I was diagnosed with myeloma when WCK was six months old. This means that she'll never remember a time when I didn't have cancer. (I almost wrote, "she'll never remember a time when I was healthy", but I don't really consider myself "sick", so that's not exactly the right word.) She knows that I take a lot of medicine, that the medicine has to come from a special "delivery guy", that I go to the doctor all the time to have my blood checked, and that I have a special doctor in Minnesota. I don't think she realizes there is anything "wrong" with me, though. I'm guessing she assumes that everybody's mommy does these things.
I'm explaining all of this because I took WCK with me to my Cancer Center appointment today. Ideally, I like to go on my own because I enjoy the quiet reading time, but I've learned that taking her now and then is really not that bad. She was incredibly well-behaved (why she can't act this way in church, I do not know), and I think it is actually good for her to come with me from time to time. This way, she can see that my doctor's office is not some mysterious, scary place. She can see that it is actually very non-scary, and that I have a group of extremely nice nurses and doctors taking care of me. She also watches them take my blood, and she gets to see that it's pretty simple and painless.
Also, she seems to really cheer up all of the elderly people in the waiting room, so I kind of feel like I'm helping everyone out. Seriously.
Anyway, my blood counts were excellent, except for slightly low white cells again. Dr. GPO said my hemoglobin is so good (13.5! Woo!) that I can stop the iron supplements and see what happens. Yay! One less pill.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
What's in store for 2009?
In 2009, I plan to live simply while consuming more champagne, sparkling wine, prosecco and cava.
I am also determined to find the ultimate crab cake recipe. (Read more about it at Open Mouth, Insert Fork.)
And, of course, I'm still on the hunt for that perfect purse.
the biggest loser
I had a wonderfully understated new years eve, nothing compared to the booze-soaked disappointments of yesteryear. I went to a house party where I found an old high school acquaintance, and from there we decided to watch the ball drop in downtown Sacramento. I had to tell him eventually that I had cancer. As we walked back to the car amongst the meandering crowd he asked, "Are you winning the fight?"
Am I? No one's asked this before. Am I winning? It feels like I'm losing more than anything else. I'm losing my ego, losing weight, losing the tumor, losing my bones. Losing my old unhealthy habits, losing my mind. Losing (not using) my misguided illusions about life. I am the biggest loser I know.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my answer was simply, "yeah."
I received a package in the mail last week from Ann Marie of Archaic Mementos and was elated to find all of these wonderful jewels awaiting me. As a designer, I appreciate the power of word-of-mouth, so I will show you the goods:
This pendant is a clock hand! It feels wonderful wearing something handmade; even the clasps have detail that put my store-bought jewelry to shame. My favorite thing:
Also, here is another site I've found with amazing jewelry such as anatomical organs, moustaches, and strange animals. If a lover or friend gave me anything like this I think I'd pee my pants with old-fashioned glee.
Radiation tomorrow. Ah, another day.
Am I? No one's asked this before. Am I winning? It feels like I'm losing more than anything else. I'm losing my ego, losing weight, losing the tumor, losing my bones. Losing my old unhealthy habits, losing my mind. Losing (not using) my misguided illusions about life. I am the biggest loser I know.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure my answer was simply, "yeah."
I received a package in the mail last week from Ann Marie of Archaic Mementos and was elated to find all of these wonderful jewels awaiting me. As a designer, I appreciate the power of word-of-mouth, so I will show you the goods:
This pendant is a clock hand! It feels wonderful wearing something handmade; even the clasps have detail that put my store-bought jewelry to shame. My favorite thing:
Also, here is another site I've found with amazing jewelry such as anatomical organs, moustaches, and strange animals. If a lover or friend gave me anything like this I think I'd pee my pants with old-fashioned glee.
Radiation tomorrow. Ah, another day.
My child is Simon Cowell
I have always been extremely self-conscious about singing in public. This is mostly because my elementary-school music teacher spent six years yelling at me on nearly a daily basis about how terrible my voice is. As a consequence, I spent most of the time just lip-syncing through all of the school programs, because I was convinced that I was screwing the whole thing up. Never mind that we were a group of seven-year-olds wearing paper sheep costumes.
The thing is, I actually like to sing. I secretly longed to be in the choir, and I mean the good choir where the kids got to wear matching uniforms and get out of math class to travel to music festivals and things, not the "anyone-who-wants-to-be-in-choir-gets-to-be-in-choir" choir, which is where I usually ended up. I sing all the time when I am all by myself, but I vowed to never sing in front of another human being, because I am obviously so awful.
Then I had WCK, and I wondered what I was going to do, since, as a mother, you're required to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and things like that. When WCK was a few months old, we started going to a baby and toddler music class led by a delightful woman who encouraged all of us to sing to our babies. "It doesn't matter what you think your voice sounds like," she'd tell us. "Your baby thinks you have the most wonderful voice in the world!"
That really encouraged me. And sometimes I just have to sing in front of WCK, because I usually have a Mr. Stinky Feet song stuck in my head that I just can't get rid of unless I sing it. Lately, though, WCK has grown tired of my songs.
"NO, MOMMY!" she'll shriek. "STOP SINGING!!"
For a while, I had chalked this up to three-year-old moodiness, but today I finally asked her why she wanted me to stop singing.
"Because," she said patiently, "you are just not a very good singer."
Oh, that hurts. Now I know why rejected American Idol contestants cry.
The thing is, I actually like to sing. I secretly longed to be in the choir, and I mean the good choir where the kids got to wear matching uniforms and get out of math class to travel to music festivals and things, not the "anyone-who-wants-to-be-in-choir-gets-to-be-in-choir" choir, which is where I usually ended up. I sing all the time when I am all by myself, but I vowed to never sing in front of another human being, because I am obviously so awful.
Then I had WCK, and I wondered what I was going to do, since, as a mother, you're required to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and things like that. When WCK was a few months old, we started going to a baby and toddler music class led by a delightful woman who encouraged all of us to sing to our babies. "It doesn't matter what you think your voice sounds like," she'd tell us. "Your baby thinks you have the most wonderful voice in the world!"
That really encouraged me. And sometimes I just have to sing in front of WCK, because I usually have a Mr. Stinky Feet song stuck in my head that I just can't get rid of unless I sing it. Lately, though, WCK has grown tired of my songs.
"NO, MOMMY!" she'll shriek. "STOP SINGING!!"
For a while, I had chalked this up to three-year-old moodiness, but today I finally asked her why she wanted me to stop singing.
"Because," she said patiently, "you are just not a very good singer."
Oh, that hurts. Now I know why rejected American Idol contestants cry.
One More Reason I HEART City of Hope
Amazing research is happening in AIDS as well as cancer.
For example, researchers are exploring if a bone marrow transplant can keep HIV from turning into AIDS.
Click here to watch KABC-TV's story on City of Hope's development of a promising new gene therapy that uses the patient's own blood stem cells.
For example, researchers are exploring if a bone marrow transplant can keep HIV from turning into AIDS.
Click here to watch KABC-TV's story on City of Hope's development of a promising new gene therapy that uses the patient's own blood stem cells.
happy new year!
2008 and was a pretty good year for my little family.
I remained in remission for a full year. I now have six clean scans under my belt.
I travelled to Florida with D. and to London with S. I spoke at BlogHer this year in San Francisco and attended a terrific breast cancer conference in Philly (where Jacqueline and John came to hang out with me).
I finished my book. It's now into production!
I started writing fiction and (gasp!) am working on a novel.
Lucy came to live with us.
T. took on a new client and is really enjoying the work and the people with whom he is working.
S. is happier than he has ever been. This year his teacher and the kids from his class entered a Lego Robotics competition. They worked very hard and won an award for their teamwork.
Five year old D. is reading now, with great fluency and expression. He also loves sports and has an active social life.
My sister got married to a wonderful man. They've bought a house that is walking distance from my home.
Barack Obama was elected President of our neighbour to the South.
We have food in our bellies, a roof over our heads, clean water to drink, good schools in our neigbourhood and more material things than we need. We are very lucky people.
I wish you all a very healthy and happy 2009.
I remained in remission for a full year. I now have six clean scans under my belt.
I travelled to Florida with D. and to London with S. I spoke at BlogHer this year in San Francisco and attended a terrific breast cancer conference in Philly (where Jacqueline and John came to hang out with me).
I finished my book. It's now into production!
I started writing fiction and (gasp!) am working on a novel.
Lucy came to live with us.
T. took on a new client and is really enjoying the work and the people with whom he is working.
S. is happier than he has ever been. This year his teacher and the kids from his class entered a Lego Robotics competition. They worked very hard and won an award for their teamwork.
Five year old D. is reading now, with great fluency and expression. He also loves sports and has an active social life.
My sister got married to a wonderful man. They've bought a house that is walking distance from my home.
Barack Obama was elected President of our neighbour to the South.
We have food in our bellies, a roof over our heads, clean water to drink, good schools in our neigbourhood and more material things than we need. We are very lucky people.
I wish you all a very healthy and happy 2009.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)