I spent most of today in a drug-induced slumber.
I reported for duty at the City of Hope at 7:00 am for my 8:00 bone marrow biopsy, a procedure that involves a large needle thrust directly into the hip bone to extract the milky marrow. It's the closest I'll probably ever come to Medieval torture or a stay at Guantanamo Bay.
All joking aside, my doctor is very skilled at this procedure and it's only excruciating for about eight seconds. (My friend Bill, a fellow lymphomaniac, tells me that his doctor has him count backwards from eight during the painful part.)
Who couldn't deal with eight seconds of pain? Apparently, me. When the coordinator encouraged me to try sedation, I thought, "Why not?"
The anesthesiologist administered a drug called Propofol, or "Vitamin P," as my doctor calls it. I was making z's within two seconds of the time that the doctor pushed the milky syrum into my veins. Fifteen minutes later (five minutes after the ten-minute procedure was complete) I was wide awake. No grogginess. No fuzzy thinking. No desire to return to the Land of Nod.
I felt as refreshed as though I had slept for ten hours straight. The nurse told me that many patients dream and talk in their sleep during the fifteen minutes under, so the drug must instantly trigger a deep REM sleep.
But don't tell anyone. If word gets out about Vitamin P, it could be the next illicit street drug. Just imagine the applications. Sleep-deprived parents. Cramming college students. Anyone wishing to sleep through 15 minutes of boredom, pain or grief.
After the bone marrow biopsy, I crossed the hall to the infusion room for my quarterly infusion of Rituxan, a drug that is successfully extending my remission. The nurse pushed Benadryl through my veins, and I slept a restless 90 minutes and woke up groggy. This continued for the next three hours. Sleep. Grogginess. Sleep. Grogginess. And so the cycle continued.
What I need is another 15 minutes of solid "Vitamin P" sleep, but I'll have to wait another year before I get it.
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