The Santa Experience

I think WCK is getting all Santa-ed out. She has Santa fatigue.

We saw him the first time this season a few weeks ago, when he showed up unexpectedly at Fun Run while WCK was playing with her friends. She went wild with excitement and practically stalked the poor man until she was able to go tell him what she wanted for Christmas.

Shortly after that, she got in the car one day after school and told me that Santa and Mrs. Claus had visited her school that day. There was a candy cane in her backpack to prove it. She was happy about the Santa visit, but slightly less excited, and she still hasn't eaten the candy cane.

After that, we passed by Santa at two different malls/shopping areas, and WCK had absolutely no interest in going to see him. Little did WCK know, I'd already signed us up for "The Santa Experience."

Yes. Nowadays, it's not good enough to go visit a Santa at a mall. You must sign up in advance for "The Santa Experience."

Do not ask how much I paid for "The Santa Experience." I will not tell you. Let's just hope that WCK's future employer values life experience (in the form of, say, a Santa Experience), because the child can no longer afford to go to college.

After an elf checked us in, we were guided to the first area of "The Santa Experience" The kids got special stationery and wrote letters to Santa. WCK patiently sat in her little chair and printed "BABY DOLL" and "HANNAH MONTANA" on her stationery. I might have coached her a little bit, because I said I had a feeling that Santa might bring her those things. Then an elf put her letter in the Magic Mailbox. When the Magic Mailbox was opened, it made a roaring, vacuum-cleaner-like sound and shot artificial snow everywhere. It was pretty dang cool, but it made WCK a little nervous.

Stop two on "The Santa Experience": We decorated a little picture frame shaped like a Christmas tree. Of course, I didn't order an Official Photo small enough to fit in our Official Frame, because by the time I got to the photo-ordering booth (stop six), the frame-making activity had been erased from my memory. Fortunately, Santa personally autographed our tree frame, so I can probably sell it for big bucks on e-Bay.

Stop three: The visit with Santa himself. WCK actually protested this. "But I already saw Santa!" she said. She did have a good point. She'd met with him. She'd said her piece. He'd agreed to her terms. Why did she have to tell him again? I finally coaxed her into the Santa room, and then Santa enticed her with some candy canes. We did get a cute picture, but I wondered what I was doing, encouraging my child to go hang out with a stranger who offers her candy.

Stop four: Cookie decorating with Mrs. Claus. Each kid got a big sugar cookie and got to decorate it with different colors of icing, under the careful supervision of Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus said that most kids eat about half their cookie. WCK ate the whole thing, because she's an over-achiever, and because it was about an hour past our lunch time by the time we got to the cookie room. Poor Mrs. Claus was sporting a broken arm in a sling, which she said she'd gotten from ...

Stop five: A very slippery room filled with artificial snow. That's right. Mrs. Claus said the snow was made from a combination of flour, water, and a secret formula imported from Japan. I don't know what the secret formula was, but the snow actually felt cold. It didn't melt. It was sort of a gel-like substance. It freaked me out a little bit, especially since it was slippery as heck and had already taken down Mrs. Claus, but the kids LOVED. THE. SNOW. If an elf hadn't gently reminded us an hour or so later that Santa needed to leave to feed his reindeer, we'd probably be there still.

Stop six: This is where I forked over WCK's college fund for a photo of her with Santa. Of course, she looks very cute in her picture with Santa. The two of us were able to go out for a nice lunch together, and I can promise her that we'll never have to speak to Santa again. Isn't that what Christmas is all about?