconstruction. She's also available for consultation.

My Yom Kippur appeal

I was asked to give the fundraising appeal at Congregation Beth Shalom this year during erev Yom Kippur. I am pleased and proud to report that our community stepped up to pledge $75000, $10,000 more than I asked for. In these tough economic times, I am grateful to all those who were able to be so generous.

In addition to the financial success, we received more than 162 volunteer card responses, a greater than 50% increase over last year. The commitment of our members to make our shul their Jewish home away from home humbles me.

Here's what I said:

My name is Jill Cohen, and it is my honor to be president of the Beth Shalom board.

Each year we chant, Berosh Hashanah yikateivun; uve’yom tzom kippur yichateimun: On Rosh Hashanah it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed. How many shall leave this world and how many shall be born into it? Who shall live and who shall die?

On Yom Kippur we are all the same. We are asked to face our mortality so that we can examine our lives. I’d like to share with you how belonging to Beth Shalom for me supports me in choosing a life of meaning, of spirituality, and of community.

You see, I have stage IV, metastatic breast cancer. Just over eight years ago, I learned that my cancer had come back and spread into my bones, and now my liver. I had to face the new normal of daily life with cancer. I had to face my own mortality every day.

I’m not alone in this. Many in our community live with cancer and many of us have lost loved ones to cancer. Many live with other life-shortening, chronic illnesses.

Many people have the luxury of pretending that they are in control, that life will always tick on the way it has. We who live with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses have been forced to realize that control is an illusion. We have to think every day about the hard questions: How long will we live? When will we die? And yet somehow we must also live a meaningful life.

When I retired on medical disability eight years ago, I lost my daily routine and the sense of self-worth that came from doing work I loved. At first I started coming to shul on Shabbat to give myself a new routine. Then I came for the sense of community, for the delight in singing together, because I love to sing. When I sing with my community, I feel joy and am connected to others. When leading services as the shlicha tzibur I feel even closer to that spiritual experience we call God. The more joy I found in the regular practice of prayer and song, in communal gathering, the more active I became at shul. The more I volunteered, the more connected I felt to Beth Shalom and our members. One thing led to another, until I stand here tonight as your president, living my life in community, with community and for community.

A few years ago, when I was asked to serve as president, my cancer was more or less under control. This year my cancer got noisy. Last September my ongoing battle with swelling in my left hand, called lymphedema, acted up. A year later it’s still not quite back to normal. In December and February I had surgery. On our way home after the first Pesach seder, I fell and dislocated my left elbow. A long, slow recovery left me with almost, but not quite, full extension of my left arm. And I’m left-handed! In May I began chemotherapy and was diagnosed with depression. A second chemotherapy drug caused me ten days of painful mouth sores and weeks of blistered, burned hands and feet. The third chemotherapy drug, which I began at the end of August, has been tolerable so far, and we hope it will be effective. To top it all off, on my husband Rik’s 50th birthday, we had to euthanize our beloved fifteen-year-old dog Pumpkin who worked for several years as my service animal.

Nu, why am I listing my sorrows for you? Whether I experienced surgery, chemotherapy or radiation, on any day that I needed to lift my spirits, I could count on members of Beth Shalom to be there for me and my family. When times were hard for Rik and I, in the past twelve months and over the years, Beth Shalom was there with meals, phone calls, visits and loving care. Surrounded by community, I have been able to mourn my father, grieve the loss of friends, and celebrate personal milestones.

Speaking of personal milestones: Rik and I both turned 50 this year, and as a woman living with advanced cancer, I wasn’t sure that would happen. How did I celebrate? Here in this community, with an aliyah to the Torah. I celebrated my eighth anniversary of living with metastatic cancer in August and stood on this bimah again, grateful to have another aliyah, to receive blessings from the Rabbi and the entire community. Rik and I also celebrated that milestone with plenty of chocolate, known in our home as “Vitamin CH.”

In the last six years of chairing our fundraising committee, I have been awed by our community’s response to appeals for a balanced budget. For a second year in a row our congregation ended the last fiscal year in the black. We are slowly beginning to repay to ourselves the money we borrowed six years ago.

Far from feeling burdened by the role of president, I have taken Rabbi Borodin’s advice to heart. She said not to serve because I think I’ll do a good job, or because I’m concerned no one else will take it on. “Serve because it will bring you joy.”

Meeting new faces, deepening my current relationships, praying communally, and serving you is joyful and life-affirming to me. I know that after hearing my story, some of you will want to help me by cooking a meal, offering a ride, or otherwise helping me personally. There has been, and there will be again, a time for that kind of help. Tonight, if you want to help me, you can do so by helping our synagogue community.

It is my goal, as president of our synagogue, to only ask for your financial support two times a year. Tonight is one of those times.

Tonight I have the privilege of asking you to invest and make a commitment in our community, our collective Jewish home. This year our goal is to raise $65,000. All the money you give tonight will support the general operations of the synagogue. Our dues cover only half of the synagogue’s operating expenses. Beth Shalom has taught me that Jews take care of community in good times and in bad. In this time of continued economic uncertainty, it’s more important than ever to give of your financial resources and of your time.

When you decide how much to give tonight, please picture the following:

• Imagine your donation as an investment in children beginning a lifetime of Jewish experiences. Although cancer prevented Rik and I from becoming parents, we still believe in the value of a strong Jewish education for our community’s youth.

• Think of the singles, couples and families living their Jewish life as part of our synagogue. Many of us at Beth Shalom are new to Seattle and have no family here. The next time you come to pray, chat at a communal meal, or volunteer to serve, you might begin a lifelong friendship with someone and create a “family of the heart” for yourself.

• Imagine how our members face the loss of a loved one or the challenge of a serious illness. Our community can give you the same comfort and strength that Rik and I received.

Here is how we’re going to make the pledges. Some of you brought your appeal cards with your ticket tonight. As you entered the building, others were given an envelope. Inside it are two cards. If you did not get an envelope, please raise your hand and a volunteer will bring one to you.

The white card is for your financial contribution. Fold over the tab on the dollar amount you want to give. Feel free to use several tabs to add up to the amount you want.

The blue card is for your spiritual contribution as a volunteer. Fold the tabs to choose how you want to be involved in our community.

The pink card is for Project Kesher: Connecting Beth Shalom. We want to know, “How connected do you feel to other people at Beth Shalom?” My goal for this year is to deepen our connections to one another through Project Kesher, bringing members closer together through special interests and activities. If you haven’t already marked the spot that most closely matches your answer, please do so after Yom Kippur and return the card to the shul office. A Project Kesher volunteer will contact you to follow up.

You make me proud to serve you, a community that is spiritually uplifting, generous, and nurturing of us all.

The Torah instructs us to choose life. For me, Jewish service was my choice of career and is my choice of life, meaning and joy. Gmar hatimah tovah, may we all be be sealed in the book of life for a good and healthy new year.

If this moves you as well, and you would like to make a donation to Congregation Beth Shalom, mail a check to 6800 35th Avenue NE, Seattle WA 98115, or click on our web site to donate online via credit card.

is this my daily dose of happiness?

My doctors hope so.

The ubiquitous Prozac pill- do you recognise it? I have graduated from the green-and-white 20mg to the more formidable orange-and-blue 40mg. I like the new color; it reminds me of Karl's s/s 2007 pill dresses for Chanel. No doubt he designed the collection with "afflicted" society darlings in mind, but it would be equally fitting for any cancer-afflicted fashionista.


(feel free to gift this charm bracelet to me any time ^_^)

My history with antidepressants is a long one- I started having intense bouts of depression in my late teens/early 20's, presumably when hormones kicked in with a steel toe and sent my body and mind awry. I call these bouts "The Black Hole"-- it is exactly what it sounds like-- being sucked into an enormous vacuous hole of anxiety and self-worthlessness, drowning in it, feeling the weight of entire universes collapsing on top of you... the usual. Whilst in the hole I lose all of the grounding perspective I'd normally have in day-to-day life. I want to die at that moment, things are so painful. I'm well aware that it's all in my head. Over time I've learned to bear it, let it run its course like a fever, and in a few days I am usually feeling better.

These little pills are my daily bread. They help patch up the holes.

Another Onc Appointment

Yesterday I had an appointment with my new trials Onc. The app was very short. He asked me if I had read the consent form for the proposed study drug … I said yes. And then he asked if I had any questions. I said no and he said are you sure? … and I said yes.

That was pretty well it. He said the research nurse would get a hold of me to witness signing the consent forms. Ugg! even more waiting to get this show on the road.

These appointments cause so much stress and coming out of this one with so little just sucks .. ok, ok, I’m a little low on patience right now.

a wild and crazy goal

I have been overwhelmed and touched by all the donations I've collected for the Run for the Cure.

Our team, No Pink for Profit, has more than thirty members.

I'm - ahem - tickled pink.

I've raised $1,558.00, way more than I'd anticipated. And maybe all this generosity and enthusiasm have made me delirious but I've begun to wonder, "what if I could make it an even $2000.00?"

What do you think? Is it possible? Want to help?

Must the last CML cell be killed?

Do we have to kill the last CML cell? DM Ross, TP Hughes and JV Melo, Leukemia 2010(Sep 16) [Epub ahead of print][FriendFeed entry][PubMed citation][Full text]. The abstract of this OA review:

Previous experience in the treatment of chronic myeloid leukaemic (CML) has shown that the achievement of clinical, morphological and cytogenetic remission does not indicate eradication of the disease. A complete molecular response (CMR; no detectable BCR-ABL mRNA) represents a deeper level of response, but even CMR is not a guarantee of elimination of the leukaemic, because the significance of CMR is determined by the detection limit of the assay that is used. Two studies of imatinib cessation in CMR are underway, cumulatively involving over 100 patients. The current estimated rate of stable CMR after stopping imatinib is approximately 40%, but the duration of follow-up is relatively short. The factors that determine relapse risk are yet to be identified. The intrinsic capacity of any residual leukaemic cells to proliferate following the withdrawal of treatment may be important, but there may also be a role for immunological suppression of the leukaemic clone. No currently available test can formally prove that the leukaemic clone is eradicated. Here we discuss the sensitive measurement of minimal residual disease, and speculate on the biology of BCR-ABL-positive cells that may persist after effective therapy of CML.

Christopher Hitchens, still God-free

[Christopher Hitchens, AP photo]
I'm dying, and so are you, Hitchens told his audience in Alabama. His esophageal cancer has metastasized, but still an atheist, and doesn't mind if people pray for him to get better. If it makes them feel better, it's fine with him. Read more here.

I would say just about the same things, except no one's asking me. I am sorry that he has cancer.

Shout Out To ~ Alberta Caregivers Association Convention

The convention is an opportunity for caregivers, and the individuals and agencies who work with caregivers, to contribute their experiences and expertise in the development of a provincial caregiver strategy.

As per their website …

We are an organization of caregivers for caregivers that helps them maintain their own well-being over the caregiving journey. We offer information, education, support, networking, advocacy, and community development to make caregivers' lives less difficult.

The ACGA will be holding a Caregivers Convention in Edmonton on October 22, 2010 and in Calgary on October 29, 2010. 

You should consider attending, if you:

• have experienced or witnessed the frustration, exhaustion, and rewards of providing care for a loved one
• have had difficulties finding or accessing services and supports for caregivers
• would like to see an Alberta where caregivers are recognized, valued and supported

For more information about the convention visit:

http://www.albertacaregivers.org/register_convention2010.html

chronically whiny

I always think it's going to be different.

I say to myself, "This round of treatment, I will exercise and write and continue with my daily routine and see if that makes me feel better."

And thent, in the days that follow each dose of vinorelbine and Herceptin, I stay in bed too sick to do anything and lacking the self-discipline (motivation?) to try getting exercise, writing or going about my daily routine.

I don't even bother to eat well (although the soup I made the night before chemo was delicious and easy to heat up, so I did eat lots of that) or even do the easy things that might help (I was on the phone with my writing buddy and she asked if I'd been drinking hot water with lemon and ginger. Easy to prepare and she swears by it, yet I had completely forgotten).

I don't even drink enough water.

I just wait until the weekend when I know I'll feel better (unless I get sick, as I did yesterday and had to miss dinner with friends and my beloved book club).

I'm fed up.

Fed up with losing a week out of every month.

Fed up with having to constantly worry about my energy levels and not overdoing.

Fed up with not  having answers and having to worry.

Sometimes I amuse myself (and no one else) by announcing, "I'm done. That's it!"

But I don't really mean it. 

I know where I'd be if it weren't for all the chemo and the Herceptin. And I know that it's worth it.

And who knows? Maybe next time will be different.

Heat it to Beat It!



Beginning of the walk



I participated in Heat it to Beat It today, and I thought it was phenomenal!  Initially I was told 250 were expected to participate, then 300....I think over 400 showed up!  For a first time event, I was SO impressed.  They had a DJ, warm up dancing before the walk, lots of refreshments, a beautiful walk along the Inner Harbor and lots offered after (chair massages, acupuncture etc.).  Part of the focus of the walk was to raise awareness for the newer treatments for peritoneal surface malignancies; cancers from multiple sources (appendix, colon, ovarian etc.) that spread into the abdomen that were and are still sometimes considered "terminal" on diagnosis by much of the medical community.  I was one who was  considered terminal on diagnosis by a renowned university hospital in a major city, a hospital known for it's great cancer care...but I am a nine year survivor.  I am a survivor only because I did my research and self-referred to a specialist 750 miles from my home.  Many patients who receive cytoreduction surgery and intraperitoneal chemotherapy survive for many years....but much of the medical community is unfamiliar with this treatment.  Insurance companies unfamiliar with the treatment don't want to cover it.  We need to change that.  I get emotional every time I think that I got to raise my kids to adulthood after initially being told I would abandon them while they were still in grade school.

I loved getting to meet Dr. Sardi.  I truly admire him as he is willing to take on even those of us with massive disease and high grade tumors, the "tough" cases...not everyone, not even all specialists, will.  I am a nurse so also understand that the HIPEC specialists could have much easier lives and make much more money doing other "simpler" surgeries.  The long surgeries (some HIPEC specialist have spent up to 22 hours in surgery for a single case) makes me know they do it for reasons other than the money...there are much easier ways for them to make more money.  They care.  They want to help us.

Here are some pictures from the walk (hope I do this right, I'm not used to adding photos to my posts...bear with me!


Dr. Sardi



A Team



In Memory Of



Dancing "warm up" for the walk

I understand that this is the first of many future "Heat it to Beat It" walks, and in light of my experience here today, I think I may possibly commute to Maryland annually!

Another Angel Is In Heaven

My friend Claudette, a fellow cancer fighter passed away late Friday evening.

I met Claudette about a year ago at a cancer support group. The class was about to begin when I said, I’m going to get a coffee before we get started and this lady jumped up and said I’m going to get one too. It didn’t take long before we got to know each other quit well. Claudette was a wonderful, outgoing lady in her early 60’s, who 6 months earlier been diagnosed with stage 4 bile duct cancer and that chemotherapy and radiation were not an option.

With our love of a good cup of coffee, it didn’t take long before we started meeting weekly at the local Second Cup. We felt really comfortable with each and chatted about everything … nothing was off limits.

Claudette was an amazing cook and one of the things she wanted to do before she died was to collect all her recipes and compile a recipe book that she could pass on to her children. I remember her bringing a laptop to coffee and we had a look at her first draft. She had about 150 recipes all grouped by category. She had gone to the internet and found pictures to go with each one. It was quite the accomplishment. She was so proud and when the final version came back from the printer, she was just beaming. 

As Claudette became weaker, I started visiting her at home. I fondly remember sitting with her in her beautiful back yard overlooking the ravine. It was always picture perfect with blooming flowers, birds flying in and out of the bird bath and the calming sounds of a water fountain. Her backyard was even featured in a popular magazine. 

These last four months have been difficult for Claudette; as her tumors grew, she had to go in for more and more procedures. Thankfully that is all over now and she will not suffer any more.

Rest in peace my coffee buddy.