I like being unimportant

I just read a really interesting article published by the Mayo Clinic called Treatment of Myeloma: Cure vs Control. The article talks about the big debate in myeloma treatment: Is it better to go with the big, heavy-duty treatment to try to get that zero M-spike? Or should you treat the disease as a chronic, manageable condition with as little treatment as possible? Mayo leans toward the chronic approach, unless you have a really aggressive form of myeloma.

Here was the best part (and if you're not a myeloma nerd, "monoclonal protein" is the same as "M-spike"): " ... a small monoclonal protein (minimal residual disease) is not in itself clinically important and is commonly present in the general population in the form of monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance. In many patients, reduction of myeloma to a state similar to monoclonal gammopathy of undetermined significance (near-CR or very good partial response) may be all that is required for best long-term survival."

That's me! My M-spike is not clinically important! I blend in with the general population! Woo hoo!

NEW ARRIVALS

First off, a lot of people have been asking for the Delerium Tremens glassware. I just got some in today, so they should be around for awhile. Anyway, here's the new stuff.

1.Scaldis 75th Anniversary Amber Ale

2.St. Bernardus Christmas Ale (it took a long time to get, but it's worth it)

cheers,

dave

12 days and counting

It's only 12 days until I get boobs, again. This isn't like the first time I got boobs, when I was about 14 years old (late bloomer), praying to God every night (still a believer back then) to give me boobs--any boobs--so the junior high ridicule would stop (it didn't). I stared at my flat chest in the full-length mirror in the bathroom, rub the small nubs and do some ritualistic chant after my Christian prayer. Eventually, I got boobs, but dammit, for all that anxiety and work and concentration, all I ended up with were barely-B's? Well, beggars can't be choosers, so they say. But this time, I get some choice.

I met with my plastic surgeon a week and a bit ago. She took a look at what I gots, and she said that full B/small C cup would probably be the way to go. For some reason, I felt bashful and didn't pipe up that perhaps I wanted to go up a size or so...I thought, heck, she's the expert, she knows best. So she showed me a saline implant that would be about my size, and I said, "Looks good to me." I don't know why I felt like I didn't have a say in this; it wasn't the way the doc was acting or anything. I think it was just some weird thing of mine. I didn't even talk about what kind of nipples I would like (mental note: remember to tell her I like them pointy when I go in for the surgery).

Anyway, I agonized over this for a good part of the morning after my appointment. I kept thinking, "What's wrong with you, girl? It's now or never...get the big boobies you want, dammit!" So I sheepishly sent the doc this email from my iPhone:

Hello Dr. __:

I was just in to see you this morning concerning my surgery scheduled for February 11th. You had talked about giving me saline implants to make me a full B/small C cup. I was giving this some more thought, and I was wondering if I could get more volume to make me a full/bigger C/small D? I just keep hearing my girlfriends say in my head, "Go for the gusto!" so I thought maybe now's not the time to be bashful, especially since I know very well that you only live once.

Cheers,
Brandy

A few days later, I got this reply:

Brandy,
No problem. Dr. ___ has ordered you bigger implants.
Sincerely,
Ms. Assistant

So I'm like, great, big boobs! But a part of me was a little weirded out that the size of my boobs was just decided over email, just like that. Oh well.

And here's some other weirdness...I thought of how Chloe and Mylo have gotten used to see my nippleless chest, with the big scars and mottled tissue. I think it's kind of cool how that's their normative view of the female body, but I guess I'm just going to go back to being the stereotype in less than two weeks. As much as I enjoy the radical feminist notion that I had a chance to subvert the female body ideal, I pretty much have grown up with that ideal and desire to achieve it if I am able to. That admission makes me kind of sick, but I have to acknowledge that. But I'm still grateful in a way that I exposed my children to my body images issues rather than hid it from them, and that we were able to communicate about it. Chloe still asks me now and then if my boobs feel better or if they still hurt (her words), and we talk about it.

I just read a really good book called Lopsided: How Having Breast Cancer Can Be Really Distracting. I think there's this new trend in cancer memoirs to talk frankly about how one deals with the pain and self-pity rather than giving life advice on how to buck up and accept the journey. I found this book to be humorous and heartbreaking, and it really spoke to my experience.

Another book I'm reading is Lymphedema: A Breast Cancer Patient's Guide to Recovery and Healing. It's useful in its clear explanation of the illness, and gives great advice on self-massage and exercises to help clear out some of the lymph. Even Henry is reading it so he can see how to give me a massage. Fun for the whole family!

So I think I need serious makeover. Henry said to me the other morning, "Now that your hair is getting longer, you should do something stylish with it." It's not as mean as it sounds; he was saying, like treat myself to a salon appointment or something. But I don't know. I'm tired. And I guess I'll have to buy new clothes and bras when I get the new tatas. That's exciting!

So FUCK YOU CANCER, Brandy's almost back in town.

POP goes the bottle

What's my favorite new Pasadena pair?

Find out at Open Mouth, Insert Fork.

inspired by Life

I rarely read the Life section of The Globe and Mail. In the mornings, I tend to skim the front section over breakfast and then get the rest of my news from the radio and online. However, today, as I was waiting for something on the stove, I grabbed the Life section and found several articles to be of interest.

I didn't know about modern Superheroes, who don costumes to patrol the streets or do good works. These guys are proud of who they are and they think they're pretty cool, too. "I'm not a fat kid in someone's basement or some geek living out a fantasy," says a caped crusader based in Vancouver, who calls himself 'Thanatos'. Dunno. Seems a little odd to me.

I am now worried about the fact Bhisphenol A can be absorbed through cash register receipts and water pipes as well as through food.

I have seen evidence of knitted graffiti in my own city but had no idea it had become a world wide phenomenon until my Danish friend M. sent me a link to an article about "craftivists" in Copenhagen. Now I can't help wondering, if it's in the Life Section of the Globe, is it still subversive?

I learned that men undergoing vasectomies can sometimes see a puff of smoke coming from their groin area during the procedure. What would make that happen?

I was reminded that yoga will enhance my cardio performance and that exercise can help stave off diabetes and heart disease. What I didn't know that short, intense burst can be especially beneficial. Now that got my wheels turning.

And I was moved to tears as I read how one woman lost her precious son to suicide at the age of 17. My spouse and I have both struggled with depression at various points in our lives, as have family members. I do worry about my boys. I want to protect them from everything. Hopefully, love, patience and all the right kinds of support (along with a generous dose of luck) will lead them to live happy and healthy lives.

What did you learn in the news today?

Do it herself

WCK recently went through a phase where she insisted she needed help with everything, even things she could clearly do by herself. The most infamous incident occurred when she screamed bloody murder for me to come upstairs to her room, and then swore up and down that she ABSOLUTELY COULD NOT walk three feet to her bookshelf to get a book on her own. We had a standoff for about 15 minutes until she finally agreed to try walking the three feet.

Now, overnight, she has entered a phase where she insists she can do everything herself. Of course I want to encourage self-reliance, but it's a little extreme. Today I innocently opened her bedroom door, and she instantly collapsed on the floor sobbing, because she wanted to open the door herself. Can we find a happy medium here, WCK? Can we?

Today we were at Target, and I put our items on the checkout conveyor belt.

"WAIT!!" shrieked WCK. "I WANT TO PAY FOR IT!!!"

Wow. Think of all of the luxuries a preschooler's salary could buy.

Dark financial outlook for CIRM

Dark Financial Outlook for CIRM Disclosed Tonight by David Jensen, California Stem Cell Report, January 29, 2009. Excerpts:

The financial condition of California's $3 billion stem cell agency tonight appeared bleak and "daunting," based on briefings provided to its 29-member board of directors.

.....

CIRM's financial plight is the result of California's inability to sell state bonds because of the state's $40 billion budget crisis. CIRM relies on bond sales for funding. It has approved $635 million in grants, many covering several years, but currently does not have the cash to fund all of them.

.....

The briefings disclosed that even if the state budget crisis were solved tomorrow, CIRM would face financial difficulties. That's because it takes time to bring bonds to market. Bonds supporting more critical needs would be sold well before the state would consider offering the CIRM bonds.

Bye, bye, Blago

And so we have a new governor, a more stable one, though he's been known for years as a gadfly.
When Eichmann was on trial in Jerusalem, the joke was that the worst sentence he could get was to live in Israel without proteksia (connections, patronage, contacts).
I think Blagojevich's sentence should be that he has to spend the rest of his life in Springfield, or Springpatch, as L and his colleagues call it.
Our ex-guv hated going to Springfield--it's as if he didn't know that was the capital when he ran for the office. He explained that he needed to spend time in Chicago because that's where his family was. (Apparently they couldn't travel to the capital, either.)
The very worst would be if he had to eat horseshoes for the rest of his life.
Horseshoes are a Springfield delicacy: toast topped with meat, french fried potatoes, cheese sauce and who knows what else.

Elvis on my Pelvis

Last day of radiation is tomorrow, thankfully. I am tired of my outside blistering and my inside turning to mush. Five more chemos left. To say I've been depressed lately would be a gross understatement- bursts of tears will be triggered by something as trivial as guilt over my mom buying me socks. I feel like a burden. Everything seems too delicate and temporary. I look out and see paper houses and paper trees, origami lives being smooshed to bits every now and then for no particular reason. My current situation is seeped in self-induced loneliness and death and anxiety over how short my life might be. I really wish I could say troop morale was better, but, war is always grim.

I want you all to know that the King is alive and well somewhere south of my bellybutton.


Maybe when I'm better I'll get him tattooed over the burn?


things to be happy about tonight:
++solitude
++clean sheets in a cold room
++learning to play piano
++20 plus pages written
++the privilege of extra time that treatment has given me
++always possibilities

Miss Hoover? I glued my head to my shoulder!

One of my favorite episodes of The Simpsons is "I Love Lisa". This is the Valentine's Day episode where Ralph Wiggum gets a crush on Lisa. Just the other day, I bought WCK a new Valentine's Day t-shirt, not because she needs yet another Valentine shirt, but because it has a bee on it and says, "Bee Mine!", and it reminded me of Ralph Wiggum.



Anyway, if you remember the episode, you'll remember that the inept local radio DJs play "Monster Mash" on Valentine's Day and again on Presidents' Day. When I asked WCK what she did at school today, she proudly told me that she sang, "Monster Mash."

SERIOUSLY? LIKE ON THE SIMPSONS???? I questioned this repeatedly, but she insisted. "Sometimes you just have to sing Halloween songs on Valentine's Day, Mommy," she said patiently.

I was starting to think that her teacher was a fellow Simpsons fan with a wicked sense of humor. I wondered if I should send a thank-you card (or, perhaps, a "Let's bee friends" card). Then I opened WCK's backpack and saw a sheet of paper that said the class studied the letter "M" and learned the word "monster" as one of their sign-language words today. Oh.

Do you think it is possible that not everything in life revolves around The Simpsons? I choo-choo-choose not to believe that.

MADRUGADA OBSCURA

We just got a shipment of Jolly Pumpkin's oak aged Belgian-style stout, Madrugada Obscura. Buy some.

cheers,

dave

salty

Whenever I have bloodwork done before chemo, the nurse will flush out my port with saline. I always get a salty taste in my mouth and in the back of my throat.

Lately, I have been getting that taste when I am out walking my dogs in the city. I have a lot of winters under my belt but this is the first time I have noticed this. I don't know whether there is more salt on the streets this year or if more of it is being churned up by the extra traffic (there certainly more, along with more pollution from exhaust since the bus trike started five weeks ago). It freaks me out a little.

A couple of week ends ago, I woke up to find out that the power was out in half the house. The living room had no power, the dining room was fine. Our bedroom had no power. The other upstairs rooms were OK. The furnace worked (thank goodness) but the hot water heater did not. The fridge was working fine but the microwave was not. The strangest part was that half the stove was working (three of the elements and the oven were working. The display panel and a fourth element were not) The breadmaker, which was plugged into the stove, was chugging away.

We dithered a bit about what to do until I insisted that we call an electrician (it was a Saturday morning). Three hundred dollars later, he told us that the problem was around a little box outside the house (I believe it's called a "crimp"). If the issue was on one side of the box, Hydro (the electric company) would have to fix it, if it was on the either side than it would be "very, very expensive."

So, after torturing ourselves with some worse-case scenarios, we called Hydro.

Then the power came back on.

Hydro came a couple of hours later and narrowed down the likely problem to some wires that had been corroded by salt (I should point out that we live on the corner of a very busy thoroughfare). They fixed the wires closest to the house but were called away before they could fix the ones by the box on the street (don't you all love my technical expertise in these matters?) they were called to a fire.

The power went off again a couple of hours later.

I called Hydro again but since we still had heat, we weren't at the top of their emergency list.

Hydro came back the next morning, by which time the power was on again.

The guys (the same ones as the day before) fixed the street end of the wires and we have not had a problem since.

And yes, T., we should have called Hydro in the first place.

It's made me wonder, though, about all the salt we must be breathing in (along with all the other pollutants from cars and other things). It can't be good for you.

I'd ask Mr. Internet but I'm too scared.

And it occurs to me that I didn't even think about pollution (let alone salt) when we bought the house more than 10 years ago.

Nothing for Genome Canada

Budget 2009: A very dark day for big science by Dale Kirby, Macleans OnCampus, January 29, 2009. News item about an article: Budget erases funding for key science agency by Carolyn Abraham, The Globe and Mail, January 29, 2009. Excerpts from the article:

For the first time in nine years, Genome Canada, a non-profit non-governmental funding organization, was not mentioned in the federal budget and saw its annual cash injection from Ottawa - $140-million last year - disappear.

"We got nothing, nothing, and we don't know why," said a stunned Martin Godbout, Genome Canada president and CEO. "We're devastated."

The news spread like a virus through the research community yesterday as the country's top scientists wondered whether the oversight was a mistake. ...

Genome Canada is a pivotal member of the Cancer Stem Cell Consortium (CSCC).

My name is Susan and I'm a Yahoo! Group junkie

Good news: I went in for my monthly visit at the City of Hope on Monday and my Eosinophils (EOS) are still behaving. I mentioned to Dr. Forman that I'm a member of a Yahoo! Group for individuals with EOS issues. The group concensus is that it could take as long as six months after tapering off high-dose steroids for the EOS levels to go haywire again.

He agreed and took out his pen and signed me up for monthly visits for the next six months. Most patients who are one-year post transplant get to space their visits three or six months apart, but this EOS business is keeping me on a short lease.

Dr. Forman was curious about how I found an EOS group and I told him there was a little thing called the World Wide Web that made it easy for patients to find their peers. The rarer the disease, the more desperate patients are to make connections. Most of the members of the EOS group have been diagnosed with HES (Hyper Eosinophilic Syndrome). Almost everyone has a horror story of becoming deathly ill (much as I was last summer) before doctors reached a diagnosis. I was actually pretty lucky to be under the care of a hematologist at the time.

As I've mentioned before, my preoccupation with the EOS has taken my mind off the possibility of a cancer relapse. Even Dr. Forman said, "I almost forgot the reason you first came here," as he checked my neck for swollen lymph nodes. And my email messages from my Mantle Cell Lymphoma (MCL) group go mostly unread these days.

It's also taken my mind off my cutis laxa (lax skin) disorder that, I'm ashamed to admit, was a bigger blow to me than finding out I had cancer. Mantle Cell Lymphoma is treatable; cutis laxa is not. I had fears of looking like a shriveled prune before my 55th birthday, alive but repulsive. In the last month, two other patients, a man and woman, have emailed me after finding my blog post on cutis laxa. Both were extremely relieved to find someone else with the same rare condition and are eager to share stories, feelings and recommendations for plastic surgeons.

I plan to talk by phone tomorrow with the woman with sagging skin. I may even suggest that we start a Yahoo! Group.

New Arrivals

JUST IN TODAY:

1.Santa Cruz Ale Works IPA

2.La Goudale Biere De Garde

3.Amadeus Wit

In case anyone missed the last round of phone calls, BEER OF THE MONTH FOR FEBRUARY IS HERE!

cheers,

dave

Blogger's block

I know I haven't blogged in almost a week. I have a serious case of blogger's block. Really. We're still going about our daily lives around here, WCK is still extremely cute, but I have nothing interesting to say. I guess after blogging nonstop for over three years, this was bound to happen.

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to remain calm and post a clip from the movie Cocktail.

That's the best thing to do in any situation, really.

CIRM videos on YouTube

There's an Announcement, dated January 20, 2009, on the home page of the California Institute for Regenerative Medicine (CIRM), entitled: CIRMTV: CIRM videos now available on YouTube. The link leads to a Playlist of CIRM Video Stem Cell Basics. One of these, Therapies Based on Cancer Stem Cells (4:33 min), features Catriona Jamieson. It currently has a 5-star rating.

For an example of a news release about the work of her group, dated April 7, 2008, see: From Bench to Bedside in One Year: Stem Cell Research Leads to Potential New Therapy for Rare Blood Disorder by Debra Kain, University of California - San Diego News Center. The first sentence:

A unique partnership between industry and academia has led to human clinical trials of a new drug for a rare class of blood diseases called myeloproliferative disorders (MPD), which are all driven by the same genetic mutation and can evolve into leukemia.

This research was funded in part by a grant from CIRM.

some days are blue, some days are indulgent

I have been feeling kind of blue these last few days.

I'm always relieved after I get good scan results but a feeling of let-down seems to follow almost every time and I find myself, once again, channelling Peggy Lee and asking "Is that all there is?"

I just finished the latest round of edits on my book (coming out this spring with Women's Press!) and I have been left wondering, 'so, what's next?'

I haven't looked at the outline for my novel since I submitted it for my writing course on December 31st. The course is over and I am feeling kind of daunted. I've been asking myself, "Can I do this?" and "What purpose would it serve?"

This morning, I had an appointment with my wonderful oncologist who confirmed my CT results. He also referred to my "normal" life.

I told him that I have been feeling kind of "ground down" by the emotional wear and tear of treatment, as much as the buildup of toxins.

He gently reminded me that I need to think of myself as having a chronic illness, "like diabetes", that needs to be managed but that doesn't stop me from living my life.

I told him that I know how lucky I am and that I am very grateful not to be dead (at which point he rolled his eyes) and that I've been doing other things to keep my life full and interesting (like writing) but that I miss the more fast-paced, structured work environment.

My oncologist was sympathetic but said that we are working at keeping treatment "as innocuous as possible." I only go for treatment every four weeks and I phone in for every other appointment with him. And he's right.

The truth is that I couldn't go back to the kind of long hours that I worked before cancer. Even if I could miss three or four days on treatment weeks, my body couldn't tolerate the stress or long hours. And I am not sure that I really want that back or if I am just missing the sense of identity that I got from my job.

My oncologist suggested that I skip a cycle over the summer and I'll do that. I'll also keep working at doing the things that make me happy.

I have the chance to work at making art (and writing is art). I have to embrace this rare privilege, not feel guilty about it or self-censuring and just see what happens.

Some days are easier than others.

I asked my oncologist whether there were any restrictions on my activities. He said, "No." He added that there were also "No restrictions on lifestyle" - this is the same oncologist who suggested that dope would help me to cope with the side effects of chemo (it did!) and who routinely suggests I go out for a drink to celebrate any kind of news (wine for good news, scotch for bad) - "The liver is healthy. So you can party."

To which my spouse replied, "As if she needs any encouragement."

However, given the fact that I have gained 30 pounds since I was first diagnosed (10 of those in the last two months), I think I'll be living a more ascetic existence for a while.

Cross-posted to Mothers With Cancer.

Sixth International Symposium on Ovarian Cancer and Other Gynecologic Malignancies

Sixth International Symposium on Ovarian Cancer and Other Gynecologic Malignancies

The Ritz-Carlton New York, Battery ParkNew York, NYMar 20-21, 2009

Two reports about perpetuation of leukaemias

1) Hedgehog blocker thwarts cancer stem cells, ecancermedicalscience Insider News, January 25, 2009. Excerpt:

The hedgehog signalling pathway helps to maintain leukaemia stem cells, which are the very cells that spread the disease, Tannishtha Reya and colleagues report. When a small inhibitory molecule is used to disrupt the pathway in a mouse model, the cancer stem cells become depleted.

The publication referred to is: Hedgehog signalling is essential for maintenance of cancer stem cells in myeloid leukaemia by Chen Zhao and 13 co-authors, including Catriona H Jamieson and Tannishtha Reya, Nature 2009(Jan 25) [Epub ahead of print][PubMed Citation].

Added February 10, 2009: Self-renewing blood and leukaemia cells need hedgehog by Simone Alves, Nature Reports Stem Cells, February 5, 2009.

Added February 24, 2009: Cancer stem cells: Killing hedgehog to treat CML by Emily J Chenette, Nature Reviews Cancer 2009(Mar); 9: 148-9.

2) Stalling cell division keeps leukaemia stem cells going by Monya Baker, Nature Reports Stem Cells, January 8, 2009. [The full text is publicly accessible]. The first paragraph:

To sustain disease, leukemia stem cells have to keep on dividing. To do so cells require a counterintuitive resource: a protein that keeps cells from proliferating. Work reported in Nature this month shows that, by giving cancer stem cells a chance to slow down and repair DNA damage, the protein p21, a cell-cycle inhibitor, not only helps cancer maintain itself, it helps leukemia evade therapies designed to kill rapidly dividing cells. Drugs that inhibit p21 or DNA repair, then, might help leukemia speed up and self destruct.

The publication referred to is: Cell-cycle restriction limits DNA damage and maintains self-renewal of leukaemia stem cells by Andrea Viale and 13 co-authors, including Pier Giuseppe Pelicci, Nature 2009(Jan 1); 457(7225): 51-6 [PubMed Citation].

Added February 10, 2009: Regulation of leukemic stem cells self-renewal and quiescence - the role of p21 by Lei Ying, Hematopoiesis, February 8, 2009.

42

Older, yes.

And definitely wiser.

But better, too.

With every passing year.

And every gray hair.

I love you.

Guest blogger Ruth Pennebaker on the Coyness of Tata Savers

Photo of a coy girl

Ruth Pennebaker, of www.geezersisters.com, wrote this piece today, which I wanted to bring to everyone's attantion. So here it is:

A few weeks ago, in a not particularly bad mood, I unloaded on a website called Save the Tatas. It’s all about chipper, cute little bumper stickers and T-shirts, I opined, that trivialize breast cancer and make me want to pull out a sledgehammer. To me, the problem is that breast cancer isn’t really about breasts (or tatas); it’s about death.

More recently, I got what I have to believe is a well-meaning comment from one TM, somebody who sports a Save the Tatas bumper sticker and hasn’t yet run into me and my sledgehammer. Here it is:

Though I understand your concern, I believe you may have mistaken the purpose of “save the tatas”. Yes, breasts are nice to have, but when faced with cancer, they are nothing. You stated, “Cancer in your breasts doesn’t kill you; it’s simply where cancer can start. You stop worrying about your breasts really quickly — and start worrying about sites where the breast cancer can metastasize. Places like your liver, lungs, bones and brain that are a bit more vital than your cleavage. Places where the cancer will kill you.” I could not agree with you more. However, I believe that ’save the tatas’ is directed more towards gaining funds to find a cure for breast cancer, and not actually saving the breast once cancer has been diagnosed. If a cute, catchy phrase will encourage other people to donate their money to find a cure, then lets come up with cute, catchy phrases. I truely am sorry for you and those who have already lost their breasts to cancer. But, I will look beyond myself and place a sticker on my car in hopes that a cure will be found before too many other women are affected.

Oh, dear. Time to breathe deeply and count to 10. Think blissful, peaceful thoughts and concentrate on world harmony! Inhale newness and life, exhale conflict and lingering malevolence! Aspire to a higher state of being, of acceptance, of love! Then –

Oh, shut up. Save it for your 5:45 yoga class, you nirvanic twit.

Again, I do think this comment — and probably the moronic bumper stickers and T-shirts, as well – are basically born of good intentions, if not good grammar and proper spelling. Maybe they raise all kinds of money for breast-cancer research and prevention. Maybe their checks, unlike their tatas, don’t bounce. We can always hope, can’t we?

But I do wonder about a couple of things. It’s possible that I’m the only breast cancer survivor on planet earth who is deeply offended by STTT. But frankly, I doubt it. (Cancer Bitch, where are you when I need you?) In that case, why in the world adopt a slogan that antagonizes at least some women who have been most affected by this dread disease?

And, please, for God’s sake, spare me your pity for my bilateral mastectomy. I thought I had made that clear: I don’t pity myself and I don’t want anybody else’s pity. The fact is, I have been overwhelmingly fortunate. I’ve survived 13 years and am beginning to contemplate social security; I’ve lived to see both my children grow up; I’ve aged enough that I can no longer die young.

Unlike my friends Martha and Cindy and Clare and Roxy and Alice, I have had a future. Sometimes, I feel as if I am aging for all of us, trying to do the best I can for the rest of them, to honor them whenever I can with my own imperfect, but (so far) salvaged life.

But somehow, with the Tata people, it always gets back to breasts and a wink and a nudge. Why be serious about life or death or illness, when you can be cutesy? It’s so easy to whistle in the dark when you’ve never really been there.

(Copyright 2009 by Ruth Pennebaker)

Neoplastic transformation of intestinal SC

Cancer stem cells: Can mutated stem cells produce tumours? by Nicola McCarthy, Nat Rev Cancer 2009(Feb); 9(2): 74 [full text accessible after free registration]. Last sentence:

Both papers indicate that a single mutation in normal intestinal stem cells can give rise to tumours, as has been suggested. It is interesting that, although LGR5 and PROM1 seem to mark similar stem cells in the small intestine, PROM1 does not mark colonic stem cells, whereas LGR5 does. This illustrates the need to clearly define markers and their limitations if we are to begin to understand the contribution of normal tissue stem cells and cancer stem cells to tumorigenesis.

The two papers referred to are these [neither are publicly accessible]:

1) Crypt stem cells as the cells-of-origin of intestinal cancer by Nick Barker and 9 co-authors, including Hans Clevers, Nature 2008(Dec 17) [Epub ahead of print][PubMed Citation].

2) Prominin 1 marks intestinal stem cells that are susceptible to neoplastic transformation by Liqin Zhu and 9 co-authors, including Richard Gilbertson, Nature 2008(Dec 17) [Epub ahead of print][PubMed Citation].

See also this blog post: Two articles linking normal intestinal SC to CSC, December 18, 2008.

From a Daughter's Point of View

I talked to my daughter about my last blog post. Did she think parents should tell their children when they are diagnosed with cancer, or should they lie and spare their kids a terrible and painful truth?

Her reaction was viseral and immediate. She said she thought it was wrong to lie to children about a parent's cancer diagnosis. She said she would have been very angry if she'd found out later that she'd not been told the truth, even though she was only 10 years old at the time. My daughter said she knew from the vibes in the house and how her father was acting that something was very wrong with me. She said if we'd have chosen not to tell her the truth and if she'd found out later, she would have been angry at the dishonesty, would have resented not being told the truth and would have had difficulty trusting us thereafter. She felt the ONLY right thing to do is to tell a child the truth about a parent's cancer diagnosis.

The CR magazine article Losing a Parent quotes Paula K. Rauch, a child psychiatrist and co-author of the book Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child When a Parent is Sick “If a child is kept in the dark about the severity of a parent’s illness, they can feel like they were betrayed or lied to and may even feel unloved,” she says. “That can leave them with problems trusting the surviving parent or the other adults in their lives.” From what my daughter said me, this would have been true for her.

I wonder too now if knowing the truth at least gave her some sense of control. She could do something about it; she could make me cards and write me letters, pray for me, talk to her friends about what was happening, seek support. She knew what the problem was so she was able process it. Maybe for kids it's the same as it is for us adults- sometimes the limbo of the unknown is worse than the hard truth.

I have lost appendiceal cancer friends who have been in hospice and who have had young children, so I asked my daughter if the honesty should extend to telling a child that a parent was going to die. She hesitated at that. She said she didn't think she could deal with knowing a parent was going to die and living with that daily reality as a child, but that she would want to be prepared. She would want to know that it was possible her parent might die, so that when it happened it wouldn't be a complete shock, that some part of her might have been ready. She could have at least gotten used to the idea, the possibilty.

camera obscura

Today I found the stack of photobooth pictures that used to adorn my fridge. I stared at them for a good 10 minutes, unable to recognize the constant in all of them. That hair, those good times. Whose are they? Certainly not mine. I feel like I'm staring at a dead girl. The people in these photos have gone on to do all sorts of things- some have moved away, some are having babies, some are in love now. Some are out of love. Some I see more, most I see less. I am the same. I died in September, and now I'm just waiting to be born again.
I don't recognize myself when I look in the mirror, either. Here, I am totally alien. Bald like a baby, except for blond downy hair that seems to be sprouting up everywhere. I wonder if I will be blond now. eep. I don't want to be a whole new person just yet.

For posterity's sake, here was my radiation burn last week:


It's so strange having a burn eat up your skin seemingly out of nowhere. Lamest super power ever.

Another effect of radiation? Laziness. My dreams are becoming too easily decipherable. Last night I dreamt I had a boxing match with death. He was eight feet tall and shrouded and absolutely terrifying. He then turned into a man that suspiciously resembled Ryan Seacrest. I couldn't touch him, lest I die, so I boxed with red knitted mittens on my hands. Thanks subconcious. I already knew that I like boxing and knitting and that I am still a little scared of death and definitely very scared of Ryan Seacrest.

another irresistible list of books

I have lifted this from Sassymonkey who stole got it from Kailana, who got it from Booklogged's blog.

It's Entertainment Weekly's "New Classics" List. It's an interesting list, sure. I have read 20 of the books on the list (crossed out below) and loved them all except The Da Vinci Code (meh) and The Corrections, which I couldn't finish.

I have also bolded the ones I have in my house (via my spouse, gift, long term loan or my own purchase) that I haven't read yet. There are quite a few of those too. I'm happy to see several graphic novels on the list.

What do you think?

1. The Road , Cormac McCarthy (2006)
2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, J.K. Rowling (2000)
3. Beloved, Toni Morrison (1987)
4. The Liars’ Club, Mary Karr (1995)
5. American Pastoral, Philip Roth (1997)
6. Mystic River, Dennis Lehane (2001)
7. Maus, Art Spiegelman (1986/1991)
8. Selected Stories, Alice Munro (1996)
9. Cold Mountain, Charles Frazier (1997)
10. The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki Murakami (1997)
11. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer (1997)
12. Blindness, José Saramago (1998)
13. Watchmen, Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (1986-87)
14. Black Water, Joyce Carol Oates (1992)
15. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, Dave Eggers (2000)
16. The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood (1986)
17. Love in the Time of Cholera, Gabriel García Márquez (1988)
18. Rabbit at Rest, John Updike (1990)
19. On Beauty, Zadie Smith (2005)
20. Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding (1996)
21. On Writing, Stephen King (2000)
22. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, Junot Díaz (2007)
23. The Ghost Road, Pat Barker (1996)
24. Lonesome Dove, Larry McMurtry (1985)
25. The Joy Luck Club, Amy Tan (1989)
26. Neuromancer, William Gibson (1984)
27. Possession, A.S. Byatt (1990)
28. Naked, David Sedaris (1997)
29. Bel Canto, Anne Patchett (2001)
30. Case Histories, Kate Atkinson (2004)
31. The Things They Carried, Tim O’Brien (1990)
32. Parting the Waters, Taylor Branch (1988)
33. The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion (2005)
34. The Lovely Bones, Alice Sebold (2002)
35. The Line of Beauty, Alan Hollinghurst (2004)
36. Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt (1996)
37. Persepolis, Marjane Satrapi (2003)
38. Birds of America, Lorrie Moore (1999)
39. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri (2000)
40. His Dark Materials, Philip Pullman (1995-2000)
41. The House on Mango Street, Sandra Cisneros (1984)
42. LaBrava, Elmore Leonard (1983)
43. Borrowed Time, Paul Monette (1988)
44. Praying for Sheetrock, Melissa Fay Greene (1991)
45. Eva Luna, Isabel Allende (1988)
46. Sandman, Neil Gaiman (1988-1996) (The first one..)
47. World’s Fair, E.L. Doctorow (1985)
48. The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver (1998)
49. Clockers, Richard Price (1992)
50. The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen (2001)
51. The Journalist and the Murderer, Janet Malcom (1990)
52. Waiting to Exhale, Terry McMillan (1992)
53. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Michael Chabon (2000)
54. Jimmy Corrigan, Chris Ware (2000)
55. The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls (2006)
56. The Night Manager, John le Carré (1993)
57. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe (1987)
58. Drop City, TC Boyle (2003)
59. Krik? Krak! Edwidge Danticat (1995)
60. Nickel & Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich (2001)
61. Money, Martin Amis (1985)
62. Last Train To Memphis, Peter Guralnick (1994)
63. Pastoralia, George Saunders (2000)
64. Underworld, Don DeLillo (1997)
65. The Giver, Lois Lowry (1993)
66. A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again, David Foster Wallace (1997)
67. The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini (2003)
68. Fun Home, Alison Bechdel (2006)
69. Secret History, Donna Tartt (1992)
70. Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell (2004)
71. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down, Ann Fadiman (1997)
72. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon (2003)
73. A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving (1989)
74. Friday Night Lights, H.G. Bissinger (1990)
75. Cathedral, Raymond Carver (1983)
76. A Sight for Sore Eyes, Ruth Rendell (199
77. The Remains of the Day, Kazuo Ishiguro (1989)
78. Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert (2006)
79. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell (2000)
80. Bright Lights, Big City, Jay McInerney (1984)
81. Backlash, Susan Faludi (1991)
82. Atonement, Ian McEwan (2002)
83. The Stone Diaries, Carol Shields (1994)
84. Holes, Louis Sachar (1998)
85. Gilead, Marilynne Robinson (2004)
86. And the Band Played On, Randy Shilts (1987)
87. The Ruins, Scott Smith (2006)
88. High Fidelity, Nick Hornby (1995)
89. Close Range, Annie Proulx (1999)
90. Comfort Me With Apples, Ruth Reichl (2001)
91. Random Family, Adrian Nicole LeBlanc (2003)
92. Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow (1987)
93. A Thousand Acres, Jane Smiley (1991)
94. Fast Food Nation, Eric Schlosser (2001)
95. Kaaterskill Falls, Allegra Goodman (1999)
96. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown (2003)
97. Jesus’ Son, Denis Johnson (1992)
98. The Predators’ Ball, Connie Bruck (1989)
99. Practical Magic, Alice Hoffman (1995)
100. America (the Book), Jon Stewart/Daily Show (2004)

Uh it is Saturday

Was at SMU yesterday just hanging out in Dallas. Yep I am back in school again; studying Security Engineering (MS Sec. Eng.). Didn't realize how close to Rhonda's office the campus is (3minutes).

I was hot yesterday, rolling w/ the windows down it was 82 degrees.

I hope Raegan has a better game today (basketball) she is playing alot better than last year.
Did I mention it is cold as heck today 33 degrees.

no news is good news on the CT scans

Ovarian Cancer Researchers At Yale Win Millions In Federal And Foundation Grants

Sood Makes Breakthrough in Ovarian Cancer Research

HOUSTON, TX - In a major breakthrough, which can dramatically increase survival chances of ovarian cancer patients, an Indian American scientist has identified two proteins whose presence increases the median survival rate by 11 years in patients with the disease.

A study of nearly 250 ovarian cancer patients by Dr Anil Sood, MD, Professor in the departments of Gynecologic Oncology and Cancer Biology at M D Anderson, along with other researchers, found that woman with high levels of two proteins named Dicer and Drosha in their tumor cells had a median survival rate of 11 years. While, in patients with low levels of one or both proteins about 40 percent of those studied had a median survival of less than three years.

Sood’s discovery marks a significant advance for an emerging area of basic science called RNA interference, which one day may transform medicine.

“What’s important is that Dicer and Drosha are critical to the process of RNA interference,” Anil Sood said.

read more: http://www.indiajournal.com/pages/event.php?id=5786

Talking With Your Children

CR Magazine is a new magazine published by the American Association for Cancer Research. The magazine seeks to connect groups of those affected by cancer in a collaborative effort. The CR stands for Collaboration->Results. It will take all of us affected by cancer; patients, advocates, caregivers, healthcare providers and researchers working together in a collaborative effort to one day see to see results, to see cancer defeated. I believe in the premise. I subscribe to and love the magazine.

The winter issue that was recently published had a great article: Talking With Your Children . The article advocates having an open dialogue with your kids about your cancer. I agree whole-heartedly.

Talking to my kids about my cancer diagnosis was very difficult. We all want to protect our kids from pain, we want to provide them with a stable and nurturing environment, we want for them to feel safe and secure. Telling our kids that we have a potentially life-threatening illness is very difficult. It causes them pain, it disrupts their sense of safety, it makes them feel insecure. When we tell our kids we have cancer, we cause them to have feelings that we as parents have always tried to protect them from. Its hard.

My own kids were 10 and 11 when I had to tell them I had cancer. I did keep the information age-appropriate, and I was as honest as I could be. I told them I had cancer of my appendix, that is was serious and that I was going to get the best treatment I could find for my disease. I didn't tell them I'd been told I had a very poor prognosis and had very limited odds of surviving even three years. They didn't need to know that at the time. But I didn't promise them I wouldn't die, either. I just told them I was going to do my best to live a long time; that was true.

I went to their school to talk to both of their teachers to let them know I had a serious cancer, would have to travel across the country for surgery and that I would be gone for several weeks. I asked the school to please let me know if my children developed any problems.

I let my kids know they could talk to me any time about how they felt or about any fears they had. I also told them if they wanted someone else to talk to they could talk to their dad or grandmother. I told them they could also talk to their teachers, that their teachers knew. I offered to take them to a counselor if they felt they needed that.

After I told them, one of my daughters woke up several times sobbing in the middle of the night. She'd climb into my bed telling me she had dreamed that I'd died. I couldn't tell her I wouldn't die. I instead told her to look at me, that I was doing well, and I was getting very good care. That seemed to be enough at the time.

It was tough.

The one good thing was that my cancer was rare. My kids went to school and told all of their friends their mom had cancer. Over the lunch table they heard many stories from children who had lost grandparents, aunts and uncles to cancer. They came home uplifted, though...not one friend had lost a family member to appendix cancer, only to brain and breast and colon cancers. None of their friends had even heard of anyone dying of appendix cancer!

I've communicated with other appendiceal cancer patients who have only told their children that their mother had a "really bad tummy ache" and needed to see a special doctor. I kind of wonder if the kids didn't already know their mothers had cancer...I know in my own house the phone rang off the hook at first, the kids saw their dad crying for the first time, flowers came to the house from many people, there were messages on the answering machine for my husband "We are so sorry". I can't imagine with all of the cancer talk at my house that they wouldn't have somehow overheard the word and known that their mother had cancer. And if my kids had thought they weren't supposed to know, they wouldn't have had the opportunity to talk to my husband and I as they did about my diagnosis, they'd have lost that opportunity for support. I wonder sometimes if the kids who were spared the truth developed a terrible fear of stomach aches for the rest of their childhood?

There's a link to another article, Losing a Parent: How do you prepare kids for a parent's death? at the main article's side bar. I've known several appendix cancer patients who have died leaving young children behind. One parent was a hospice patient, and the nurse helped the kids and the parent work together to make a "Memory Box" of mementos for the child to treasure. I've communicated with several parents of small children who have lost their battle, some have left memory boxes, one wrote her child a letter he can read when he is older. I know of a family with 5 children who lost their father to a house fire...the mother found a non-profit program (Rainbows)that helped children who had lost a parent. I know those kids now, years later, and they are doing well.

I know our cancer diagnoses are difficult for our kids, but I also know now that in the end the experience helps shape their character. My kids now have great empathy for those affected by cancer. They do speeches at school advocating cancer research and telling our story, they have friends over to make appendix cancer ribbons to distribute.

I've learned that kids are resilient. They are stronger than we know.

ALASKAN BARLEYWINE

Alaskan Barleywine is here! Winner of the gold medal at the
2007 Toronado Barleywine Festival.
Quantities are limited, so grab it while you can!


cheers,

dave

update

just got the call that the biopsy is clear--no cancer!  yeah.  just the old body doing its usual mostly-harmless weirdness.

Bludgeon

Here I am again, waiting for biopsy results.

I've talked to some of you readers in the past couple months who said that you look at my blog and when you don't see an update, you're happy because it must mean I'm doing well.  Well, yes and no.  It means that I'm hiding, and that I have nothing that I think is exciting enough for people to read, and that I'm doing okay otherwise.  But the funny thing is, despite me not giving a daily or more regular update on my blog, I've got a million unposted entries in my head.  I often walk around in life with a picture of the blog and what I would write if I sat down to do so, but they just kind of evaporate into the rot of my brain before I reach a computer.

So, since I mentioned the biopsy, let me talk about that.  When I saw the doc about the lymphedema on my right arm, she also checked out my left armpit, which I told her was sore.  Sure enough, she felt a lump.  So then she told me to get an ultrasound, which I did this week.  When I got the ultrasound done, the radiologist was concern about the images, and she ordered me to come back in a couple days for a fine needle aspiration, which is a way to get samples from the lymph node.  So I had that done.  I watched them stab the shit out of the poor lymph node, sticking in the needle and wriggling it around like crazy (don't worry--they administered freezing to the area, so I didn't feel anything).  They got a few samples they were happy with.  They thought the image of the node changed a bit after they sampled it, so the doc said it could be a hematoma, but I'm like, how in the world would I have a hematoma on the lymph node?  Anyway, I gave my doc a heads-up on the results coming in, so she said she'd get the results on Monday and give me a call asap.

As for my lymphedema--last week was a pain in the ass, or arm, I guess.  The compression bandaging was awful, excruciating torture.  I really, honestly wanted to cut off my arm.  I really wanted to just be over with it, and get a hook.  One of my professors from UCLA has a hook arm, and I always thought it was pretty cool.  I want one of those.  Better than having this arm that's going to cause me pain and discomfort for the rest of my freakin' life.  Anyway, the massage part of the treatment was actually good and relaxing.  It's a gentle massage that's used to move the lymph fluid so that it doesn't pool as much in the arm.  After each massage treatment, my RMT would bandage my arm in a compression wrap that looked like a cast.  That pretty much sucked.  When it's bandaged like that, I can't really use my arm at all (except maybe as a bludgeoning weapon).  Then after five treatments, I went to a medical supply store called Regency in Burnaby to get fitted for a custom sleeve that extends to a glove.  I'm supposed to wear this every day, forever.  While I'm waiting for the custom to get made (it's gonna take a month or so), I got an off-the-shelf sleeve and glove, which I wear all the time.  And I also bandage on top of that for extra compression.  So I'm learning how to manage wearing these things and keep typing and doing stuff around the house.  It's a new challenge.

I have my moments when I just keep going at life, things are fine, I'm doing okay though still battling fatigue and chemo brain.  Then I have my moments when I wonder how much of Chloe and Mylo's growing up I'll be here for.  But I can't go there.  I just need to be in the Now.  Speaking of, here comes Mylo now, wanting me to see a robot he made.  Oh, there he goes again.  They're too fast to keep up with, but I try. 

Targeting tumorogenic cells in neuroblastoma cell lines

Neuroblastoma Cell Lines Contain Pluripotent Tumor Initiating Cells That Are Susceptible to a Targeted Oncolytic Virus by Yonatan Y Mahller and 8 co-authors, including Timothy P Cripe, PLoS ONE 2009; 4(1): e4235 [Epub 2009 Jan 21]. [The full text is openly accessible]. PubMed Abstract:

BACKGROUND: Although disease remission can frequently be achieved for patients with neuroblastoma, relapse is common. The cancer stem cell theory suggests that rare tumorigenic cells, resistant to conventional therapy, are responsible for relapse. If true for neuroblastoma, improved cure rates may only be achieved via identification and therapeutic targeting of the neuroblastoma tumor initiating cell. Based on cues from normal stem cells, evidence for tumor populating progenitor cells has been found in a variety of cancers. METHODOLOGY/PRINCIPAL FINDINGS: Four of eight human neuroblastoma cell lines formed tumorspheres in neural stem cell media, and all contained some cells that expressed neurogenic stem cell markers including CD133, ABCG2, and nestin. Three lines tested could be induced into multi-lineage differentiation. LA-N-5 spheres were further studied and showed a verapamil-sensitive side population, relative resistance to doxorubicin, and CD133+ cells showed increased sphere formation and tumorigenicity. Oncolytic viruses, engineered to be clinically safe by genetic mutation, are emerging as next generation anticancer therapeutics. Because oncolytic viruses circumvent typical drug-resistance mechanisms, they may represent an effective therapy for chemotherapy-resistant tumor initiating cells. A Nestin-targeted oncolytic herpes simplex virus efficiently replicated within and killed neuroblastoma tumor initiating cells preventing their ability to form tumors in athymic nude mice. CONCLUSIONS/SIGNIFICANCE: These results suggest that human neuroblastoma contains tumor initiating cells that may be effectively targeted by an oncolytic virus.

Examples of news items about this publication:

Targeting Cancer's Own Stem Cells to Fight Recurrence, Forbes, January 21, 2009. First paragraph:

Scientists have located a group of cancer stem cells or "tumor-initiating cells" which, when targeted with a reprogrammed herpes virus, are prevented from turning malignant.

Engineered Virus Targets And Kills Apparent Cancer Stem Cells In Neuroblastoma, ScienceDaily, January 21, 2009. First paragraph:

After identifying an apparent population of cancer stem cells for neuroblastoma, researchers successfully used a reprogrammed herpes virus to block tumor formation in mice by targeting and killing the cells.

Virus made to kill cancer stem cells, UPI, January 22, 2009. First paragraph:

U.S. scientists say they have engineered a virus to target and kill apparent cancer stem cells involved in neuroblastoma tumors.

ER

I broke down and went to the ER on yesterday; a SPA visit that resulted from all the vomiting that I did on Tuesday (Tuesday was also CT w/ contrast day at UT Southwestern). I was also complaining to the ER docs about the headache that had been bothering me for two days, and the ill regular heartbeats I was experiencing.

A funny note when I was signing into the ER a lady brought her son in who was coughing alot and the nurse I asked her to have him (the son 11 or 12 years old) to put on a mask, she resisted he kept coughing and ignoring the signs that asked sick patients to put on mask; everyone around the lady and boy got up and moved still he did not put on a mask; so being the good Samaritan I am I removed my mask for about 5 seconds which was just long enough for me to politely say PUT ON A DAM MASK!!!! PLEASE!!!! I said please

NEW ARRIVALS: TELEGRAPH BREWING COMPANY

Santa Barbara Based Telegraph Brewing Company produces high quality traditional styles at very reasonable prices. In stock now:

-Telegraph Golden Wheat Ale 750ml

-Telegraph California Ale 750ml

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the way, if anyone missed the Toronado stout night yesterday, you may still have a chance to have some great stuff on tap. If you rush over, you might still be able to get ABYSS, OLD VISCOSITY, FIFTY-FIFTY ECLIPSE, etc. I'm not sure what's left, but it's worth checking out.

cheers,

dave

More on first CCSIP Call for Proposals

The First CCSIP Call for Proposals was blogged on January 6, 2009.

A link to LOI Instructions has now been added to the Programs and Activities page of the website of the Canada-California Strategic Innovation Partnership (CCSIP). The PDF that's provided is entitled: Canada-California Strategic Innovation Partnership (CCSIP): Letter of Intent (LOI) Submission Instructions. Excerpt:

Letters of Intent must be submitted by Friday, February 27, 2009 before 2 p.m. Pacific Time/ 5 p.m. Eastern Time. We encourage early submission of LOIs. Please note: LOIs will not be accepted after the deadline.

We must be up inside the cyclone!

When I was a little girl, I went to a car wash with my late grandma. This was an exciting experience, and hugely extravagant, because my parents believed in washing our car themselves with the hose and a bucket of dish soap, the way God intended. My dad is a firm believer in never paying for something he could easily do himself. Someday, when he "passes out of the picture", as my family likes to say, he will find a way to return from the Great Beyond to dig his own grave. Yes, it is physically impossible, but it is cheaper. "Never let the Laws of Nature stop you from saving money," would be my dad's motto.

Anyway, while I was in the amazing car wash with my grandma all those years ago watching the assorted car-wash doo-dads spin and churn and shake the car, she told me this is what it sounded like when Dorothy was up inside the tornado. Of course, this managed to make the car wash even cooler. To this day, whenever I take the car to get it washed (because I didn't inherit my dad's Thrifty Gene), I still pretend I am Dorothy, even if it is just for a split second. I was at the car wash today, and it squirted out multi-colored soap all over my windows. Yes, there were tiny rainbows, Wizard-of-Oz rainbows, if you will, all over the car. I think this was a message from my grandma: "See? Isn't this better than using the hose?"

Sometimes in life, you just gotta go to the car wash.

P.S. As you might imagine, WCK is terrified of the car wash. I tried using the Dorothy story on her, but she was not impressed. I can only wash the car when she's in school. Maybe sometime, she and Grandpa can wash the car with the hose.

A Water Bottle by Any Other Name

Take a peek at one of my Christmas presents on Open Mouth, Insert Fork.

Stone Cali Belgique

We Just received a small shipment of Cali-Belgique.
It is a California style IPA using Begian yeast strain.


Rami

Rami

Gotta get out, get me some of those rays

The other day, I was singing one of my favorite songs to WCK, and she actually liked it. She keeps requesting that I sing it, sings along with me, and doesn't yell at me because my singing is so bad. Why? I have no idea. My best theory is that the original singers were so terrible that my singing sounds good by comparison. I mean, listen to Bobby's solo. Surely I sing better than THAT.

NEW STUFF

Some new stuff that's come in over the past few days:

1. Hitachino Nest Commemorative Ale

2. Kasteel Cru

3.Bear Republic "Pete Brown"

4.Green Flash Trippel

5.Green Flash "Le Freak"

6.Green Flash Grand Cru

7.Abbaye Des Rocs Triple Imperiale

8.Fantome Hiver (the new batch. it's awesome)

9.Fantome X-Mas (from this year)

10.Fuller's London Pride

11.Fuller's Vintage Ale 2008

ALSO:::::::::::::::::::::

Be sure to check out MAC TARNAHAN'S AMBER ALE, from Portland, OR. We are selling it in 6-packs for only $6.99 for a limited time. It's a good session ale, lightly dry hopped with cascades.

Cheers,

dave

too good to be called filler

I think I am taking the day off from writing today. I have another video for you that is well worth watching. It's from ill Doctrine and it is the best video blog/rant that I have ever seen.

moments

Typing this with the TV on...

What a day! I'm watching Michelle Obama wave at the crowd as I type this. And I have shivers.



This video gave me shivers, too. Pete Seeger is an old man now. I wonder if he thought he would ever see this day. I loved this so much.

And I loved the inclusion of the lyrics that are so often excised in this song (I certainly didn't learn them in school):

As I was walkin'  -  I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side  .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!

Chorus

In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office - I see my people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for you and me.

Obama is onscreen now, heading down the stairs to join the crowd. What must he be thinking right now?

Did you know that there is a Canadian version of this song?

"from Bona Vista, to Vancouver Island, from the Arctic Circle to the Great Lake Waters - this land was made for you and me!"

The video also includes my two boyfriends, Bruce Springsteen and Tao Rodriguez. Yum! And everyone in the crowd is so happy. Check out George Lucas. And a bunch of other people who I'm sure I should recognize.

Here he is!!!!! He's looking very Presidential. And confident.

My older son called me from school this morning. He and his friends had been combing the school for an available (and functioning) TV. His teacher suggested that a parent could tape it, so I am doing that now and they will watch tomorrow. I think it is so cool that they want to. Remember that we are in Canada and they are in Grade 5.

Rick Warren is speaking now. I imagine he will stay away from gay marriage. He's invoking Dr. King as I type this.

Obama's Playlist has been posted. One of the song's I nominated (it means "the complaint of the seal in Alaska") made the cut. It's a terrific list - diverse and interesting. And truly representative. Apparently, there were more than 130,000 votes cast.

If you are stuck inside today and want some diversion, check out The Seated View. Lene has lots of great links to interesting things posted there. There's one link though that struck me as typically American. What do you think about the Back-Up?

Oh, Aretha is singing! Shivers again! And goosebumps the size of golf balls!

I am going to try and tear myself away from the TV soon (but not just yet) so I can make dinner and go and meet Sassymonkey for decadent afternoon pint (or two) and some knitting. Going to celebrate a clean scan, the completion of my latest round of edits - and this incredible moment in history.

Biden is being sworn in! Obama is next!

Let's all hold some joy in our hearts so that we can work together to bring some real, lasting and positive change to this world of ours.

He's being sworn in now! He's screwing it up a bit, it's so cute. First sign of nerves. That's it! Congrats my American friends!

SC markers invention

United States Patent Application 20090012024, Anne Collins, Norman Maitland, Steven Bryce, January 8, 2009. [See also: Stem Cell Markers and Stem cell markers]. Abstract:

We disclose gene markers of stem cells, typically prostate stem cells, and in particular cancer stem cells, for example prostate cancer stem cells; therapeutic agents and diagnostic assays based on said stem cell genes; and including screening assays to identify therapeutic agents.

Excerpt:

[0030]We have conducted gene array analysis to identify genes that are characteristic of cancer stem cells which show an up regulation when compared to control stem cell samples from normal or benign stem cell populations. We herein disclose these genes and their use in the identification of therapeutic agents useful in the treatment of cancer, in particular prostate cancer, and in the development of diagnostic assays for the detection of the early on set of tumour cell growth. The present disclosure relates to the identification of cancer stem cell specific genes.

An earlier Patent Application: 20080233640, Norman James Maitland, Anne Collins, September 25, 2008. [See also: Prostate Stem Cell and Prostate stem cell]. Abstract:

We describe a method for the isolation of prostate stem cells, typically prostate stem cells which express CD 133 antigen; stem cells and cancer stem cells isolated by the method and their use.

Two recent publications from this research group [not publicly accessible]:

Inflammation as the primary aetiological agent of human prostate cancer: a stem cell connection? Norman J Maitland, Anne T Collins, J Cell Biochem 2008(Nov 1); 105(4): 931-9 [PubMed Citation].

Prostate cancer stem cells: a new target for therapy, Norman J Maitland, Anne T Collins, J Clin Oncol 2008(Jun 10); 26(17): 2862-70 [PubMed Citation].

A recent news item:

Investors back their belief in biotech company by Bernard Ginns, Yorkshire Post, January 20, 2009. Excerpts:

Pro-Cure's expertise is in the culture, isolation, handling and gene profiling of human prostate cancer stem cells. It is working with a number of big pharmaceutical firms in this burgeoning area.

Its management team includes Professor Norman Maitland, director of Yorkshire Cancer Research and professor of molecular biology at the University of York, who is regarded as one of the world leaders in his field.

The website for Pro-Cure Therapeutics includes a page about the Management Team.