I Love Pink M & Ms

I love pink M & Ms. I eat them every day. That's all I eat. If I eat enough of them my cancer will go away. Won't it? Isn't that what they promise? In the USA we like our news and health and our donations sugar-coated. If I eat M & Ms and I go on the Avon Walk (Do I get a free Avon makeover before setting out; all those cameras, you see; I must look my best; it's important to look my best; that's why we wear pink ribbons in our hair and--oops--some of us don't have hair; then around our necks?) and I sell Pink Ribbon Cupcakes and Support the Cause Brownies ("Great for a bake sale or afternoon tea.") then I will be in the pink. The ingredients for Support the Cause Brownies will make me healthy. If not, why would they be named after Susan G. Komen? Ooops-she's dead. She died of cancer. Maybe she died from eating these brownies. But how could that be? They're made with M & M'S (R) Milk Chocolate Candies Help Fight Breast Cancer and Snickers and brownie mix (any brand--quick, here's an opportunity for another multinational corporation to step in) and a can of (your brand name here) chocolate frosting. What could be more natural for us girls? We're made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Even our out-of-control cancer cells are nice. Because they're pink, like us. Aren't they? Remember to follow the recipe. We have to learn to follow recipes to be good cancer patients. And don't forget the final decorations. Decorations are important. "Make a continuous ring of M-&-M'S(R) Brand Milk Chocolate Candies Help Fight Breast Cancer around the bottom of the brownies." Celebrate!