Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Santa was invented to get kids to go to bed

I know it's wrong, but one of the reasons I love December is that I can invoke the name of Santa to get my child to do anything. I always vowed I would never do this. Now I do it about every five minutes during the Advent season.

All other parents agree with me. You don't have to admit it out loud, but I know you do.

Just tonight, WCK was not cooperating with hair-washing in the bathtub.

"All right," I said calmly, rising to my feet and starting to walk out of the bathroom, "just let me get Santa on the phone."

"No!" shrieked WCK. "DO NOT CALL SANTA!" And she let me wash her hair.

A few nights ago, we were playing at a very fun place called Fun Run. The name of the place pretty much sums it up. It's one of those places with a bunch of inflatables to bounce on, cool play houses to climb in, etc. If that wasn't fun enough, Santa Claus showed up and all the kids went wild. WCK took a break from playing to have her turn on his lap and get her picture taken. After we'd been there for several hours, I told WCK multiple times that it was time to go home. She refused and kept right on running.

"Look, WCK," I said, "Santa is RIGHT OVER THERE. I will walk over to him RIGHT NOW and tell him you can't follow directions!"

And ... we were able to go home immediately.

I can't help but wonder what would have happened had she called my bluff. Would Santa have had a sense of humor about my reporting my daughter to him? Oh, I so deserve a lump of coal.

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